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Would it be creepy to ask this girl out? Watch

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    I met a girl yesterday that I'd coincidentally sat next to in the library way back in January but i was too anxious and shame-filled to even say hi even though she was staring and smiling at me. Four months later, she appears in my kitchen. It turns out that she is friends with my flatmate and they know each other through church. I genuinely was shocked to find her in my kitchen and i thought it was fate or something.
    I was feeling really shy and nervous and the girl kept staring at me and smiling with really big. brown doe eyes.
    I managed to say hi and introduce myself. It turns out that she's doing her AS levels which would make her 17 and i turn 22 in the summer. Is that too big an age difference for it to be seen as creepy/predatory?
    Since she's Christian I'm not sure how it would go down, but the one thing that makes me wanna try is how she kept staring at me. It made me feel good yet also nervous at the same time.
    If i asked my flatmate for her number and whether she's single, would i be seen as a predatory pervert for hitting on a younger girl? I've never been in a relationship or had sex and i'm not really looking for a quick hump and dump. I'd just like a nice girl i can talk to and be close with.

    What do you think?
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    Hmmm, I don't think most people would have a problem if she was 18, but because she's not an adult, and you are, there could be a problem. I think it would only be creepy to certain people, but the only way you'll find out is if you speak to her about it. Test the water gently, but don't let an opportunity like this go amiss.

    Tom
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Keep anon or delete plz

    I met a girl yesterday that I'd coincidentally sat next to in the library way back in January but i was too anxious and shame-filled to even say hi even though she was staring and smiling at me. Four months later, she appears in my kitchen. It turns out that she is friends with my flatmate and they know each other through church. I genuinely was shocked to find her in my kitchen and i thought it was fate or something.
    I was feeling really shy and nervous and the girl kept staring at me and smiling with really big. brown doe eyes.
    I managed to say hi and introduce myself. It turns out that she's doing her AS levels which would make her 17 and i turn 22 in the summer. Is that too big an age difference for it to be seen as creepy/predatory?
    Since she's Christian I'm not sure how it would go down, but the one thing that makes me wanna try is how she kept staring at me. It made me feel good yet also nervous at the same time.
    If i asked my flatmate for her number and whether she's single, would i be seen as a predatory pervert for hitting on a younger girl? I've never been in a relationship or had sex and i'm not really looking for a quick hump and dump. I'd just like a nice girl i can talk to and be close with.

    What do you think?
    The age gap in itself isn't necessarily creepy, but I think you should be careful how you go about it. For instance, getting her number from someone else is a bit weird and doesn't give her the option of saying no if she's not interested. If she's a friend of your flatmate you're probably going to see her again, so you should probably try to just spend some more time together so that you can actually get to know her (correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you've only seen her twice and spoken to her once) and let things develop naturally from there. You could also add her on Facebook. Just take things slowly and see how she responds.
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    i was 16 and went with an 18 year old and that was a 2 year gap difference, and everyones disaproved of it, but i suppose once over 16 age is just a number! So yeah go for it, don't let this oppertunity go a miss!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Keep anon or delete plz

    I met a girl yesterday that I'd coincidentally sat next to in the library way back in January but i was too anxious and shame-filled to even say hi even though she was staring and smiling at me. Four months later, she appears in my kitchen. It turns out that she is friends with my flatmate and they know each other through church. I genuinely was shocked to find her in my kitchen and i thought it was fate or something.
    I was feeling really shy and nervous and the girl kept staring at me and smiling with really big. brown doe eyes.
    I managed to say hi and introduce myself. It turns out that she's doing her AS levels which would make her 17 and i turn 22 in the summer. Is that too big an age difference for it to be seen as creepy/predatory?
    Since she's Christian I'm not sure how it would go down, but the one thing that makes me wanna try is how she kept staring at me. It made me feel good yet also nervous at the same time.
    If i asked my flatmate for her number and whether she's single, would i be seen as a predatory pervert for hitting on a younger girl? I've never been in a relationship or had sex and i'm not really looking for a quick hump and dump. I'd just like a nice girl i can talk to and be close with.

    What do you think?
    Hit http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...gJhcPMN5ceh-Kw

    For your age 17 is fine. I think asking your friend for her number and calling her up out of the blue may come across a little too forward/coming on strong. Add her on facebook and talk to her for a bit on that...if she's interested in talking with you, then ask for her number/make plans to meet up for a date.
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    (Original post by MAINE.)
    Hit http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...gJhcPMN5ceh-Kw

    For your age 17 is fine. I think asking your friend for her number and calling her up out of the blue may come across a little too forward/coming on strong. Add her on facebook and talk to her for a bit on that...if she's interested in talking with you, then ask for her number/make plans to meet up for a date.
    How would i even go about getting her Facebook without asking my flatmate for it?


    (Original post by whatsername2009)
    The age gap in itself isn't necessarily creepy, but I think you should be careful how you go about it. For instance, getting her number from someone else is a bit weird and doesn't give her the option of saying no if she's not interested. If she's a friend of your flatmate you're probably going to see her again, so you should probably try to just spend some more time together so that you can actually get to know her (correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you've only seen her twice and spoken to her once) and let things develop naturally from there. You could also add her on Facebook. Just take things slowly and see how she responds.
    Yes that is exactly correct, although i'm not sure when i'll see her again, if ever. Calling her out of the blue is too forward and i wouldn't do that even if i had her number.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How would i even go about getting her Facebook without asking my flatmate for it?
    I was saying you should contact her on facebook first (if you need to ask your friend to link you to her profile then fine), strike up a conversation with her, and if she responds positively then you ask her for her number and try and set up a date.
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    Why not try and just become friends with her first? People say the best relationships are built on solid relationships! It wouldn't seem as creepy then as loads of 17 year olds have friends who are in their twenties.
    Then if you still have feelings for her later, I don't think it is too big an age gap at all. She'll realise you're just a nice guy looking for a nice girl
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    (Original post by Jodie_668)
    Why not try and just become friends with her first? People say the best relationships are built on solid relationships! It wouldn't seem as creepy then as loads of 17 year olds have friends who are in their twenties.
    Then if you still have feelings for her later, I don't think it is too big an age gap at all. She'll realise you're just a nice guy looking for a nice girl
    I've added her on Facebook and i see her checking me out whenever i bump into her. How do i ask her for her number and to hang out?

