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I am having the worst time of my life at uni help please Watch

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    I thought uni was going to be this amazing experience where I met lots of friendly open people. where I could be myself and not be judged and where I'd hopefully recieve help in fact its **** I hate it im going back next week and ive been crying myself to sleep everynight for the past 2 weeks about it, I feel sick even thinking about it.

    I am struggling at uni because :
    1) I was in a flat of 10 yet I was put in a flat with 8 foreign students, non of whom have any intention of mixing with the British people. Ive tried my hardest since i started in septmeber trying to talk to them, invite them out half the time they dont even acknowladge my existance or say hello to me, i dont even know the name of one girl as she wont talk to me
    2) The *****ing is horrendous, the only english girl in my flat who i thought was a friend became best friends with 3 girls from the flat below who couldnt make it any more obvious they dont like me, they laugh when i leave the room stop talking when i enter and just stare at me, when i try to say hello and ask how they are they pretend they didnt hear me. One called me fat (im only a size 10 but have struggled with eating problems for years) and they all take the mick out of how i look. They met my boyfriend when he came to stay once and the girls told there whole flat he was ugly and a horrible which resulted in the whole of her flat talking about my boyfriend is a nasty way which upset me
    3) my flatmates have parties till 5/6am outside my room, they eat all my food they literally ate over £30 worth of my food in a day, my things just go missing somebody smahsed my plates and just left them on the floor without saying anything
    4) My 2 friends who i am living with next n year, take the piss out of me constantly im all up for a good laugh but sometimes i find it really hurtful when they spend the whole night laughing about me not with me, they take the piss and mimick me and find it hilarious but i dont. They call me names pretending to be joking but sometimes it really hurts me like 'thick head' and 'stupid'
    5) Ive got chronic fatigue syndrome glandular fever and other health issues sometimes i cant even move it gets so bad and being so unhappy and stressed at uni only makes it worse
    6) Im doing a law degree which was the biggest mistake of my life I cant cope with the amount of work I have i cant do it i cant do the work its to hard i cant cope with the volume or work and when i told my uni i was ill nothing has changed.


    Im on the verge of dropping out i cant express how unhappy i am i use to be such a happy confident person but being at uni has made me doubt everything about who i am and i just cry constantly any help or advice would be great
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    Change lodgings? Why drop out of uni when your problem is where you live?
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    Law is a course which requires a lot of work/reading. Get used to it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I thought uni was going to be this amazing experience where I met lots of friendly open people. where I could be myself and not be judged and where I'd hopefully recieve help in fact its **** I hate it im going back next week and ive been crying myself to sleep everynight for the past 2 weeks about it, I feel sick even thinking about it.

    I am struggling at uni because :
    1) I was in a flat of 10 yet I was put in a flat with 8 foreign students, non of whom have any intention of mixing with the British people. Ive tried my hardest since i started in septmeber trying to talk to them, invite them out half the time they dont even acknowladge my existance or say hello to me, i dont even know the name of one girl as she wont talk to me
    2) The *****ing is horrendous, the only english girl in my flat who i thought was a friend became best friends with 3 girls from the flat below who couldnt make it any more obvious they dont like me, they laugh when i leave the room stop talking when i enter and just stare at me, when i try to say hello and ask how they are they pretend they didnt hear me. One called me fat (im only a size 10 but have struggled with eating problems for years) and they all take the mick out of how i look. They met my boyfriend when he came to stay once and the girls told there whole flat he was ugly and a horrible which resulted in the whole of her flat talking about my boyfriend is a nasty way which upset me
    3) my flatmates have parties till 5/6am outside my room, they eat all my food they literally ate over £30 worth of my food in a day, my things just go missing somebody smahsed my plates and just left them on the floor without saying anything
    4) My 2 friends who i am living with next n year, take the piss out of me constantly im all up for a good laugh but sometimes i find it really hurtful when they spend the whole night laughing about me not with me, they take the piss and mimick me and find it hilarious but i dont. They call me names pretending to be joking but sometimes it really hurts me like 'thick head' and 'stupid'
    5) Ive got chronic fatigue syndrome glandular fever and other health issues sometimes i cant even move it gets so bad and being so unhappy and stressed at uni only makes it worse
    6) Im doing a law degree which was the biggest mistake of my life I cant cope with the amount of work I have i cant do it i cant do the work its to hard i cant cope with the volume or work and when i told my uni i was ill nothing has changed.


