living in ? Watch

hugsnkisses
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#1
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Right well, problem is, parents are super sensitive, they still think i am their 4yearold daughter that needs protecting from the rest of the world. Sooooooooooo they have decided that i am living at home when i go to uni, iv been on a gap year.
They keep on using the excuse that its toooooo expensive, even tho iv told them i wud pay.

How many people are living at home Vs living in?
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Montrose
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They're entitled to their opinion. But you will be 19 when you go, you're an adult, some people have been working full time for 3 years already! I will be in halls next year.
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heminder
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out...
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hugsnkisses
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i no, however it is hard for me to say no, because they are really restrictive, they just keep saying no outright
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JadedHippy
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#5
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I will be living at private accommodation at Uni this year.

Don't make the mistake of living at home if you can help it. You will probably miss out on a lot. Ruining the next four years of your life because you can't stand up to your parents is not a good way to start your adulthood.

Jaded
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gianthead
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(Original post by hugsnkisses)
i no, however it is hard for me to say no, because they are really restrictive, they just keep saying no outright
ignore them and make arrangments for a place in halls without saying anything. there might be a slight row when you move out, but you just have to walk away from it and enjoy uni
their attitude is a good reason in itself for getting out; you'll be helping yourself and them to grow up
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Kingspharm
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(Original post by hugsnkisses)
Right well, problem is, parents are super sensitive, they still think i am their 4yearold daughter that needs protecting from the rest of the world. Sooooooooooo they have decided that i am living at home when i go to uni, iv been on a gap year.
They keep on using the excuse that its toooooo expensive, even tho iv told them i wud pay.
LOL under the thumb or what?
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hugsnkisses
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thats the way i was brought up
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kookabura
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I live in Nottingham and am at uni in Nottingham. I decided to live in halls in the first year and then move back home after that - I couldnt justify paying to rent a house for another 2 years about 5 mins from home! But living in halls the first year meant that I meet loads of people rather than just going in for lectures, so I know loads of people and still see them now.

Maybe you could do something similar as a comprise, apply to unis near to home, live out the first year and see how it goes. Then you might be able to talk them out of you moving back after that when they see how it has gone. They will still be near you if there are any problems
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hugsnkisses
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Well im from doncaster and have an unconditional offer for sheffield hallam, soooo it is close to home bout 20minutes on train
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BBGirl
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Can I just ask you if you're asian? I'm asking because I would expect this from asian parents who don't want their daughters to go away...:rolleyes:

If you are only 20 mins away from uni.......think about the money you'll be saving hence a low debt you'll have when you leave!
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hugsnkisses
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no im english, but they are loving to the point they are restictive, if u know wot i mean.

Im 20minutes from gettin on train, to gettin off, but i have to get the bus to the sation, etc.

Just wondering will i be missing out, because i have to leave early
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JadedHippy
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(Original post by hugsnkisses)
Just wondering will i be missing out, because i have to leave early
Yes you will. Sorry if my last post sounded harsh, I just made the same mistake (though for different reasons, lack or organisation ect) last year. Don't really want other people to make the same mistake if it can be avoided.

I only had a 30 min train journey each way last year. But yeah, when you add up the time it takes to get to the trainstation and waiting for the train ect this can easily mount up to 1-1.5 hours each way. It makes going to events/parties/societies ect in the evening almost a no-go from the start. I tried to go to the film society once, loved the movie and had a great time. But the movie finished at around 10pm meaning I got back around 11.30pm at night. Which at November time is hellishly cold and it just leaves you feeling drained. Another huge problem I had was that if something started at 8ish I would have to kick about Uni all day trying to keep myself occupied, as I did not have a flat/dorm room I could just relax in.

Hopefully it will not be as bad for you. But all I'm saying is don't let your subservance to your parents ruin your Uni experience no matter how you were raised. If you don't get your act together you will end up like me, desperately trying to find accommodation for second year with the feeling that you need to make up for a lost year. I'm just lucky in that I found good accommodation for second year, and scottish Uni's have 4 year degrees so I still have 3 years of the experience left
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lukeyboy
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will definitely miss out ! university is important as a stepping stone to independance, there is still regular income (loan etc) and support in terms of your course but apart from that your on your own. How do they expect you to look after yourself in career if the wont let you go to uni? id just bugger em and go for it, if they have such an absolute attitude then so should you. you CANT live out, i WILL live out. they cant really do anything.
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hugsnkisses
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#15
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How do i find the courage to say that i really really really want to live in halls. I no it will really hurt them, especially my dad we are close?
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KinkayGema
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#16
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I'm close to my daddy aswell (you have no idea how much of a daddy's girl I am!!) However, ever since I decided I was going to uni (when I was about 14! lol) I told my parents I was moving away. I live in N.I. and knew I wanted to go to England so I could be independant so my parents have always known that I was going away (I wouldn't even apply to a Belfast uni!) Don't be too harsh and go behind your parents back like some people are saying, talk to them- don't shout. Tell them how much not living in halls will affect your social uni life. Back up your arguements and be prepared. Think up all the excuses that your parents will use and have a reply (eg they say it's too expensive- have information about loans etc) Good luck and let us know how it goes. xxx
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lukeyboy
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i think if you are close to your parents, and if they are caring and understanding they will support you whatever decision you make. hell ive made enough decisions that pissed my rents off, but afterwards they have always helped me, even if they though it was a bad idea in the first place.
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hugsnkisses
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#18
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im not sure, when i mention it they laugh at me and dismiss it. They think im daft for even thinkin bout it.
They think i will be beta living at home, im just concerned that i will be excluded more because i am not there most of the time.
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lukeyboy
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#19
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i agree that you would. i have had a similar situation to this before with my rents and what i did was loads of research so i could counter any negative point they though of... id advise you to do the same. when it comes down to it though, you are an adult and need to make your own decisions ! you should stand up for yourself....
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KinkayGema
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#20
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my friend is a twin. both her and her twin are the youngest of four children so her parents are finding it very difficult to even think about them going away. anyway, my friend is going away to scotland but her twin is staying in belfast. their mum stayed at home for uni and felt she was left out on so much and never wants that for her kids. so my friends twin, even though she is staying in belfast, her mum wants her to stay in accomodation in belfast instead of staying at home. explain that to them
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