living in ? Watch

lukeyboy
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#21
Report 12 years ago
#21
(Original post by KinkayGema)
my friend is a twin. both her and her twin are the youngest of four children so her parents are finding it very difficult to even think about them going away. anyway, my friend is going away to scotland but her twin is staying in belfast. their mum stayed at home for uni and felt she was left out on so much and never wants that for her kids. so my friends twin, even though she is staying in belfast, her mum wants her to stay in accomodation in belfast instead of staying at home. explain that to them
exactly how it should be
0
reply
hugsnkisses
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#22
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#22
Thanks u guys, ur being really helpful, its kinda funny all this tho because my mum has a serious prob wiv me growing up because it means shes gettin older, my dad wants me to stay so that she dont moan at him, its kinda like the tv programme 'my family' when all the kids leave n they a tearing into each other.
Its rediculous, they just dont listen. I think they think im 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
0
reply
JadedHippy
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#23
Report 12 years ago
#23
(Original post by hugsnkisses)
How do i find the courage to say that i really really really want to live in halls.
Don't say "I want" say "I will". Start making plans now and get the process started for reserving a place in the hall. When you see what you can do for yourself you will begin to realise how little your parents opinion really matters in the grand scheme of things. It's importance only exists in your head. (Obviously depending on how much finacial support they give you )

Jaded
0
reply
lukeyboy
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#24
Report 12 years ago
#24
yeah, i was gonna say. you have to tread carefully if uni is on daddys dollars $$$. If your parents are a bit totalitarian i'd get them to watch the dead poets society, a somewhat hyperbolic display of the dangers of ununderstanding & controlling parents, but it would get the message across nonetheless.
0
reply
KinkayGema
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#25
Report 12 years ago
#25
No that's really rude!! She can't just walk out on her parents- they have been the ones to raise her for the last 18 years and they must care about her if they are being so over-protective! Her parents opinions do matter!! Can you honestly be so arrongant to seriously believe they don't!? She needs to let her parents know that she respects their opinion and they should respect hers- then they can compromise
0
reply
hugsnkisses
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#26
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#26
im trying to compromise however they dont respect my opinions, anyway im 19 which makes it worse. They are trying their hardest to keep me at home. im sooooooo fed up
0
reply
KinkayGema
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#27
Report 12 years ago
#27
Are you an only child?
0
reply
hugsnkisses
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#28
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#28
how did u guess
0
reply
KinkayGema
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#29
Report 12 years ago
#29
lol. well obviously thats going to make things like a trillion times worse! But they r jus scared of losing their only girl. have u told them that u will visit them all the time?
0
reply
hugsnkisses
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#30
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#30
yeah they no i will n i will prob b home most weekends or go away wiv them, they hav a caravan. They keep moaning im in the way but when i tell them well i will move out wen i go to uni, i get told im bribeing them. I dont understand?
0
reply
lukeyboy
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#31
Report 12 years ago
#31
it isnt arrogance, its freedom. parents shouldnt dictate what their teenage children should do at 14, never mind 19. if they are seriously as set in their views as you say, your either going to have to bite the bullet and tell them the score or be unhappy. theyve had their youth and education, its time for yours. your just going in circles on here, you keep saying that its hard and they dont respect your opinion but nothing will make them respect you unless you stand up and argue, with passion for your future and how you want your life to progress. i feel that the convo has become cyclic and thought you needed some no nonsense telling to help you along. i understand that your circumstanced, but just stop moaning and do it ! theres a limit to being over protective, im an only child aswell. if they dont listen to your opinions then maybe walking out is the only option, but if you cant find the courage to confront them you can only blame yourself for your situation ! im blunderbuss wielding because i feel that everyone has been tiptoeing around what ive just said, people have politely hinted advice but you keep referring back to how they dont respect your opinions or wont listen to you but make them ! its in their interest as much as yours....
0
reply
KinkayGema
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#32
Report 12 years ago
#32
Why dont u do what i do. i leave hints aroung the house so they get the idea of what i really want. leave printouts of all the accomodations like on the sofa or something. that'll at least get the ball rolling
0
reply
KinkayGema
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#33
Report 12 years ago
#33
(Original post by Alias667)
it isnt arrogance, its freedom. parents shouldnt dictate what their teenage children should do at 14, never mind 19. if they are seriously as set in their views as you say, your either going to have to bite the bullet and tell them the score or be unhappy. theyve had their youth and education, its time for yours. your just going in circles on here, you keep saying that its hard and they dont respect your opinion but nothing will make them respect you unless you stand up and argue, with passion for your future and how you want your life to progress. i feel that the convo has become cyclic and thought you needed some no nonsense telling to help you along. i understand that your circumstanced, but just stop moaning and do it ! theres a limit to being over protective, im an only child aswell. if they dont listen to your opinions then maybe walking out is the only option, but if you cant find the courage to confront them you can only blame yourself for your situation ! im blunderbuss wielding because i feel that everyone has been tiptoeing around what ive just said, people have politely hinted advice but you keep referring back to how they dont respect your opinions or wont listen to you but make them ! its in their interest as much as yours....
Not everyone is as arrogant as you! Not everyone can just walk out on the people that love them the most- or maybe you don't understand that!
0
reply
lukeyboy
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#34
Report 12 years ago
#34
i think they know what she wants, they just also know what they want, and thats more important (thats the impression i get from her posts) i think you should also look up arrogance in a dictionary. it isnt displaying an assumption of superiority, or overbearing pride. its a life changing decision that shouldnt be made by parents. if your parents tried to force you into a career would you do it even if you hated it, just because they said. sometimes extreme action is the only way to get the desired result. if you actually read the post you would see that just doing it is the last course of action, but if necessary i say get some confidence in yourself and go for it !
0
reply
JadedHippy
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#35
Report 12 years ago
#35
(Original post by KinkayGema)
No that's really rude!! She can't just walk out on her parents- they have been the ones to raise her for the last 18 years and they must care about her if they are being so over-protective!
It may be rude, but she can do so, as it is within her power and rights. I never said they did not care about her, this is simply a conflict of interests.

