I used to be a happy/bubbly high schooler. I know many people hated their time in high school but I loved my school and the friends I had... until I moved away for university. I detest my university with every fibre of my being. I thought I'd grow to love it here but I miss my family, I miss my friends. I am now a second year student and I feel like I havn't made any lasting connections or good relationships with people here. At first I blamed other people but recently, I feel like I'm the one at fault. Why am I so socially retarded? Why am I so weird? Why does no one like me for who I am? :'(
I wake up in the morning feeling like there's this huge rock on my chest. My sleeping pattern is completely screwed up - I'd go to bed at 2 to 3 but can't get myself out of bed until 11 in the morning. Then I'd doze off and fall asleep again in the afternoon. It feels like I'm using sleep as a form of escape. I used to drink a lot of coffee but now, even if I drink a cup of relatively strong tea, I can't sleep in the evening. I find that I feel even more anxious when I do drink coffee. When I get anxious, my legs won't stop shaking, I try to work but my mind just goes *******. I thought I'd able to focus on my studies and get out of this university with a good degree. Academically, I am not doing as well as I want to. I feel like I've failed myself.
I did seriously consider switching to another university but I don't think that's a good idea given that I am already more than half way through my degree.
What should I do? I don't know what is happening.
I think something is wrong with me Watch
- Thread Starter
- 14-04-2013 23:04
- 15-04-2013 15:59
Hi, my name is Rob.
If the 'wrong with you' you are reffering to is that you are 'wierd', then there is nothing wrong with you. I'm as wierd as a toadstool but i'm lucky enough to have found friends whom may be considered 'wierd' themselves, and dont mind, even like, all my silly quirks. Be yourself and know there are people just as great as you are out there. Even still, just talk to people about whatever. I shouldnt exactly be giving out advice on how to make friends as i am a bit of a social retard, but hey, you can chat about anything and the convosation will either end, or move to a topic you are both intrested in
The jittering, lethargy etc may be caused by mental distress, or could be a sign of something else. Either way, the doctors are your friends, however I would stay clear of anti-depressents just because of the huge range of side effects they can have, but i know a few people whom the worked wonders for, but it's really down to you.
...and the tiredness, oh how i can relate. (I also used to use it as an escape). What I have found is to go to bed earlyer, personly, I aim for about 11.30 midweek. Set multiple alams at sertain times so you know you can have a lie in and still get up on time (so if you want to be up for 8, set an alarm for like 7.20, 7.45 then finally 8, you get to half wake up at the first alarm, look at the time and think "nah, f that, im goin to sleep for a bit more, its an ace feeling to time in a lie in), and id suggest a good breakfast and some OJ in the morning. Using caffiene to wake yourself up is kinda just a cycle which ends in you needing 2/3 cups before you can even leave the house (extreme case). I'm not saying no to coffee, but try to have it later in the day instead of first thing.
I really hope this helps, and obviously I'm no doctor or anything so I may be chatting *******s, I'm just speaking from experiance.
Oh, and most of all, It's not you, it's not them, there is just a loss of translation between minds, we are all beautiful and nobody should feel bad or be ashamed of who they are
Peace and love x
- 15-04-2013 23:19
I can relate to how you feel. I've felt the same way over the last 3 months and was disgnosed with depression a month ago. My advice would be to go to the doctors. I've been prescribed prozac and a small dose of valium to help me sleep. Prozac takers a while to kick in and I don't feel that different atm. However as soon as I went to the doctors I started to feel a little better, I think because I felt like I was starting to deal with the problem instead of just letting it get on top of me.
Just tell them how you feel and they'll help you either with therapy or medication. Also I would reccomend talking to someone about it (a councillor, a friend, family- whoever you feel comfortable with knowing). Even if you don't have depression you're clearly not feeling good and having someone there can make a real difference trust me.
If you want to ask me anything or just talk just let me know
I hope you feel better soon. Love xxx
- 15-04-2013 23:32
You have not failed. You are in a relatively early stage of your degree and you can make up for it.
Go to the universities' academic support facility and ask to see a counsellor -- there will be one attached to your uni who will probably be able to see you much faster than outside therapists. After that you'll get an intake appointment where it'll be decided if you require person-centred counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy. To me, the untrained layman, it sounds like you could benefit from the former -- exploring why you feel as though you do and doing root-cause analysis of stuff it's really hard to realise on your own. It certainly helped me.
As far as medication goes, I wouldn't recommend it. Valium is an excellent sleeping aid, but it's no replacement for actual alleviation of the underlying aetiology of your sleeplessness, not to mention the addiction potential. Prozac isn't too good either, as it tends to take a longer period (3-4 weeks) to see a noticeable change, and many people don't because of the acclimatising effect.