    Im on the verge of dropping out i cant express how unhappy i am i use to be such a happy confident person but being at uni has made me doubt everything about who i am and i just cry constantly any help or advice would be great
    Surely there are Residential Support Advisers you can talk to?

    There's no point dropping out, you've made it this far. Besides, you're moving out next year. Why don't you tell the people you're moving in with how you feel and that you don't like it when they call you names? To be honest they don't sound very nice people anyway if they make you that...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by thecrimsonidol)
    Law is a course which requires a lot of work/reading. Get used to it.
    Im struggling because im dylexic and dyspraxic so dont just get concepts straight away plus I spent most of this term in hospital so have missed my lectures I just think im to stupid to do it as i thought i would have atleast slightly got to grips with it by now
    • #2
    #2

    Honestly, just move flats as soon as you can!

    I had issues in my old flat where my flatmates decided it was okay to treat me like **** purely because of the fact I'm Welsh...I went and saw residential services and got an instant transfer to my current flat, where I'm so much happier!
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    swap courses. find somewhere else to live.
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    You're obviously not stupid, as you got into university to study a competitive course. I'm sure that if you just move out, you'll be much happier as you'll be able to concentrate fully on your work rather than a group of bullies.
    Hope it gets better good luck!
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    It sounds really awful. You should let your course tutor know if you have not done so already. Can you move to different lodgings or transfer to another university?
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    That is a shame. All foreign and they dont want to mix AND they bully you. You have to try and switch accomodation asap.
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    (Original post by thecrimsonidol)
    Law is a course which requires a lot of work/reading. Get used to it.
    Constructive(!).

    OP, you're probably struggling with your degree so much because of the stress from your horrible flatmates. I know I would be. I really think this is something you should contact your uni about ASAP, seriously. There is absolutely nothing tolerable about your living conditions, from your description (okay, flat might look nice, but you know what I mean). Also, have you given your uni any form of documentation (like a doctor's letter) regarding your health problems? It's disgusting how they haven't given you any help despite your stay in hospital and existing conditions. I really, really hope things look up for you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Honestly, just move flats as soon as you can!

    I had issues in my old flat where my flatmates decided it was okay to treat me like **** purely because of the fact I'm Welsh...I went and saw residential services and got an instant transfer to my current flat, where I'm so much happier!
    Gosh that's horrid. I can't imagine that happening to any of the English students here in this part of Wales, considering we are probably the next big nationality after Welsh. All of the Welsh people I have met have been extremely lovely and respecting people.

    In regards to living arrangements, I didn't really get on with either flat at all last year, and there were times when it really got me down. I have dyspraxia too so I can completely sympathise with you OP. Things never got anywhere near as bad for me as they did for you, but there were times last year when I was deeply unhappy. However, this year, whilst we don't really have a lot in common, my housemates have been really lovely people to get to know from all different walks of life.
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    Find out how to get in contact with your uni's Student Support department. You should be getting all kinds of help with just the dyslexia and dyspraxia. They can also advise on how to deal with the issues raised by the CFS, hospital stay and other health problems. You should be able to get extensions for coursework and help with exams such as doing them in a smaller room and using a PC rather than having to handwrite them.

    Also, find your uni's counselling service and go and talk to them about your general problems. They may be able to advise on how to switch to better accommodation - if they can't, then they can tell you who will.

    Sympathies - your situation sounds very difficult and I'm not surprised you're struggling. But unless you ask your uni for help, they won't know that you need it.
    • #3
    #3

    There is no point trying to use your conditions as an excuse. Besides from that, I think you should just forget about trying to make friends and just put your head down and study hard. They seem like fake friends anyway, do you really think that after uni they would still stay in contact with you. If I was you, I would enter this **** everyone zone get my degree then enjoy life :cool:
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    I have nothing to add to what the others have said, would just be repeating their advice (just ignore "thecrimsonidol" though - not worth listening to if they're going to say stuff like that) but best of luck sorting everything out, I'm sure you will be able to fix things and enjoy next year more.
    *virtual hugs*
    xx
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    I'm so sorry you've been having such an awful time. Living in that kind of situation would be enough to make anyone miserable.

