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I went to the doctors about depression last week, and he said I was fine. watch

    • #1
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    #1

    But I know I'm not, should I see a different doctor?

    I'm a 17 year old male, in High School, starting Uni in September.

    I neglected to tell him somethings, the biggest of which being the strong urge that I had to commit suicide months ago. But, I never did, I never felt it again for a long time, and I assume its normal to think like that once in a while, so I'm not thinking much of it.

    But since I saw him last week, it's just got worse. A few days ago I wrote a letter, which I've been adding to periodically. I don't remember what I write, and I only write when I'm having a bad turn, but reading it back it's rather disturbing, for example at one point I wrote "Someone please just stab me, it hurts too much now." I find this worrying, especially as I don't remember writing it. I've been particularly bad since yesterday, I've more or less spent the last 24 hours crying.

    It hurts a lot. I don't know if I'm actually depressed or just really lonely (even though I know I have people). The suicidal feelings in particular have came back, I really don't want to live anymore, although I'm doing a one more day routine to get through the day, I don't know how long this will last.

    My guidance teacher at school knows about my potential depression, and I'll see her tomorrow, but I don't know if I should tell her exactly how I'm feeling. When I originally went to the doctors and to see her I said: "I don't think I'm depressed. But my friends do." Thinking about it though, I'm probably in denial. I've done no work that I have to do for tomorrow, no studying for my exams, I'm probably going to bomb them. I have unconditionals for uni, so its not a big deal, but still...

    I look in the mirror, and when I see myself I get angry. I hate myself. Why is that freak me? Why did you turn out like this? My head feels so heavy and I'm so tired all the time, I just don't want to do anything. I just want to sleep for hours.

    This post is all a mess, sorry for the illogical flow of things.

    I just don't know what to do. I feel so alone, like I'm nothing - completely unwanted. I know I want to kill myself, but I'm just trying to see if I can get through each day at a time. I don't know if I should tell my guidance teacher this, or if I should make another appointment with a different doctor, or even if I'm just being a stupid melodramatic teenager. But it hurts a lot and I'm not sure how much I can take.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But I know I'm not, should I see a different doctor?

    I'm a 17 year old male, in High School, starting Uni in September.

    I neglected to tell him somethings, the biggest of which being the strong urge that I had to commit suicide months ago. But, I never did, I never felt it again for a long time, and I assume its normal to think like that once in a while, so I'm not thinking much of it.

    But since I saw him last week, it's just got worse. A few days ago I wrote a letter, which I've been adding to periodically. I don't remember what I write, and I only write when I'm having a bad turn, but reading it back it's rather disturbing, for example at one point I wrote "Someone please just stab me, it hurts too much now." I find this worrying, especially as I don't remember writing it. I've been particularly bad since yesterday, I've more or less spent the last 24 hours crying.

    It hurts a lot. I don't know if I'm actually depressed or just really lonely (even though I know I have people). The suicidal feelings in particular have came back, I really don't want to live anymore, although I'm doing a one more day routine to get through the day, I don't know how long this will last.

    My guidance teacher at school knows about my potential depression, and I'll see her tomorrow, but I don't know if I should tell her exactly how I'm feeling. When I originally went to the doctors and to see her I said: "I don't think I'm depressed. But my friends do." Thinking about it though, I'm probably in denial. I've done no work that I have to do for tomorrow, no studying for my exams, I'm probably going to bomb them. I have unconditionals for uni, so its not a big deal, but still...

    I look in the mirror, and when I see myself I get angry. I hate myself. Why is that freak me? Why did you turn out like this? My head feels so heavy and I'm so tired all the time, I just don't want to do anything. I just want to sleep for hours.

    This post is all a mess, sorry for the illogical flow of things.

    I just don't know what to do. I feel so alone, like I'm nothing - completely unwanted. I know I want to kill myself, but I'm just trying to see if I can get through each day at a time. I don't know if I should tell my guidance teacher this, or if I should make another appointment with a different doctor, or even if I'm just being a stupid melodramatic teenager. But it hurts a lot and I'm not sure how much I can take.
    Some doctors don't take depression seriously, he really should have done if you told him you'd been feeling suicidal. I'd make an appointment with a new one and show them the letter you've been working on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But I know I'm not, should I see a different doctor?

    I'm a 17 year old male, in High School, starting Uni in September.

    I neglected to tell him somethings, the biggest of which being the strong urge that I had to commit suicide months ago. But, I never did, I never felt it again for a long time, and I assume its normal to think like that once in a while, so I'm not thinking much of it.

    But since I saw him last week, it's just got worse. A few days ago I wrote a letter, which I've been adding to periodically. I don't remember what I write, and I only write when I'm having a bad turn, but reading it back it's rather disturbing, for example at one point I wrote "Someone please just stab me, it hurts too much now." I find this worrying, especially as I don't remember writing it. I've been particularly bad since yesterday, I've more or less spent the last 24 hours crying.

    It hurts a lot. I don't know if I'm actually depressed or just really lonely (even though I know I have people). The suicidal feelings in particular have came back, I really don't want to live anymore, although I'm doing a one more day routine to get through the day, I don't know how long this will last.

    My guidance teacher at school knows about my potential depression, and I'll see her tomorrow, but I don't know if I should tell her exactly how I'm feeling. When I originally went to the doctors and to see her I said: "I don't think I'm depressed. But my friends do." Thinking about it though, I'm probably in denial. I've done no work that I have to do for tomorrow, no studying for my exams, I'm probably going to bomb them. I have unconditionals for uni, so its not a big deal, but still...

