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How did I become 'that kind of girl?' .. Feel sick about myself Watch

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    I feel horrible, more than horrible. This guy who I liked at work, I had kissed him a while ago, and today was the day I had saw him after ages. We were quite close, but not too close. I had been taking a few steps to get over him already as I just knew nothing good would come of this. Such steps included things like: Jotting down all the things that weren't great about him and recognized how we wouldn't be compatible. But today, I saw him and I couldn't stop smiling.
    We were alone in the back of the store and kissed passionately, like last time, but I pulled away a couple of times and he kept pulling me towards him, but he did say 'this is bad'. I kind of felt uneasy, but I still wanted to just stay with him, but I still pulled away. Then he got a bit iffy and asked why (as in why was I pulling away and not kissing him).
    Then, he asked something, which I didn't fully hear but it sounded like I heard him say 'Is it cause I'm engaged'. But I didn't believe he could say that, because.. well I'd be a slut. Anyway, another guy came and we kind of drifted away.
    Later on, I asked him what he said, and he said 'I asked you was is cause I'm engaged?' I was shocked, I felt so dirty and cheap and disgusted within myself. He said he told me so many times before and that's why he was still shocked at what we'd done (I initiated some of the kisses). But I told him that I promised him that he never told me, and I would never ever do that if I knew he was engaged. However, he was adamant he told me, which made me feel more disgusted.
    I started panicking and tried to tell him that I honestly didn't know and I asked him did he think I was one of 'those girls', and he said no, I'm 100% not the type of girl to do that, I would never have gone near him, but he initiated the flirting and many, many other things. He never told me he was engaged.
    He then said to leave it, what's done is done and to move on. I don't know what to do. I'm gonna decrease contact with him, though I already hardly see him anyways. I was starting to like him a lot.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I started panicking and tried to tell him that I honestly didn't know and I asked him did he think I was one of 'those girls', and he said no, I'm 100% not the type of girl to do that, I would never have gone near him, but he initiated the flirting and many, many other things. He never told me he was engaged.
    Why are you concerned about the opinion of someone who cheats on their fiancee? You didn't know he was engaged and therefore you are not in the wrong. Forget and move on. And next time maybe think twice about having a sexual liaison with a colleague.
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    ^ Exactly. Don't be worried about what he thinks, he's not exactly on a moral high. What's done is done.

    You're going to feel terrible about yourself, naturally, but if you think that he didn't make it clear he was engaged and you know that you wouldn't have gone there if that was the case then seek solace in that and move on, don't let this lower your confidence/self esteem.
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    (Original post by Confusing_Chem)
    ^ Exactly. Don't be worried about what he thinks, he's not exactly on a moral high. What's done is done.

    You're going to feel terrible about yourself, naturally, but if you think that he didn't make it clear he was engaged and you know that you wouldn't have gone there if that was the case then seek solace in that and move on, don't let this lower your confidence/self esteem.

    (Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse)
    Why are you concerned about the opinion of someone who cheats on their fiancee? You didn't know he was engaged and therefore you are not in the wrong. Forget and move on. And next time maybe think twice about having a sexual liaison with a colleague.

    Hmm, thank you for the replies and advice. I guess I already knew this, I was just trying to maybe.. try and convince myself instead. I now know that he was in the wrong, this does sting, but I need to let it go.
 
 
 
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