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Acting like an overly jealous girlfriend? Watch

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    #1

    Basically, my boyfriend of 8 months is generally rather friendly with other girls which bothers me, but it's become more of a problem recently as he's become really close to my best friend. They have weekly trips together, just the two of them, and they act really pally and close around each other, my best friend even has a pet name for him! Their relationship really bothers me and I can't explain why, it's not a trust issue, I just hate that I introduced them to each other and now they're basically best friends. Sometimes I learn things about my boyfriend that I didn't know, from my beat friend and it really annoys me that they're so close. I'm trying to work out if my annoyance is justified or am I just being stupid?
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically, my boyfriend of 8 months is generally rather friendly with other girls which bothers me, but it's become more of a problem recently as he's become really close to my best friend. They have weekly trips together, just the two of them, and they act really pally and close around each other, my best friend even has a pet name for him! Their relationship really bothers me and I can't explain why, it's not a trust issue, I just hate that I introduced them to each other and now they're basically best friends. Sometimes I learn things about my boyfriend that I didn't know, from my beat friend and it really annoys me that they're so close. I'm trying to work out if my annoyance is justified or am I just being stupid?
    That does sound very odd personally. I would say I am a girlfriend who doesn't get jealous that much (and my friends have also commented on this), but in this instance I think I would be. I am female and have many male friends so I think that you can have same sex relationships but I would be jealous because no one should have a pet name for someone else's bf, very odd, and also because I would not like to hear information second hand.

    I will compare it to even if you guys were all just friends, and not in a R/S it's natural to get jealous of other friendships. Jealousy is natural, it is only when it affects the r/s that it is an issue.
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    Why aren't you invited along to these trips? If they were once a month or something, fair enough.. but once a week?
    Some people here will say you're being jealous/paranoid etc and that there's nothing wrong with them being friends, but if they continue the way they are it's only a matter of time before they develop feelings for each other. (I've been in enough situations by now to know this is nearly always the case).
    Don't stop them from being friends or seeing each other etc, but maybe talk to your bf about how it's making you feel and ask to be included in their trips every now and then. I'm not saying that your bf and best friend are going to cheat on you, but people can't help it if they develop feelings and these things can creep up on you, so personally I would feel uneasy about the situation. I'm sure this can all be resolved by talking and a bit of compromise OP, so try not to worry.
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    I think he fancies her and she's enjoying getting one over on you.
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    What sort of trips are you talking about?
    And what sort of a pet name?

    I live with a couple (and sort of with another couple) and sometimes they seem a little surpised or even upset when I already know things they are telling me that they have done together, or I know something about the one that the other isn't really aware of. Because we live together, I'm also quite friendly with all of them, not to the point of having pet names but definitely to the point of saying their names in a loveydovey way (adding "ey" to their end or elongating all the vowels) from time to time. It's completely innocent.

    If you know that their conduct is innocent, I'd maybe say something politely but not really try to stop it. If you have suspicions that it's more than an innocent friendship, then go ahead and confront either of them.
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    they probably made friends with each other in the first place for your sake then realised they genuinely liked each others company and because close friends. if This happened to me I'd probably feel more jealous of the thought of my boyfriend taking my best friend away than fear of them developing feelings or anything. Kind of a "shes my friend not his". I am awear this isn't really any less childish though.
    • #3
    #3

    Nah you are totally justified in your feelings. I've been in that case on two occasions, once with my friend - i spoke to my boyfriend at the time and he cut off a lot of the contact which made me feel better, even though i KNEW nothing would ever happen, because i trusted both my best friend and the guy completely, but you can't help the niggly feeling. The other case was with another boyfriend and my sister ha, but me and the guy have since broken up so it's fine.
    I think if she was his friend before then you should just try and get over it as best you can, however as they've only become close through you i totally understand your feelings. I think you just need to talk to one/ both of them and let them know how you're feeling and hopefully they'll cool the relationship down a bit and ease off each other.
    However, i have been in the situation the other way around, where i've become really close to a friend, and just so you know it doesn't always mean they fancy each other, i was just really good friends with this guy and felt nothing for him but enjoyed seeing him when we walked to work and whatnot. So try not to get too upset about it. Good luck
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    I would definitely not be happy with this. Going away on trips together without you is ridiculous and I wouldn't stand for it.
    Put it this way, would he be happy to let you go away with another guy with out him? No, he wouldn't.
    If I were you I'd speak to both of them, tell them you're not happy and ask why you can't go with them.

    If he won't let you go with them or he won't stop the trips etc, then it might be time to question who he actually wants to be with.
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    My best friend cheated on me with my boyfriend. If there are any doubt issues confront them both & if you still don't trust him end the relationship & find a guy you can trust.
 
 
 
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