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    Hey, I decided to post anonymously because, well just because. I have a bit of a relationship dilemma.. I have a long term boyfriend, we've been dating for about 2 years and this year I'm moving away to study while he stays and finishes up high school. I know he's crazy about me, as I am about him, however Im a bit more practical in that I know its never going to work next year because he is 100% not going to study/live anywhere near me, and I would see him at the most once every 6 months, and maybe not even then- for at least 4 years.

    Im waiting until after my exams to tell him I want to spend the summer with him and have an amazing time, but I would like to have a clean break when I go of to school. I want to make it clear, because I dont want to give false hope, which would be really cruel.
    He's much more sensitive than I, but the last thing i want is to make it harder for him than it already is. I have no idea how to express this, as well as when and where. I would really love some advice as this has been stressing me out for a few months now. Thank you
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    The longer you leave it, the worse it will be for the both of you. I would do it ASAP. However, make it clear to him that it's not anything he has done, because although you may not say it, he will blame himself.
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    I am curious as to why you would only be able to see one another at most every 6 months..

    But taking that as a given: I would wait until after exams, and then just say it like it is. I don't know how to advise you as you seem to have it covered: be clear, be consistent, try not to do anything to make it even harder.

    Although, speaking of making it harder - it may be that you can't have the summer together that you want. I think to be kind, you need to consider how that might affect him. He could be fine with the idea, or he could be too cut up about the inevitable break-up aspect to continue the relationship / or go into denial about the inevitable breakup. So don't expect anything and be careful not to string out the torment in that way if it is clear he can't accept it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey, I decided to post anonymously because, well just because. I have a bit of a relationship dilemma.. I have a long term boyfriend, we've been dating for about 2 years and this year I'm moving away to study while he stays and finishes up high school. I know he's crazy about me, as I am about him, however Im a bit more practical in that I know its never going to work next year because he is 100% not going to study/live anywhere near me, and I would see him at the most once every 6 months, and maybe not even then- for at least 4 years.

    Im waiting until after my exams to tell him I want to spend the summer with him and have an amazing time, but I would like to have a clean break when I go of to school. I want to make it clear, because I dont want to give false hope, which would be really cruel.
    He's much more sensitive than I, but the last thing i want is to make it harder for him than it already is. I have no idea how to express this, as well as when and where. I would really love some advice as this has been stressing me out for a few months now. Thank you
    If you want to break up with him then do it, don't say you want to spend the summer together and THEN break up. Thats just cruel.
    To give you some perspective, my housemate and her boyfriend (now fiance) have done long distance for 2/3 years. She lives in England, he lives in America. They see each other once a year, but skype like 3 nights a week. It is do-able, you don't HAVE to break up.
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    (Original post by Shelly_x)
    If you want to break up with him then do it, don't say you want to spend the summer together and THEN break up. Thats just cruel.
    To give you some perspective, my housemate and her boyfriend (now fiance) have done long distance for 2/3 years. She lives in England, he lives in America. They see each other once a year, but skype like 3 nights a week. It is do-able, you don't HAVE to break up.
    True, however that summer idea is because I know he loves me and would want to spend as much time together, and we've had so much fun in the summer before, so I thought it could be some sort of closure, like ending on good terms, saying goodbye at the end, but knowing the whole time what was coming. Of course if he doesn't want to I would understand, but shouldn't I give him the choice?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    True, however that summer idea is because I know he loves me and would want to spend as much time together, and we've had so much fun in the summer before, so I thought it could be some sort of closure, like ending on good terms, saying goodbye at the end, but knowing the whole time what was coming. Of course if he doesn't want to I would understand, but shouldn't I give him the choice?
    If you're as mad about him as you say (and vice versa) then you should at least give it a try. If the whole thing is meant to be then it'll work out and you'll find ways of coping with it, whether that be skype/facetime or whatever. The whole idea about spending the summer together with him knowing that you'll be sacking him off at the end of the holidays in my opinion would be a terrible thing to do. If you want to end it, you have to do it soon- otherwise just try the long distance and see how things go.
 
 
 
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