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Do you think your parents will contribute towards your wedding? How much? Watch

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    Hi I'm new so not sure if this is in the right place :/

    My boyfriend and I started hypothetically talking about getting engaged, marriage and weddings. I said I'd like a close and intimate wedding, and that way it would keep the costs down too. He explained that because all his grandparents had remarried and there were also steprelatives his families politics were very complicated and leaving anyone out would start a family war. We worked out how people this was, around 50. I worked out my family members are about 30 but probably not everyone will come as some live abroad. So if we just have 10 friends each, and that doesn't include their partners (or some partners and less friends) that will already be a 100
    people. Plus at my sisters wedding my parents invited 5 couples of their closest friends and I don't want to upset them, if his parents are the same that's 120 people to invite.

    I read somewhere that the average UK wedding is now £21,000 :O I worked out if 100 people came, and I skimped on a lot of stuff we could probably do it for £11,000 but no honeymoon lol. I am probably silly for worrying about this when we aren't even engaged, but if it's going to cost this much then it's better to start saving ahead.

    However, I don't know if we will foot the whole bill. Do you think your parents will help out? What about your future husband's parents?. It would be interesting if any engaged/married people on here could share what happened with their finances for the wedding. I also would like to know what people's views are in general Also, if parents contribute financially, are there usually strings attached? It would also be interesting to know if people plan on saving for a house deposit or a wedding first?
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    There's more to a relationship than a wedding.

    You could just have a simple wedding in the beginning, then save up enough money to have the wedding of your dreams on an anniversary.
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    My sister got married a few years ago and my parents footed the bill. She had around 60-80 people for the sit down meal and the majority of her friends/cousins etc came in the evening for the disco.

    Luckily my Mum is really good creatively and my Dad was good at being stingy (keeping down the bill and more money in his wallet!) My sister had her wedding at a really nice hotel with a rowing lake etc for pictures and that. Coming from an Irish-Catholic home someone done the cake, invites, someone done the flowers, a friend done the photography at a discounted rate, someone done the chair covers etc so that's how we kept the cost down.

    I think it came to 7-8 grand and that was about 6 years ago. My mum organised a canal boat party thing down the river for an hour or two and the release of doves too. She just brought everything online to cut costs but it looked amazing!

    People said it was better than my brother's and his cost 3x that amount! Sometimes smaller weddings are better as they're cozy and you'll have proper time to mingle with the guests. Have a disco in the evening and invite everyone!
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    The average price of a wedding is somewhere around £10,500 not £21,000. I dont think I will be paying much towards my wedding, Indian weddings can cost in excess of £100,000 split between both familys, my family would be footing around 30-40k and the brides family footing around 60-70k.
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    I think both of our parents would contribute a small amount but neither of them have much money so we're expecting to pay for most of the wedding ourselves.

    I know when my fiances brother got married his parents offered to pay for his suit so I expect something similar will happen if they have the money.

    Not sure about my parents as I'm the first to be getting married but perhaps they'll pay for my dress or the flowers or something.
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    (Original post by saturnsun)
    There's more to a relationship than a wedding.

    You could just have a simple wedding in the beginning, then save up enough money to have the wedding of your dreams on an anniversary.
    Just because I have questions on how you finance a wedding these days doesn't mean I don't understand there's more to a relationship than a wedding. I found that comment a bit insulting. Especially if you read my post, the thought of a big wedding just worries me and stresses me out. I'd much rather have a small intimate ceremony, but if it's important for all my boyfriends family to be there, then I want to work out how to make that possible as I don't want 'the wedding of your dreams' I want a day we are both happy with and won't leave us in debt.
    The problem with having a simple wedding for that many people, is a lot of venues charge per head. And certainly with food and drink, the more people you have to feed the more it's going to cost.
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    I have no idea if they will to be honest, my dad paid for his wedding by himself when he didn't even have the money!


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    They've pretty much paid for the whole of my brother's and sister's so I hope they will!
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    (Original post by Sally <3 Howl)
    I think both of our parents would contribute a small amount but neither of them have much money so we're expecting to pay for most of the wedding ourselves.

