Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've been with my boyf for 1 and a half years and were both going to university next year.
    Our universities will be about 1.5-2 hours away in the train (I'm off to York and he's off to newcastle) but he said he said well see each other once every 3 months and even then it will be for a couple of hours or so if that!
    i know the reason why this is and I understand him but seeing him so little is still extreme
    I'm a girl who loves to be in his presence and seeks his affection and I can just see my self becoming a very jealous and paranoid person and I think I will get frustrated and I don't want it to affect my university work (studying chemistry)
    we both love each other very much
    what shall I do? Thanks
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Unless he's ugly/socially inept, which I'm guessing he's not since he's managed to bag you, then yeah it's pretty much doomed, soz xoxo

    But hey on the bright side, there will be lots of fresh meat for you too!
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Why only every three months? That's a long time to wait.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Under normal circumstances I would say it'll be fine - after all, I've been in a 300+ mile LDR for three years, almost right through university.

    But if he says things like,

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    well see each other once every 3 months and even then it will be for a couple of hours or so if that!
    then I agree, it's doomed. I think this is his way of letting you down gently, but in a ham-fisted, idiotic way.
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    TSR Support Team
    Wow every 3 months when you are only an hour and a half apart, sounds like he cannot be bothered, I could understand if he was going to a different country but he isn't. It almost sounds he wants to go off to uni and play the field. I mean LDR's are do-able with communication and honesty to each other, it's hard work but if both put the effort in then it can work, unfortunately sounds like he has already made his decision.

    Also a big massive thread dedicated to LDR's here http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=626670
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    York to newcastle is one hour by train! Jesus. I go see my gf and she is 1.5 hours by train.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Yeah, you need to talk to him about it. If my boyfriend told me he could only see me every 3 months (in a situation where we were in an LDR all year round and not just in the holidays) then I would have it out with him about it and ask him if he really wants to be with me anymore if he's only prepared to see me that much. Newcastle to York is really not that far and not expensive either.

    If he thinks that seeing you is going to interfere with his degree that much, your relationship probably is doomed. I understand him wanting to put his work first if that is his reason, but if he really wants to be with you he should make time to see you too - wouldn't he see it as a nice break from studying? And besides, although it'll feel like it at the time, first year really isn't a demanding year (unless you're doing something like Medicine) as for most courses it doesn't count towards the final mark - again if he can't make time for you then he's not going to be able to later on when the workload increases.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 11, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.