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im muslim and gay, and I just came out to my mum, and now she hates me :(
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Original post by Snagprophet
That's odd, I thought Muslims were peaceful, mindful, peaceful, accepting, tolerant and peaceful.
Good one
She doesn't deserve to be called 'mother' if she curses her own children that she carried for 9 months.. It's your own life now and she cannot make you to be someone you don't like to be. I'm so happy my mother didn't curse me or anything, she said she still loves me because I'm a part of her.
Give her some time to get used to it, maybe she will regret what she told you before. Honestly, she should watch a great movie called 'Prayers for Bobby', then maybe she will realise that her actions might cause a huge disaster.
Give her some time to get used to it, maybe she will regret what she told you before. Honestly, she should watch a great movie called 'Prayers for Bobby', then maybe she will realise that her actions might cause a huge disaster.
Original post by ForgetMe
She doesn't deserve to be called 'mother' if she curses her own children that she carried for 9 months.. It's your own life now and she cannot make you to be someone you don't like to be. I'm so happy my mother didn't curse me or anything, she said she still loves me because I'm a part of her.
Give her some time to get used to it, maybe she will regret what she told you before. Honestly, she should watch a great movie called 'Prayers for Bobby', then maybe she will realise that her actions might cause a huge disaster.
Give her some time to get used to it, maybe she will regret what she told you before. Honestly, she should watch a great movie called 'Prayers for Bobby', then maybe she will realise that her actions might cause a huge disaster.
your mum sounds like an amazing human being...you said some nice things there..
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Hey, I seriously send you a lot of love and support as I'm bi and my mum is Muslim so I know how this can feel. Although it may not feel like it right now, trust me, she will come around and at the end of the day you being her daughter will overpower any homophobic thoughts even if it takes a while. In the meantime remember that you don't need your mum's approval to be who you are, and obviously there is nothing wrong with you though of course you already know that - but it can be hard to remember when your own mother tells you how much she hates gay people! (I've heard it all from my mum). You could try and educate her a bit when things calm down as well, it might help her to understand. Good luck <3
If God hates gay people, then why did he make them gay?
There's a good chance that your mum will learn to accept you, because the love a parent has for their child is usually stronger than a religion that they probably wouldn't follow or believe if they hadn't been brought up into it. I'm not saying she will start to accept that it is ok and natural to be gay, but she might find a way to look past it and continue to have a mother-daughter relationship with you. If not then I can't even imagine how much it will hurt you, but you will find a way to get past it.
There's a good chance that your mum will learn to accept you, because the love a parent has for their child is usually stronger than a religion that they probably wouldn't follow or believe if they hadn't been brought up into it. I'm not saying she will start to accept that it is ok and natural to be gay, but she might find a way to look past it and continue to have a mother-daughter relationship with you. If not then I can't even imagine how much it will hurt you, but you will find a way to get past it.
Original post by TheBitchOf96
If God hates gay people, then why did he make them gay?
There's a good chance that your mum will learn to accept you, because the love a parent has for their child is usually stronger than a religion that they probably wouldn't follow or believe if they hadn't been brought up into it. I'm not saying she will start to accept that it is ok and natural to be gay, but she might find a way to look past it and continue to have a mother-daughter relationship with you. If not then I can't even imagine how much it will hurt you, but you will find a way to get past it.
There's a good chance that your mum will learn to accept you, because the love a parent has for their child is usually stronger than a religion that they probably wouldn't follow or believe if they hadn't been brought up into it. I'm not saying she will start to accept that it is ok and natural to be gay, but she might find a way to look past it and continue to have a mother-daughter relationship with you. If not then I can't even imagine how much it will hurt you, but you will find a way to get past it.
God doesn't hate gay people, it's people who always say that God hates them.
Original post by bluebell100
What is a Muslim? What makes someone a Muslim?
I think there may be more serious concerns to think about than what your mum said.
At the end of the day, your mum may not know what you're doing but Allah does. It is him you will have to answer to for your actions. Forget about what your mum thinks for a moment, What does ALLAH think? That should be your concern mostly.
I think there may be more serious concerns to think about than what your mum said.
At the end of the day, your mum may not know what you're doing but Allah does. It is him you will have to answer to for your actions. Forget about what your mum thinks for a moment, What does ALLAH think? That should be your concern mostly.
At the end of the day, your mum may not know what you're doing but Rainbow Dash does. It is her you will have to answer to for your actions. Forget about what your mum thinks for a moment, What does RAINBOW DASH think? That should be your concern mostly.
Rainbow Dash, she's always watchin you:
Truthfully you couldn't have kept on dating and keeping your mother in the dark. Realistically how much longer could it last ?
I think your mother will come around. Most parents are not like God. They love us and want the best for us. She is most likely going through the shock of a lifetime and will need time to come around. Give it time.
I think your mother will come around. Most parents are not like God. They love us and want the best for us. She is most likely going through the shock of a lifetime and will need time to come around. Give it time.
Original post by Anonymous
Im gay and im muslim , i have been going out with my girlfriend for nearly 2 and a half years , ive been living with her for 6 months now. My mums been begging me to come home coz she wants to get me married. I just got fed up and just told her im gay. Right now I noe she hates m coz she told me and she cursed me in the name of god..I feel really bad now, I dont noe if teling her was the right thing? :/ 
It depends. If they'll honour kill you, or throw you out of the house, then definitely not the right thing to do.