    I know when my fiances brother got married his parents offered to pay for his suit so I expect something similar will happen if they have the money.

    Not sure about my parents as I'm the first to be getting married but perhaps they'll pay for my dress or the flowers or something.
    So do you reckon parents these days pay in proportion to what they can afford?
    My parents are quite well off but I don't know if it'd be rude to ask subtlety in a hypothetical way what they are expecting.
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    I think traditionally the bride's parents should pay for the entire thing, but realistically I'm guessing my dad would foot the bill. He said he expected it to cost at least 20k, a couple of years ago.
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    (Original post by ed-)
    They've pretty much paid for the whole of my brother's and sister's so I hope they will!
    See I think my parents wanted to contribute more to my sisters wedding so it wouldn't be so... cheap... but my sister and her hubby wouldn't let them except for the catering because my parents had a fit when they found out they were planning on having like asda sausage rolls, and crisps. They said that relatives who made the effort to come from abroad atleast had to be fed properly. But knowing my parents they might then have the attitude of, your sister didn't want us to pay for her wedding, so you should pay for it yourself too - they like things to be equal between the siblings.
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    Yes they did, I wouldn't even like to even hazard a guess.
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    (Original post by saturnsun)
    There's more to a relationship than a wedding.
    it seems like it's a crime to want a fancy wedding day on TSR. Or a wedding at all in a lot of cases.
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    (Original post by *cellardoor*)
    So do you reckon parents these days pay in proportion to what they can afford?
    My parents are quite well off but I don't know if it'd be rude to ask subtlety in a hypothetical way what they are expecting.
    No, not necessarily. I think if they don't have much money then it's obvious that you shouldn't expect them to pay for the wedding but then if they do have a lot of money I think it's not something they're required to do. Personally I would wait until I was engaged and let them offer or not if they don't want to. I wouldn't ask them to contribute although maybe I'd feel different if my parents had lots of money

    I think its pretty common for people to pay for their own weddings rather than parents pay but its entirely down to what the couple and the parents agree on.
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    Woah these are really small weddings! I'd love to have a wedding with only 120 people, unfortunately in our culture (Bangladeshi) you have invite EVERYONE. Quite literally. Your mum's cousin's daughter's family? She's invited. Your Dad's colleagues and families? They're invited too. That old lady on your street you've been saying good morning to for the last decade? Yup she's going to be there too. My brother's wedding was 250 people (which cost 10k, but mind you we had the wedding in our house) - this is pretty tame in our culture. My sister had 500 guests (which cost about £40k plus like 10k on gifts/clothes/gold/mendhi) and my cousin had 900 guests! :eek: In all cases the parents on either side footed half of the bill, the groom and bride themselves contributed a couple of grand each.
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    I had a beautiful wedding in an old manor house and paid £5000 total including honeymoon it can be done cheap but nice if you're willing to sacrifice I had a beautiful wedding dress but was lucky I had a friend who was a photographer, some I knew made cakes, I had friend who decorated rooms and only charge £100 to decorate the tables and chairs. My family did a buffet, £200 of food and filled 4 banquet tables! Including salmon. Oh and everyone had a glass if pink cava too :-)

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    My parents didnt contribute to my wedding, and I didnt expect them too either.We had a small registry office wedding, drinks in a pub directly after ( everyone paid for their own drinks. Our reception was in a small country pub, and my mother in law knew the owner so we got the use of their back room,the function room and the skittle alley for free.The only thing we paid for was the wedding cake to be iced which was £60 I think.My wedding dress was from C&A and was around £30.

    A cheap wedding....and we are still together 17 years later
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    an indian wedding I went to had 1000+ people present in a massive hall! :O
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    I wouldn't want them to. I don't want a fancy wedding, I'd rather just do something we both enjoy like going away for a weekend or going for a night out. I've never seen the point in the whole big dress invite everyone we know party. It seems massively pointless.
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    Lol no, they're both disabled and have basically no money of their own. I don't think I'd ever ask even if they were rolling in it.
 
 
 
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