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Why do we go for the ones that arent "perfect" Watch

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    Im finding myself liking this girl that I know, I know that she has a boyf and I know for a fact I shouldnt like her because of this very fact, however the point im getting at is that:

    She is kinda stuck up
    She is rude sometimes
    She can come across as only caring for herself
    I can see her clashing with other members of my family (in a perfect world if we were to go out obviously)
    She flirts with me and other guys (which obviously isnt good if she has a boyf)

    yet there are times that

    She is ridiculously adorable and cute
    She is funny
    She is a tease
    She is a playful character

    Yet I can see myself liking her, over looking all the negative traits that she has, one being a major factor, in that she still flirts (while not acting on it, a guy tried to kiss her and she pulled away) with other guys whilst in a relationship. I over-look these for her positive traits.

    Why do we always go for those that will ultimately hurt us, no matter how much we try to convince ourselves that its not worth it, yet we try anyway and get hurt?
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    (Original post by Cheech23)
    Im finding myself liking this girl that I know, I know that she has a boyf and I know for a fact I shouldnt like her because of this very fact, however the point im getting at is that:

    She is kinda stuck up
    She is rude sometimes
    She can come across as only caring for herself
    I can see her clashing with other members of my family (in a perfect world if we were to go out obviously)
    She flirts with me and other guys (which obviously isnt good if she has a boyf)

    yet there are times that

    She is ridiculously adorable and cute
    She is funny
    She is a tease
    She is a playful character

    Yet I can see myself liking her, over looking all the negative traits that she has, one being a major factor, in that she still flirts (while not acting on it, a guy tried to kiss her and she pulled away) with other guys whilst in a relationship. I over-look these for her positive traits.

    Why do we always go for those that will ultimately hurt us, no matter how much we try to convince ourselves that its not worth it, yet we try anyway and get hurt?
    You're treating attraction as a rational choice. You aren't choosing to be attracted to this girl anymore than people choose to be gay.

    If you find this is a reoccuring problem, it's likely you are attracted to some things which you don't actually, rationally, want. Like I've always found "crazy" girls attractive, like girls who are just a bit strange and will make strange choices for no real reason. That's pretty much exactly what you don't want in a girlfriend, so I haven't asked any girl out who is like that, but it doesn't stop me being attracted to them. Luckily for me I'm also attracted to cute, shy girls, who are much more suitable girlfriends!

    There's no point beating yourself up about it, we get the same threads on here all the time that are the opposite- the person is really nice, but they just aren't attracted to them. Well you can't help that either. This is obviously a prime reason why some people who don't conduct themselves well in relationships always seem to find someone to give them a second chance- they are attractive.
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    Perfection is intimidating, and can be dehumanising. Flawed/broken people are much more interesting anyway.
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    This isnt about me entirely. But I have wondered why I find her attractive despite all her negative aspects.

    I find it all the time with girls finding douches attractive. Yes they are attractive. Yet they are also have vile personalities, of course this is vastly different to my situation as she is a very nice person. Its just there are a few niggling personality traits that are negative, but on the whole she is a nice person.

    Just wondering why, as a human race we find those that ultimately will hurt us, or the "broken" for lack of a better term to be more interesting and attractive. As a nice person isnt exactly the most attractive of people hence why the "nice guy" loses out all the time, yet most of the time its because he is too nice. But thats a different debate entirely.
 
 
 
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