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    Basically im 20 years old and in university and never had a boyfriend ... it makes me feel really abnormal from everyone else and i hate it. Everyone around me is having sex and i feel left and that i am missing out on something
    Has anyone got any advice for me?
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    lol, I felt sure from the title that you were going to start howling at the moon or something.

    I'm not sure I have any advice, what's the question?

    If you really feel like you're missing out on something, then you can almost certainly choose to do something about it. Just remember that you can only make that decision once.
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    You aren't the only one out there I'm sure - I'm 23 and at uni but never had a boyfriend, yes I've had crushes and kissed a guy who lived too far away to make it work, but never anything serious. When the right person comes along you will be happy!

    I know part of the reason I still haven't got a boyfriend is because losing my virginity was when I got raped and having flashbacks scares me away from guys at the moment.

    Don't worry about it too much, you are still young!
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    (Original post by user45854)
    lol, I felt sure from the title that you were going to start howling at the moon or something.

    I'm not sure I have any advice, what's the question?

    If you really feel like you're missing out on something, then you can almost certainly choose to do something about it. Just remember that you can only make that decision once.
    Lol not howling yet
    Do you have any advice on getting a boyfriend?


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    (Original post by Saaaammm)
    Basically im 20 years old and in university and never had a boyfriend ... it makes me feel really abnormal from everyone else and i hate it. Everyone around me is having sex and i feel left and that i am missing out on something
    Has anyone got any advice for me?
    That's because you hadn't met me yet
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    Visit a dating site?

    Get absolutely mashed and go out on the prowl for unsuspecting prey?

    Just a couple of suggestions.
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    You're not alone, so many people post on this site in the same situation and I know plenty of people in the same situation too. It's not 'abnormal' at all even though I know it does seem like you're the only one when you're surrounded by people in relationships, I used to feel that way too.

    Don't stress too much about it, it's true that these things happen when you're not expecting them to and also the more you stress and worry over it, the harder you'll find it to talk to people confidently. But it definitely won't happen if you're sitting indoors by yourself not meeting anyone so make sure you're joining societies at uni and taking part in them and talking to people on your course and generally just being social and making friends and eventually you'll find someone
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    dont worry about it! i actually know a lot of people who havent had a bf/gf at 21! just be true to yourself

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    I felt exactly like you when I was 20. All my closest friends had boyfriends and some of them were getting really serious and moving in together, while I had never been in a relationship. I used to get really down about it. But looking back, I had nothing to worry about. You have plenty of time to find the right guy for you. The best advice I can give is working on your self-esteem by improving stuff you don't like about yourself and getting involved in lots of activities to meet new people. What kind of hobbies do you have? You could try picking up a few more- you might meet someone there. I met my first boyfriend at 21 when I picked up a new sport
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    Bump


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    I would sleep with u !!!
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    Welcome Squad
    You'll be alright. Join **** loads of groups and societies, maybe join a dating site. More and more young people are starting to use them
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    From the other side of the gender gap, I used to fixate on the whole never-had-a-girlfriend (in your case boyfriend) thing as well. To the extent that when intimate encounters that I did have ended up leading nowhere or even turning sour, extreme senses of abnormality and worthlessness began to sink in.

    The best advice I heard that actually made a damn bit of difference to me was the idea that a relationship has to be something that complements the life that you already are busy/enjoy living. It cannot be the be-all end-all simply because when you place that much emphasis on it, the relationship can be quite unhealthy. So in short, it's the attitude that 'I like you a lot, but I could live without you if I had to'- this applies in the short-term of relationships, for longer relationships this naturally changes. There is a kind of cultural notion of the 'soulmate', through whom we can find love and real happiness (and a sense of completeness), but in reality this places unfair amounts of importance onto the person you care about. When you've never been in a relationship it's easy to fixate on getting into one, which in my opinion people can pick up on. This is why it's generally better to arrive at a place where you are happy enough with yourself that you can be yourself around people you find attractive. So for example, having the confidence to be the whole set of quirkiness etc that is you. Add in a few drinks, a few laughs, social occasion of choice, and then crucially allow things to flow if you think they are heading in an intimate direction. But don't fanatically pursue a relationship: rather, expect nothing but to go out and have some fun. Whatever else may arise from those good times... Well it's a nice bonus . But to treat it as anything more is a bad idea, at least until you get to know a person really well. For me at least, something came around precisely when I wasn't searching for it or fixating on it. It's obviously easier said than done, but it can be done .
 
 
 
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