I don't really understand what's going on... just wanted to post this to see if anyone can understand what I'm feeling.
So, for a few months, I've just completely lacked all motivation to do my uni work. I can't see any point in it anymore, I feel like I'm going to fail it completely, and can't see myself getting any use out of uni, but at the same time, can't see how dropping out would be any better- I feel helpless and that either way, I'm not going to get very far in life. I came very close to dropping out but decided to stay on until at least the end of this year (second year). I sleep a lot, and some days it takes a lot of effort to make myself get up, and more recently, just want to spend more time on my own. On my recent family holiday, I actually chose to stay in on my own "to do some revision" rather than go out with them, some of whom I hadn't seen for 6 months and usually love spending time with. And I keep thinking of all the mistakes I've made in my life, all the time- ways in which I've embarassed myself, or haven't treated someone right.
In the last week or so, I've been thinking about whether it would really matter if I wasn't here, and think sometimes about how easy it would be just to end things- I see opportunities of how it could be done. I know I'd never actually do it though I've never had thoughts like these before.
Some days I'm fine, or maybe just experience one of the things I've mentioned in this, but other days, I feel rubbish and can't be bothered to make an effort with anything.
I don't know what I'm really expecting from this, just maybe someone who kind of understands.
Feeing weird lately Watch
- Thread Starter
- 14-04-2013 19:05
- 15-04-2013 05:08
Hey, I totally get how you feel. I'm sure no two people feel exactly the same way but I've got a good idea where you're coming from.
Have you been to your doctor? I know it can feel silly going to the doctor when you don't have a physical illness, but what you're describing are symptoms same as we have for the flu or a broken leg. The depression word is scary, and I think it gets thrown around too often these days but doctors are there for everything health related so whatever's going on, it's part of their job to help you understand it and hopefully get better. It could really help to just get some proper advice (I'm hardly qualified, haha). I went and I did a sort of questionnaire which helps them measure how you're feeling. Also! Doctors don't necessarily mean drugs either - that's almost always a last resort.
I also felt so much better when I told my mum how I was feeling. Do you have someone you can talk to? Most universities have a counselling service for exactly these type of things.
Finally, don't worry about grades and uni. I wouldn't recommend dropping out until you've got a good handle on how you're feeling. But don't worry about getting top grades, as you say; what's the point of it all? Whether there's a point to it or not doesn't matter. Keep calm about uni work, go to as many classes as you can, hand in assignments even if they're half-arsed. Keep plodding on and focus on getting healthy and happy.