Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Ok as you can probably tell I have a bit of a problem. My mum is a typical Asian who believes that the only careers in the world (for vaguely intelligent people) are Doctor, some sort of scientist, arguably Banking, Lawyer in that descending order. Everything else she says is for "idiots" (rough translation).

    (Sorry if the following comes across as arrogant because I'm really not :/) I have always been clever and I have my GCSEs later this year. Now because I'm good at all my subjects, I am hoping for straight A*s with maybe a few As in some subjects- namely Physics and borderline for the other two sciences. As you might have inferred, my strength has always been in "humanities" and never sciences. When I tell my mum that I'm not as good at sciences than at other subjects she says stuff like why bother to go to sixth form? And that I'm going to do an "idiot's" degree and have a rubbish job like a "geography teacher" (true story) or writing in a newspaper.

    I didn't particularly want to take more than one science in sixth form but because of parental pressure I ended up choosing two (and that's the most I could choose because I'm doing IB- which I partly chose just to get out of the "Asian 4").

    If any of you are Asian you will understand that trying to dispute the view that there is more to the world than doctors and lawyers with a parent (or anything you disagree on for that matter) is automatically ignored and seen as "talking back" or being rude.

    So basically what I want to ask is what should I do? What should I say to her? I don't particularly have a career planned but I'm being pushed more and more towards medicine by my parents... You might just think that the Asian parent thing is a joke but for many, including me, it is the harsh reality. (Maybe a slight exaggeration but still relatively true)

    Any advice will help. Thanks
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok as you can probably tell I have a bit of a problem. My mum is a typical Asian who believes that the only careers in the world (for vaguely intelligent people) are Doctor, some sort of scientist, arguably Banking, Lawyer in that descending order. Everything else she says is for "idiots" (rough translation).

    (Sorry if the following comes across as arrogant because I'm really not :/) I have always been clever and I have my GCSEs later this year. Now because I'm good at all my subjects, I am hoping for straight A*s with maybe a few As in some subjects- namely Physics and borderline for the other two sciences. As you might have inferred, my strength has always been in "humanities" and never sciences. When I tell my mum that I'm not as good at sciences than at other subjects she says stuff like why bother to go to sixth form? And that I'm going to do an "idiot's" degree and have a rubbish job like a "geography teacher" (true story) or writing in a newspaper.

    I didn't particularly want to take more than one science in sixth form but because of parental pressure I ended up choosing two (and that's the most I could choose because I'm doing IB- which I partly chose just to get out of the "Asian 4").

    If any of you are Asian you will understand that trying to dispute the view that there is more to the world than doctors and lawyers with a parent (or anything you disagree on for that matter) is automatically ignored and seen as "talking back" or being rude.

    So basically what I want to ask is what should I do? What should I say to her? I don't particularly have a career planned but I'm being pushed more and more towards medicine by my parents... You might just think that the Asian parent thing is a joke but for many, including me, it is the harsh reality. (Maybe a slight exaggeration but still relatively true)

    Any advice will help. Thanks
    Hi there, I am Asian too and I was exactly in your situation some time between 2011 and 2012. Yes, that was really harsh- not being able to make own decisions and opinions voiced out got ignored completely. Was depressed to the extent that I hoped I have never existed...(Not trying to discourage you, but I just can't help typing)

    I was kind of pressurised to take up medicine which I didn't really want to. Attended a number of medical interviews, got a few offers. Anyhow, I ended up withdrawing after a week (I insisted) and subsequently reapplied for university. Now I'm in university doing a course which I am really interested in. Never before that I've felt this happy and fortunate. Going to the university and doing the course I'm currently doing is definitely the best ever decision throughout my life which I've made.

    Of course, parents were extremely disappointed at first (my father even cried - I know it's ridiculous..), but gradually they got over it and now they are fully supportive of what I am currently doing. Although I felt really really bad being rebellious and went against them in basically everything during that period, if this happens again, I will definitely do the same thing again. I will pursue what I like and what I dream of. Life is so short. I would advise to do what you feel is right, and what you really want deep down in your heart. Spare a second and do not let anyone influence your decision.

    Being a student in university, I would say that doing a degree which you do not like is DEFINITELY NOT going to be easy. Degree is no longer like GCSE or A-Levels - when it starts to go deep into a subject which you don't enjoy, imagine what will you feel. You will go insane, believe me. Even if you are intelligent and strong-will enough to endure it and graduate, do you think you like to spend your whole life doing something which essentially you do not like? Give it a thought. Medicine is a long journey and requires lots of dedication and hard work.