    Unfortunately students are still largely children and it sounds like you've been on the receiving end of some very cruel and childish behaviour. You do have to pick your friends very carefully at university - and it sounds like you've been very unlucky in those who have come your way. The people you describe are not your friends - they are bullies. You need to walk away from them, and fast. Have you joined any societies where you might meet some more like minded people? I was still making new friends in my third year through societies - it was a great way for me to meet people outside of my course/halls who I shared common interests with. If you do decide to stay on at university, this might be a good way forward. Also, if you stay on next year - absolutely do not live with the two friends you have described. Pull out of that arrangement now. They will make your lives miserable, trust me.

    There is absolutely no point in continuing with your degree if you don't enjoy the subject and are struggling to keep up with the workload. It will only get more difficult next year. You're not stupid - you've said it yourself - you've just had a lot of time off, and with a subject like Law, where you're learning a huge amount of factual information, it's very hard to catch up. The subject is clearly not right for you in your current circumstances and it takes a brave person to admit that. Plenty of people leave in the first year of university after finding their course or their university weren't right for them. It's not a sign of weakness or failure. You had no idea what a Law degree would be like before you started, and neither did you have much idea of what your university would be like. You have to make a lot of blind choices before you go to university and it's unsurprising that for some things don't work out the first time round.


    If I were you, I'd do the following:
    1. Withdraw now. Take some time out to get well, recover from this experience, and work out what's next for you.
    2. If you decide to go back to university, go to one near your parents so that you can live at home and commute in. Given your state of health, you will need more support than most students and I think you need to be realistic about this. Living somewhere where you feel safe and comfortable, can get a good night's sleep and be well fed (!) is paramount to good physical and emotional health. In the second year, you could move out with friends if you felt ready.

    Life is too short to spend any time being as unhappy as you currently are. Speak to your parents TONIGHT and tell them how you feel - together you can work out your next steps and you can start focusing on a more positive future. You don't HAVE to stay at university. You don't HAVE to get a degree. You are very young and I know it all seems very disastrous and awful at the moment, but leaving university really is not the end of the world. Trust me, I'm a teacher. Good luck.
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    That sounds terrible. I can't believe people at Uni can be as immature as your flatmates!

    If you're sure Law isn't right for you, there is no point carrying. The workload will only increase next year, and the year after. Have you thought about another course you would like to do? It looks like your options are either carrying on with with you degree, ask to start again next year, ask if you can switch to another course, or drop out and reapply to other universities for September entry.

    In regards to your accommodation problem, you only have a few moths left. If you choose to carry on at this uni, I would advice to put up with them for a bit. You could try moving your stuff from the kitchen into your own room. I know its not ideal, but you don't want the additional stress of finding somewhere to live for a few months, packing and moving! Is there somebody at the accommodation office you could speak to regarding the problems? They might be able to intervene.

    Also, have you already signed your contract for next year? Try and get out of it if you can. Those girls don't seem like someone you would want to live with. The student hub at my uni helps people find flatmates through a database. Find out if your uni does the same and find yourself some decent flatmates! Or you could explore the option of living alone. I know it would be expensive, but it might be worth it if you gets you peace and quiet, especially with your health problems.

    Whatever you decide to do, good luck!
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    Aww no that's such a horrible situation, sound like you've been really unlucky are you in university accommodation Sounds like you should move to be honest. It'd be really awkward moving out but it would be for the best. These people sound horrible If they don't like you, they should at least be polite about it. Honestly, people are suppose to be much more mature than this at university -.-. Also, Why are you living with people like you've described next year? They don't sound too great. Maybe they're joking and you're taking it to heart because of everything else that is going on? Have you told them of this situation? My flat mates call me a retard all the time Are they good friends in general and do you enjoy spending time with them? But I know I'm not. Hope stuff improves. Just get through the rest of the year. You can't have too much longer left. Good luck
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    You need to tell your two 'friends' to cut that **** out, maybe they don't realise they are being *****es or constantly putting you down, you can't just let yourself be a doormat.It's simple, just tell them they either stop or you'll stop being friends with them.
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    Ask to move floors/flats! which university is this? It sounds horrible
 
 
 
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