(Original post by KinkayGema)
Her parents opinions do matter!! Can you honestly be so arrongant to seriously believe they don't!?
I'm not arrogant, I'm being (perhaps too bluntly) truthful. I never said they did not matter, I said they did not matter in the grand scheme of things and they matter purely in hugsnkisses' head. Both of which are truthful statements. University is there for the benefit of hugsnkisses, not her parents. Her classmates and lectures and the people who run the halls of residence ect all care about hugsnkisses, not her parents. In the grand university adventure she is going to go on, no-one really gives a toss about her parents opinion except for her. Their opinion really does not matter in the grand scheme of things, and the only reason it has any effect on her University life is because hugsnkisses has, for one reason or another, decided to follow it.

(Original post by KinkayGema)
She needs to let her parents know that she respects their opinion and they should respect hers- then they can compromise
I don't think respecting someones opinion means you have to compromise. It's nice if you do, but it does not mean you have to. In some situations there is no effective way to compromise and you have to choose. It also depends how much the choice affects the other persons life. This choice will obviously affect hugsnkisses' life much more than her parents so any compromise (if one should happen at all) should be severely in her favour.

Just my opinion

Jaded
0
reply
hugsnkisses
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#36
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#36
THanks u lots, im guna try leavin sum stuff around the house, because iv already done the no stop talking about different properties, hopefully it might dawn on them that i am an adult whether they like it or not.
0
reply
Heavs
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#37
Report 12 years ago
#37
Just wondering, wouldn't leaving stuff around the house be too subtle a hint at this point, if they already know you want to live in halls?

Maybe try giving them the stuff to read themselves so they can see its not massively expensive and accomodation is safe and students looked after fairly well etc it might help decrease some of their fears for you.
0
reply
lukeyboy
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#38
Report 12 years ago
#38
please, from a parents pov, seeing accomodation leaflets around is barely likely to change their opinion. think about it, if i was a parent it would mean nothing. if youve already told them what you want they are already aware of how you feel.
0
reply
hugsnkisses
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#39
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#39
Well maybe i shud try giving it to them for them to read themselves. or leave this page on for them to read, seen as they read everything and open everything of mine!
0
reply
JadedHippy
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#40
Report 12 years ago
#40
(Original post by Alias667)
please, from a parents pov, seeing accomodation leaflets around is barely likely to change their opinion.
Yes it would. They would see how much of a litterbug their daughter really is!

Just joking, don't hurt me! :p:

Jaded
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you registered to vote?

Yes! (552)
37.81%
No - but I will (115)
7.88%
No - I don't want to (102)
6.99%
No - I can't vote (<18, not in UK, etc) (691)
47.33%

Watched Threads

View All