    I would still say, talk to your parents, because obviously that's the only way (I know it would not be pleasant experience, but sigh..). Try to talk to them about the potential advantages of doing the degree you like. If you really do not feel like doing medicine, you could 'unintentionally' include 'cons' of doing medicine in casual conversations with your parents.

    If you don't mind, could I know which part of Asia are you from? I do not know if any of the above makes any sense to you, but if you do need more erm..advice, I would be happy to help. Just pm me or quote me here.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 2504003889)
    Hi there, I am Asian too and I was exactly in your situation some time between 2011 and 2012. Yes, that was really harsh- not being able to make own decisions and opinions voiced out got ignored completely. Was depressed to the extent that I hoped I have never existed...(Not trying to discourage you, but I just can't help typing)

    I was kind of pressurised to take up medicine which I didn't really want to. Attended a number of medical interviews, got a few offers. Anyhow, I ended up withdrawing after a week (I insisted) and subsequently reapplied for university. Now I'm in university doing a course which I am really interested in. Never before that I've felt this happy and fortunate. Going to the university and doing the course I'm currently doing is definitely the best ever decision throughout my life which I've made.

    Of course, parents were extremely disappointed at first (my father even cried - I know it's ridiculous..), but gradually they got over it and now they are fully supportive of what I am currently doing. Although I felt really really bad being rebellious and went against them in basically everything during that period, if this happens again, I will definitely do the same thing again. I will pursue what I like and what I dream of. Life is so short. I would advise to do what you feel is right, and what you really want deep down in your heart. Spare a second and do not let anyone influence your decision.

    Being a student in university, I would say that doing a degree which you do not like is DEFINITELY NOT going to be easy. Degree is no longer like GCSE or A-Levels - when it starts to go deep into a subject which you don't enjoy, imagine what will you feel. You will go insane, believe me. Even if you are intelligent and strong-will enough to endure it and graduate, do you think you like to spend your whole life doing something which essentially you do not like? Give it a thought. Medicine is a long journey and requires lots of dedication and hard work.

    I would still say, talk to your parents, because obviously that's the only way (I know it would not be pleasant experience, but sigh..). Try to talk to them about the potential advantages of doing the degree you like. If you really do not feel like doing medicine, you could 'unintentionally' include 'cons' of doing medicine in casual conversations with your parents.

    If you don't mind, could I know which part of Asia are you from? I do not know if any of the above makes any sense to you, but if you do need more erm..advice, I would be happy to help. Just pm me or quote me here.
    Thanks very much for this. Really. It genuinely is helpful.
    I'm from Pakistan.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    What course do you do now? I'm guessing something creative
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Convince them that you can still get far in life without becoming a rocket-scientist or doctor. Give them examples of famous journalists, tv personalities, historians, authors etc who've gone far in life. If you show them confidence and responsibility, they'll hopefully see things your way. You're more likely to fail in life if you're forced to do something you don't want to do.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by *mMmMm*)
    What course do you do now? I'm guessing something creative
    Like I said, still in my final year of GCSEs and doing IB next year; choices are Biology, Chemistry and French at Higher Level and Maths, English Literature and Geography at Standard Level. I've been thinking about something like PPE at university but that doesn't rule out a science degree completely- it's just that I don't want to be forced into a career I know I don't want and won't enjoy and I know that I definitely do NOT want to be a doctor. I don't dislike any science, I just find them more difficult than other subjects, it's just the way my brain works.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok as you can probably tell I have a bit of a problem. My mum is a typical Asian who believes that the only careers in the world (for vaguely intelligent people) are Doctor, some sort of scientist, arguably Banking, Lawyer in that descending order. Everything else she says is for "idiots" (rough translation).

    (Sorry if the following comes across as arrogant because I'm really not :/) I have always been clever and I have my GCSEs later this year. Now because I'm good at all my subjects, I am hoping for straight A*s with maybe a few As in some subjects- namely Physics and borderline for the other two sciences. As you might have inferred, my strength has always been in "humanities" and never sciences. When I tell my mum that I'm not as good at sciences than at other subjects she says stuff like why bother to go to sixth form? And that I'm going to do an "idiot's" degree and have a rubbish job like a "geography teacher" (true story) or writing in a newspaper.

    I didn't particularly want to take more than one science in sixth form but because of parental pressure I ended up choosing two (and that's the most I could choose because I'm doing IB- which I partly chose just to get out of the "Asian 4").