    I look in the mirror, and when I see myself I get angry. I hate myself. Why is that freak me? Why did you turn out like this? My head feels so heavy and I'm so tired all the time, I just don't want to do anything. I just want to sleep for hours.

    This post is all a mess, sorry for the illogical flow of things.

    I just don't know what to do. I feel so alone, like I'm nothing - completely unwanted. I know I want to kill myself, but I'm just trying to see if I can get through each day at a time. I don't know if I should tell my guidance teacher this, or if I should make another appointment with a different doctor, or even if I'm just being a stupid melodramatic teenager. But it hurts a lot and I'm not sure how much I can take.
    Well, at first, I think unless you have other reasons to dislike this doctor, you can't exactly complain, althoug I know, some doctors are much more talented in detecting that there is more, than the patient is saying. As you haven't told him all and might have looked much more relaxed there than you are looking/feeling, might mean, you have to more persistant and show him more evidence. (Sounds hard and I know, you probably know, exactly how you feel and that any "Hei, look at it differently" may sound like "Come on... it is easy! for you.)

    As mental illnesses are not illnesses you can necessarily see from outside it is probably more difficult to diagnose them. You could take also a note from your guidance teacher for your next appointment? Maybe tale notes and write a letter, so that you don't forget any important detail? And ask him also what you can do in certain situations, that may make your case more obvious.

    Good Luck, wether you have depression or not, for your next appointment! (Wether it is the same, or a new one.)

    (Anyway, suicide and depression are not necessarily linked.)
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    If you brought up the issue of depression with him he should have had you complete a brief questionnaire to assess your levels of depression and anxiety. It takes about 5 minutes and is done right in front of him by multiple choice. When I was 16 I tried to get help for depression and a doctor said everything was "in my head" to go home, ensure i got enough sleep and that was it. My boyfriend convinced me to visit a different doctor who immediately got me to take the questionnaires and then because of my scores referred me for counselling and I was placed on medication. It all comes down to the doctor and how they choose to treat certain conditions. However, if you're ever unhappy with the treatment offered to you, do not feel bad in changing GP and asking for another opinion. Most recently I was told I was "expecting too much from the NHS" because i wanted to go back into counselling and also have my medication (I had moved town, just changed GP and was already on the meds - she expected me to stop cold turkey). I immediately switched GPs and no problems since! Take care and speak up.
    • #2
    #2

    Mental health issues are really difficult for doctors to diagnose, as you might expect - there are usually no external symptoms or anything that can be measured from a blood test or whatever, so they effectively have to go on what you tell them when making a diagnosis. That's why it's best to be completely open and honest with doctors in this kind of situation. And yes, different doctors may take different approaches so don't feel bad about asking for a second opinion, though I'd urge you include everything this time.

    For what it's worth, I'm in much the same situation as you - I'm really struggling with (diagnosed) depression that is making it really hard for me to revise for my exams - I spend far more time frozen up unable to do work than I do actually working. I'm convinced that I'm going to fail and get kicked out of uni, and I have absolutely no idea what I'd do if that did happen. I also write letters/notes on my phone/stuff like that when I'm in a state - once I even wrote a half decent (though desperately miserable) poem...

    But yes, for the time being I'd advise going back and asking to see a different doctor, and being entirely honest with them this time - suicidal feelings are not something you really want to leave out when discussing depression.
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    If you didn't tell him the full story, this may be why. It's important that you give him as much information as possible to go off. I'd suggest booking another appointment and taking your letter that you've been writing. If this gets you nowhere, then ask for a second opinion.

    Doctors are aware that there are many many people who think they "depressed" when they're not, and whilst trying to detect who these people are there are some who get sidelined who shouldn't be. So don't give up, keep pushing until you get the help you need .

    Also, there is a very good depression society on here, with lots of people to chat to. You might find this to be helpful .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I neglected to tell him somethings, the biggest of which being the strong urge that I had to commit suicide months ago. But, I never did, I never felt it again for a long time, and I assume its normal to think like that once in a while, so I'm not thinking much of it.
    Firstly I am so sorry that you felt like that and you felt like you weren't listened to. Its taken me going to my GP periodically for the last two years for him to pay attention and state that maybe this isn't situational. Secondly there is a difference between suicidal ideation and feeling actively suicidal. One is thinking and possibly feeling relief of not feeling the pain and being in that darkness. The other is a plan which you are going to do at some point. I would go back to your GP and lay it on thicker or if its easier see someone else. If you have a good relationship with your guidance teacher and its easier to tell her how hard you are finding things if you think she can do something about it. Things that they will want to know is whether you've been self harming, self neglect- so not looking after yourself, social isolation- not going out, sleep- just generally not functioning.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A few days ago I wrote a letter, which I've been adding to periodically. I don't remember what I write, and I only write when I'm having a bad turn, but reading it back it's rather disturbing, for example at one point I wrote "Someone please just stab me, it hurts too much now." I find this worrying, especially as I don't remember writing it. I've been particularly bad since yesterday, I've more or less spent the last 24 hours crying.
    *

    Writing how you are feeling can be really useful strategy of coping but I would be asking myself if its causing that much pain to reread it after you have got those feelings out, why reread it.

    It sounds very likely it could be depression and you're being melodramatic if things have got that desperate. I hope you get the support you deserve.
 
 
 
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