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    A (white)friend of mine made a rude comment about all Eastern Asian people looking the same, I took deep offense to that especially being of South Asian origin myself. I found it rude and ignorant that she could say such a thing especially as she is studying for a counselling degree. Should i say something ?
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    No. It's a genuine thing, called the Cross Race Effect http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-race_effect
    She's not to blame. It was perhaps uncouth for her to say it, but the fact that she thinks this is not her fault.
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    I understand.

    However it was the say she said it, it came across as very judgmental and rude and felt it wasn't the appropriate thing to say.
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    Well one thing, with the ( so called ) whities, u have like three/four different hair colours,blond, black, brown and red,.... So u have more individuality,,,, and with Eastern poeple only one namely black ( i also do sometimes wonder why that is,,, dont u like blond?? )
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    It's just a matter of opinion like for me its hard to tell the difference between white people but more easily I can tell apart black, because I have seen a lot more and just know them as a whole more.
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    (Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons)
    No. It's a genuine thing, called the Cross Race Effect http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-race_effect
    She's not to blame. It was perhaps uncouth for her to say it, but the fact that she thinks this is not her fault.
    Im east asian and I don't think have a problem recognising people outside of my race. She might have thought that, but it was a rude thing to say imo.
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    Of course i like blonde.

    I understand that there is a tendency for Eastern Asians to look the same, as the come from a similar part of the world. However its like me saying all white people look the same, its rude and i would certainly get a different reaction.
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    (Original post by Nitrogen)
    Im east asian and I don't think have a problem recognising people outside of my race. She might have thought that, but it was a rude thing to say imo.
    I'm not saying every single person ever has this problem. But it is well documented and accepted.
    Also, I pointed out that it was rude of her to say it. What was your point?
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    (Original post by Pheoa101)
    Of course i like blonde.

    I understand that there is a tendency for Eastern Asians to look the same, as the come from a similar part of the world. However its like me saying all white people look the same, its rude and i would certainly get a different reaction.
    As I've said, it's merely http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-race_effect
    And as I've also said, it was rude to say, but to be honest, if I heard someone of another race saying that, I wouldn't take offense.
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    (Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons)
    I'm not saying every single person ever has this problem. But it is well documented and accepted.
    Also, I pointed out that it was rude of her to say it. What was your point?
    My point was should I tell her that what she said was rude and slightly offensive especially since she is doing a counselling degree, as ignorance like that won't get her very far.
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    (Original post by Pheoa101)
    My point was should I tell her that what she said was rude and slightly offensive especially since she is doing a counselling degree, as ignorance like that won't get her very far.
    It's not really ignorance - as far as her brain can tell, what she said was the truth.
    Yes, you may find it rude. But ditching every single friend who ever says something you find offensive isn't going to leave you with many friends.
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    (Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons)
    It's not really ignorance - as far as her brain can tell, what she said was the truth.
    Yes, you may find it rude. But ditching every single friend who ever says something you find offensive isn't going to leave you with many friends.
    I never mentioned anything about ditching her, had you read my response properly you would have realized that. I just wanted advice on whether I would say anything.
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    (Original post by Pheoa101)
    I never mentioned anything about ditching her, had you read my response properly you would have realized that. I just wanted advice on whether I would say anything.
    Alright, sorry, I must have misread.
    But all you can really hope for, if you say anything, is that she apologises and tries not to vocalise it in future.
    However, she could end up getting angry at you in embarassment. No one likes to be thought of as a racist.

    To be honest, if you were going to say anything, you should have said it at the time.
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    Well, I have a hard time distinguishing Asian people. (more particularly far east people). I believe they just look the same. Obviously, some do look different and more attractive but in general it's true.
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    I'm South Asian and I have a bit of a harder time distinguishing... us. It's nothing to do with being racist. We're exposed to more white people in this country so we're better at distinguishing them. Asians say the same thing about Europeans in Asia. It wasn't something she should have said with any sense but it's not racism or ignorance.
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    well the whole human population looks the same to some extent.
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    She didn't actually say "I have problems recognising East Asian people", she said "all East Asian people look the same", which is a very different thing.

    She probably didn't mean any harm and doesn't realise that it upset you. If I were you I would sit her down and say - nicely - that you know she didn't mean to upset you and you don't think she's racist, but you found it a fairly callous and insensitive thing to say because it implies that all people from East Asia are part of one homogenous mass without distinguishing, individual characteristics [or another appropriate reason]. She'll probably be shocked that she upset you and hopefully apologise or at the very least say she won't do it again. If she gets upset and tries to defend herself, she probably can't see what she did wrong and it'd be good to leave the conversation either for good or to return at a later date. Continuing to try to convince her that that was an insensitive thing to say probably won't convince her and will only cause further conflict without resolving anything.

    Personally I have really poor facial recognition in general, but it's worse for people who aren't white (I'm white). I know that's just an artifact of my own rubbish perceptions though, and not an intrinsic feature of the world.
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    I find all Eastern European people have similar features. (light blue eyes, pale skin, blonde or light brown hair, thin eyebrows)
 
 
 
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