Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I have an unbelievably messy situation. Help! Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I am 17, female.

    Me and my best friend have been thinking about having sex (for the first time) and it is very complicated. Firstly, I am not brilliantly confident about my body so the idea of having sex really worries me :/

    Secondly, I have loved one of my close friends for a very long time, but he has a girlfriend and I have accepted that I can never be with him.

    Thirdly, my best friend has had feelings for another of our friends for over 2 years. However we are so close, we talk everyday and tell each other everything honestly and being comfortable with him is one of the main reasons why I would do it. I know his reasons for wanting this, and they aren't to use me.

    But I feel my own reasons for doing it wouldn't be so genuine: I am scared I won't find anybody before university, to even kiss. I also want to have the horrible akwardness of a first time out of the way before someone I love, which makes me feel guilty. But I do like the idea and I am terrified if I don't take up the offer now, I will regret it.

    This is so messy, please help me!
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    why are you in a rush to have sex before university?? wouldnt you rather wait till its somebody your in love with or atleast have feelings for that you actually really want to have sex with?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Dodge the bullet. Have sex when you are in the ****ing univi.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    It's not that messy. Sounds like a brilliant situation to be in. Stop fretting and let the shagging commence, I say.

    You don't want to be one of those frightful girls who's never had a boyfriend before and goes to uni without knowing how to handle it, and subsequently goes off the rails.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I don't see whats "not genuine" about those reasons. you may decide they weren't good enough reasons and regret it, you may always think it was the right decision but theres nothing deceitful or manipulative or "bad" about them. Its up to you though to make the personal decision as to if they are good enough reasons for you.

    personally I wouldn't do it purely because if this boy is your best friend doing so would be creating a situation that could potentially ruin that and the friendship would be more important than sex so I wouldn't want to risk it.

    Also is this all based on recent worry? if you have always had the view about sex that your first time will be with someone you love/like a lot in a relationship and this idea has just come from recent insecurities and fear you are more likely to regret it than if you have never thought of sex (particularly your first time) as a deeply romantic thing.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I don't think you need to have sex with him, it seems like you two are perfect just being friends and don't worry about being a virgin..
    When you go to university if you sleep with someone, they don't have to know you're a virgin (unless you want them to) ..Sex really isn't something to worry about!!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am 17, female.

    Me and my best friend have been thinking about having sex (for the first time) and it is very complicated. Firstly, I am not brilliantly confident about my body so the idea of having sex really worries me :/

    Secondly, I have loved one of my close friends for a very long time, but he has a girlfriend and I have accepted that I can never be with him.

    Thirdly, my best friend has had feelings for another of our friends for over 2 years. However we are so close, we talk everyday and tell each other everything honestly and being comfortable with him is one of the main reasons why I would do it. I know his reasons for wanting this, and they aren't to use me.

    But I feel my own reasons for doing it wouldn't be so genuine: I am scared I won't find anybody before university, to even kiss. I also want to have the horrible akwardness of a first time out of the way before someone I love, which makes me feel guilty. But I do like the idea and I am terrified if I don't take up the offer now, I will regret it.

    This is so messy, please help me!
    Please don't have sex just to get it out of the way! Its much better to wait until you're with someone you care about and who cares about you, and who you're attracted to. Also who has to know you're a virgin? Just relax and enjoy uni and the right time will come x
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Why do you feel the need to do it? :confused: there's no rush...

    Personally, I wouldn't.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    Don't have sex just to get it out of the way. I mean, Hell, you could, but I don't see what the big deal could be about waiting, as you said? I mean, you said you'd like to get it out of the way before you meet someone you actually like. But I don't see why you'd want that?
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    Don't rush. Good things come to those that wait (occasionally)
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 11, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brexit voters: Do you stand by your vote?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.