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Does 'meeting up for coffee' mean a date? Watch

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    Recently a girl I have been texting every so often asked me to meet up for coffee. I met her at a club and got her number before I left. Thing is I don't really want a serious relationship right now, I would prefer something slightly more casual if that makes sense. If she wants to meet up for coffee does that mean that she wants a date or just a casual chat? She does seem like a nice girl and I would like to see her again and stuff; but, if she wants a relationship then this coffee is going to be incredibly awkward.

    Shall I go?
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    I'd go out of courtesy; it won't be awkward if you don't make it out to be so
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    coffee = a date

    however

    a date does not = a relationship
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    Yeah she wants the datings. For your purposes, 'why don't we meet up for a few drinks tonight?' would work better.
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    Just put some effort into how you look and go drink that Java.
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    (Original post by Yidette)
    Yeah she wants the datings. For your purposes, 'why don't we meet up for a few drinks tonight?' would work better.
    Ahh it's just so scary, never been on a date before, don't think I really want to; surely if it's a date it means she's looking for a relationship whereas I am not. The whole thing would be a waste of time, right?
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    I hope it doesn't ALWAYS mean a date, I often ask friends to go for coffee. Hope they haven't gotten the wrong idea

    But in this case it sounds like a semi-date. More casual than a real date. :yep:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ahh it's just so scary, never been on a date before, don't think I really want to; surely if it's a date it means she's looking for a relationship whereas I am not. The whole thing would be a waste of time, right?
    A date (or even a few of them) does not have to turn into a committed romantic relationship. Social interaction can lead to all sorts of places.
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    A coffee is a less serious date, but doesn't mean that she wants a serious long term relationship straight away. She could be looking for something more casual but wants to get to know you better. There is only one way to find out, and you really have nothing to lose from just going for a coffee.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Recently a girl I have been texting every so often asked me to meet up for coffee. I met her at a club and got her number before I left. Thing is I don't really want a serious relationship right now, I would prefer something slightly more casual if that makes sense. If she wants to meet up for coffee does that mean that she wants a date or just a casual chat? She does seem like a nice girl and I would like to see her again and stuff; but, if she wants a relationship then this coffee is going to be incredibly awkward.

    Shall I go?
    It's just coffee mate, what you make of it is your own business.

    It's not like having a coffee with her obligates you to marry her and fertilise her ovaries and take a blood oath to her father to take up arms against her families enemies should they be attacked and bind your two kin together ever after, and be buried in a shared coffin, where you are ritually murdered to join her in the afterlife for eternity.
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    (Original post by Studentus-anonymous)
    It's just coffee mate, what you make of it is your own business.

    It's not like having a coffee with her obligates you to marry her and fertilise her ovaries and take a blood oath to her father to take up arms against her families enemies should they be attacked and bind your two kin together ever after, and be buried in a shared coffin, where you are ritually murdered to join her in the afterlife for eternity.
    Lmfao, hahahahaha. That is an extreme scenario I must say. But yeah I get you I guess no major harm can really come from it, I guess I should really just go and see what she wants, it doesn't sound too serious. Btw I don't like hot drinks so any ideas to what I could get that isn't coffee?
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    (Original post by TenOfThem)
    coffee = a date

    however

    a date does not = a relationship
    Precisely this. She may be looking for something casual too; in which case, you can't just immediately say "lets book a room" lol If its as friends, or as a date, or as a potential fwb scenario, its just a nice, relaxed way to get to known someone and have a chat. Where it leads from there is up to the individuals!

    (Original post by eliza.anne)
    I hope it doesn't ALWAYS mean a date, I often ask friends to go for coffee. Hope they haven't gotten the wrong idea
    I know exactly what you mean - recently, I met this girl, we were texting and I suggested going for a coffee over the easter weekend because we were both bored and the weather seemed nice for a change. She, however, thought I was asking her out and replied "I'm flattered but I'm not ready to start dating again blah blah ...." I was thinking ... ermm .... I wasn't actually asking you out .... lol awkward!
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    I get she just wants to see if there is chemistry and if sustained conversation is possible. Something not in a club setting. Peronaly I cba with all this 'coffee' business. It is both lame and highly gay. You'd think we are living in Frasier Crane's Seattle. A first date should involve drink, and perhaps some caressing of the boobies.
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    (Original post by Humbert Humbert)
    I get she just wants to see if there is chemistry and if sustained conversation is possible. Something not in a club setting. Peronaly I cba with all this 'coffee' business. It is both lame and highly gay. You'd think we are living in Frasier Crane's Seattle. A first date should involve drink, and perhaps some caressing of the boobies.
    Haha i did feel like a 25 year old American guy when she asked me, but it's her choice, probably not a good idea to be like 'nah let's go drink some alcohol'. Not sure if 'caressing of boobies' is really necessary
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    (Original post by superduper9)
    Precisely this. She may be looking for something casual too; in which case, you can't just immediately say "lets book a room" lol If its as friends, or as a date, or as a potential fwb scenario, its just a nice, relaxed way to get to known someone and have a chat. Where it leads from there is up to the individuals!



    I know exactly what you mean - recently, I met this girl, we were texting and I suggested going for a coffee over the easter weekend because we were both bored and the weather seemed nice for a change. She, however, thought I was asking her out and replied "I'm flattered but I'm not ready to start dating again blah blah ...." I was thinking ... ermm .... I wasn't actually asking you out .... lol awkward!
    Yeah the first paragraph is kinda what I was hoping, that to me is fine. I just don't like the forced dating thing that seems to be in this country that seems to have spread from American TV shows. I don't like putting labels on stuff like this - seems unnatural.

    And god that sounds quite awkward, haha did you say that you weren't asking her out?
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    (Original post by superduper9)
    Precisely this. She may be looking for something casual too; in which case, you can't just immediately say "lets book a room" lol If its as friends, or as a date, or as a potential fwb scenario, its just a nice, relaxed way to get to known someone and have a chat. Where it leads from there is up to the individuals!



    I know exactly what you mean - recently, I met this girl, we were texting and I suggested going for a coffee over the easter weekend because we were both bored and the weather seemed nice for a change. She, however, thought I was asking her out and replied "I'm flattered but I'm not ready to start dating again blah blah ...." I was thinking ... ermm .... I wasn't actually asking you out .... lol awkward!
    Haha I know what you mean. I once asked a guy for coffee because he'd been kind enough to reserve a DVD for me as he worked at HMV and it was especially difficult to get at the time. He started texting me later asking what that meant and constantly complimenting me. It didn't even occur to me he would think of it as anything other than a friendly coffee at the time, especially since he had a girlfriend. Weird...


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    She wants the D.
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    It depends on the situation, it does sound like it here though. You're not automatically betrothed when you go out on a date, just see what happens.

    (Original post by eliza.anne)
    Haha I know what you mean. I once asked a guy for coffee because he'd been kind enough to reserve a DVD for me as he worked at HMV and it was especially difficult to get at the time. He started texting me later asking what that meant and constantly complimenting me. It didn't even occur to me he would think of it as anything other than a friendly coffee at the time, especially since he had a girlfriend. Weird...


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    I think a lot of people assume that someone asking them out to spend time with them is romance related if they aren't already friends/know each other.
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    She may just want to meet up for a chat? I've done it with friends.
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    Haha I met a girl for a coffee a long time ago, and didn't consider it a date. I only realised afterwards that it was, and she took time in replying, only to say "I think we should be friends". I thought we were anyway!
    Short story, shorter, she stopped contacting me about a day later.
 
 
 
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