If, on the other hand, they just don't like it, then it's better to tell them and be who you are. While you're under their roof you're under their rules, but they can't "order" you to be straight.
Btw, this is the madness of Islam (and all monotheistic religion... but particularly Islam)
Original post by Sammi_K?
X
Ha! Awesome post
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the advice., im jus gona wait for her to talk to me again, because she has basically disowned me. , I just hope i did the right thing in the long term.
yes you did the right thing - you cant live your life on someone elses rules.
Be happy in who you are - if your mother cant accept that then thats her loss not yours.
Would you associate with an avid "islamaphobe"? No? Then why would you associate yourself with a homophobe?
why feel bad? you are who you are and you have to be proud of yourself. i would feel disappointed with her, but is NOT your fault. if she has a problem with you being gay that should be her problem, not yours.
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As someone who is from a Muslim background, I think that OP is worried so much because in Islam as well as some eastern cultures, filial piety (respect for parents) is a big deal. He obviously feels bad because he loves his mother and respects her and therefore regrets having antagonised her. Also, his mother DOES love him too, he is her son after all but cannot seem to reconcile what she has found out with her entire context and world view. I can imagine it could be quite difficult to do so for any mother from such a different context.
I suggest that you try to patch things up with your mum and makes plans about moving out and living independently, preferably in a different city. A different country would be even better.Time will heal all. And since she will probably never accept you for who you are, don't talk to her about your personal relationships or sex life when you visit. If she presses you, say nothings happening and that you are concentrating on your job/studies. Parents often do go along with BS their children tell them because thats what they would rather believe. They would rather think that Johnny is a hard working real estate agent than think that Johnny is making sweet man love with Jeff from accounts. And I know that one should be "out and proud" and accept who one is, but when parents (especially Muslim/South Asian parents) are concerned its better to keep them in the dark about stuff like that.
Thats what I would do. "Out of sight out of mind" since I probably could never make her accept me for who I was nor could I have been able to bare hurting my folks by fighting with them. I love my mum and dad and I accept them for harbouring beliefs different from mine.
Hope this helped and good luck
I suggest that you try to patch things up with your mum and makes plans about moving out and living independently, preferably in a different city. A different country would be even better.Time will heal all. And since she will probably never accept you for who you are, don't talk to her about your personal relationships or sex life when you visit. If she presses you, say nothings happening and that you are concentrating on your job/studies. Parents often do go along with BS their children tell them because thats what they would rather believe. They would rather think that Johnny is a hard working real estate agent than think that Johnny is making sweet man love with Jeff from accounts. And I know that one should be "out and proud" and accept who one is, but when parents (especially Muslim/South Asian parents) are concerned its better to keep them in the dark about stuff like that.
Thats what I would do. "Out of sight out of mind" since I probably could never make her accept me for who I was nor could I have been able to bare hurting my folks by fighting with them. I love my mum and dad and I accept them for harbouring beliefs different from mine.
Hope this helped and good luck
Your mum will get over it. Your situation isn't far removed from what most people go through with their families in some shape or form; your mother had expectations of you, and now she's learned you'll never meet them. It's not too different from being the only child in a family not to go to university. She probably won't resent you forever, because when it all comes down to it, she's still your mother. Religion doesn't change that. I had a similar experience with my mum finding out I'm an atheist.
At first she was all like: 0_o
Then like: Seriously, wtf? Of course you believe in God.
And then: You're serious about this atheist thing, right?
Aaaand now her and her friends happily discuss the topic of atheism and it turns out some of her friends' kids are atheists too... and they're all basically over it. They know there's jack they can do about it.
You absolutely did the right thing. It's her job to come over to you on this one, and not the other way around.
At first she was all like: 0_o
Then like: Seriously, wtf? Of course you believe in God.
And then: You're serious about this atheist thing, right?
Aaaand now her and her friends happily discuss the topic of atheism and it turns out some of her friends' kids are atheists too... and they're all basically over it. They know there's jack they can do about it.
You absolutely did the right thing. It's her job to come over to you on this one, and not the other way around.
Parents like this 
Surely, she would want you to be happy as you're her child, and every parent wants their child to be happy (hopefully).
I'm sure this is just come as a huge shock to her, especially as your Muslim, and most people who belong to religious backgrounds would be shocked. Just give her time, telling her was the right thing to do. She'll come round, time heals everything.
Surely, she would want you to be happy as you're her child, and every parent wants their child to be happy (hopefully).
I'm sure this is just come as a huge shock to her, especially as your Muslim, and most people who belong to religious backgrounds would be shocked. Just give her time, telling her was the right thing to do. She'll come round, time heals everything.
Original post by Sharks
If you're gay then you're not a muslim
Watch infidel dude, that imam is a lot wiser than you.
Your gay. Not a murderer. And your mum should be the one feeling ashamed of herself, not you. You can't help your sexuality just as she can't help hers and I think that you should continue to stand up for yourself. She may decide she hates you or she may eventually come round. That's up to her, but you need to be honest with yourself. You shouldn't feel guilty at all; you've done absolutely nothing wrong.
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