    If any of you are Asian you will understand that trying to dispute the view that there is more to the world than doctors and lawyers with a parent (or anything you disagree on for that matter) is automatically ignored and seen as "talking back" or being rude.

    So basically what I want to ask is what should I do? What should I say to her? I don't particularly have a career planned but I'm being pushed more and more towards medicine by my parents... You might just think that the Asian parent thing is a joke but for many, including me, it is the harsh reality. (Maybe a slight exaggeration but still relatively true)

    Any advice will help. Thanks
    Totally get you, I'm a pak too and sciences aren't exactly my forte! I kind of got out of doing the classic Asian bio-chem combo as my GCSEs really showed my mum that my strengths lie with humanities. She was disappointed at first but she got over it. Its important you explain to your mum you're more likely to do well in something you enjoy rather than something you have to do for 'her honour'. As much as we're told not to 'talk back' sometimes you have to, ultimately, she only wants the best for you and you know what's best x

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Im Asian too and your mum is exactly like mine so I don't really know how to help. However, my mum did tell me years ago to work in schools/playgroups and I never listened to her. I went and did my own thing and took a Business course, passed it, and haven't been able to find a permanent job. Whilst completing the BTEC Business course, I became interested in Marketing/Advertising and decided to pursue a career within that sector so completed internships. However, after leaving college I haven't been able to find a proper full time job. I tried applying to agencies as well but they never reply back. I regret not listening to my mum now and should've gone with Childcare and now can't find work.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok as you can probably tell I have a bit of a problem. My mum is a typical Asian who believes that the only careers in the world (for vaguely intelligent people) are Doctor, some sort of scientist, arguably Banking, Lawyer in that descending order. Everything else she says is for "idiots" (rough translation).

    (Sorry if the following comes across as arrogant because I'm really not :/) I have always been clever and I have my GCSEs later this year. Now because I'm good at all my subjects, I am hoping for straight A*s with maybe a few As in some subjects- namely Physics and borderline for the other two sciences. As you might have inferred, my strength has always been in "humanities" and never sciences. When I tell my mum that I'm not as good at sciences than at other subjects she says stuff like why bother to go to sixth form? And that I'm going to do an "idiot's" degree and have a rubbish job like a "geography teacher" (true story) or writing in a newspaper.

    I didn't particularly want to take more than one science in sixth form but because of parental pressure I ended up choosing two (and that's the most I could choose because I'm doing IB- which I partly chose just to get out of the "Asian 4").

    If any of you are Asian you will understand that trying to dispute the view that there is more to the world than doctors and lawyers with a parent (or anything you disagree on for that matter) is automatically ignored and seen as "talking back" or being rude.

    So basically what I want to ask is what should I do? What should I say to her? I don't particularly have a career planned but I'm being pushed more and more towards medicine by my parents... You might just think that the Asian parent thing is a joke but for many, including me, it is the harsh reality. (Maybe a slight exaggeration but still relatively true)

    Any advice will help. Thanks
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks very much for this. Really. It genuinely is helpful.
    I'm from Pakistan.
    You're welcome I came across someone's blog about a similar dilemma he had before he went through all the hassles with his parents and settle down in university doing a course he enjoys. I could send you the link of his blog if you are interested.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Do PPE at Oxford or Cambridge. This should make up part of the issue
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 2504003889)
    You're welcome I came across someone's blog about a similar dilemma he had before he went through all the hassles with his parents and settle down in university doing a course he enjoys. I could send you the link of his blog if you are interested.
    Yes please, just post the link here. I'm interested in seeing how other people have made it through similar issues!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 2504003889)
    You're welcome I came across someone's blog about a similar dilemma he had before he went through all the hassles with his parents and settle down in university doing a course he enjoys. I could send you the link of his blog if you are interested.
    Intrigued. Hoping for lulz
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes please, just post the link here. I'm interested in seeing how other people have made it through similar issues!
    (Original post by *mMmMm*)
    Intrigued. Hoping for lulz
    I am not sure if it's a good idea to post the link here, since it's not the blog of someone I really know..but since the author made it public, I guess he won't mind? Let's hope so. :rolleyes:

    Here it is, he is from Malaysia so some of the terms he used might or might not be familiar to you. If you need clarifications on the terms give me a shout

    http://whatsinthebinn.blogspot.co.uk...et-or-med.html

    Click on the link and you'll find a section 'Vet Med Dilemma' on your right. Those are the posts he has written to share his experiences. Hope that helps.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 20, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
    Useful resources
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.