    I've got exams right now so hanging out will be after my exams. What can i do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've added her on Facebook and i see her checking me out whenever i bump into her. How do i ask her for her number and to hang out?

    I've got exams right now so hanging out will be after my exams. What can i do?
    You could start up a conversation on facebook. You could ask if she has any exams coming up too or just ask what she has been up to lately and build a conversation based on her response. Then you could ask her if after exams, whether she would like to catch a film with you or something. Maybe if you talk to her about the film or whatever beforehand, it will feel more natural and easy for you to ask her to go with you.
    Or hanging out with her right now doesn't have to take too much time away from your exams. If you can, next time she bumps into you just say hi and start up and conversation. Then you ask if she wants to meet up for lunch with you for the next day.
    I hope this helps and good luck!!
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    (Original post by Jodie_668)
    You could start up a conversation on facebook. You could ask if she has any exams coming up too or just ask what she has been up to lately and build a conversation based on her response. Then you could ask her if after exams, whether she would like to catch a film with you or something. Maybe if you talk to her about the film or whatever beforehand, it will feel more natural and easy for you to ask her to go with you.
    Or hanging out with her right now doesn't have to take too much time away from your exams. If you can, next time she bumps into you just say hi and start up and conversation. Then you ask if she wants to meet up for lunch with you for the next day.
    I hope this helps and good luck!!
    I bumped into her in the library yesterday and we talked a little and i got her number. How do i progress things now? I haven't called her or texted her yet. I'll be busy this week as i have exams so it'll have to be next weekend.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I bumped into her in the library yesterday and we talked a little and i got her number. How do i progress things now? I haven't called her or texted her yet. I'll be busy this week as i have exams so it'll have to be next weekend.
    I wouldn't leave contacting her at all till next weekend, that's too far away. Maybe tomorrow or the day after just text her and have a text conversation with her. If you can, try and discuss things like your favourite movies, music, places to visit to find common interests. Then I think it would be good for a couple of days after to ask her if she wants to go somewhere based on the common interest you were discussing (like if you find out you both like action movies for example, you could ask her if she wants to see Iron Man 3 with you).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I bumped into her in the library yesterday and we talked a little and i got her number. How do i progress things now? I haven't called her or texted her yet. I'll be busy this week as i have exams so it'll have to be next weekend.
    Start by dropping her a text, then maybe suggest going out somewhere even if it is just for a coffee or the cinema and get to know each other more.
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    Age gap is not bad at all, but you should get to know her and see if she would even consider it because many people would disagree.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Start by dropping her a text, then maybe suggest going out somewhere even if it is just for a coffee or the cinema and get to know each other more.
    (Original post by Jodie_668)
    I wouldn't leave contacting her at all till next weekend, that's too far away. Maybe tomorrow or the day after just text her and have a text conversation with her. If you can, try and discuss things like your favourite movies, music, places to visit to find common interests. Then I think it would be good for a couple of days after to ask her if she wants to go somewhere based on the common interest you were discussing (like if you find out you both like action movies for example, you could ask her if she wants to see Iron Man 3 with you).
    I dropped her a text last weekend asking her what she'd been up to and said that the just went to a BBQ. I haven't seen or spoken to her since then as i've been busy and stressed with exams. I don't really wanna ask her out by text and i'm a little scared of phoning her up and asking her out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I dropped her a text last weekend asking her what she'd been up to and said that the just went to a BBQ. I haven't seen or spoken to her since then as i've been busy and stressed with exams. I don't really wanna ask her out by text and i'm a little scared of phoning her up and asking her out.
    I know that its pretty nerve-racking, but just phone her up! I'm sure she'll appreciate the fact that you've taken the time to talk to her rather than just text her. And the worst that can happen it that she won't be able to go. If you plan out the things you want to say to her beforehand, then it will make you a lot less nervous to call her up.
    Just go for it, phone her up and ask her is she wants to go out somewhere with you!
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    (Original post by Jodie_668)
    I know that its pretty nerve-racking, but just phone her up! I'm sure she'll appreciate the fact that you've taken the time to talk to her rather than just text her. And the worst that can happen it that she won't be able to go. If you plan out the things you want to say to her beforehand, then it will make you a lot less nervous to call her up.
    Just go for it, phone her up and ask her is she wants to go out somewhere with you!
    Hi, so i phoned her up and she didn't recognise me and said that her phone has been a bit weird lately. Could she have deleted me?
    Anyway she said that she's going to her sister's wedding so we cant hang out this weekend and she won't be back until the 30th.
    She hung up quickly after that.

    Regardless of what happens, i'm glad i went for it so it's just a matter of waiting to see what happens. It was a bit nerve racking but not that bad.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, so i phoned her up and she didn't recognise me and said that her phone has been a bit weird lately. Could she have deleted me?
    Anyway she said that she's going to her sister's wedding so we cant hang out this weekend and she won't be back until the 30th.
    She hung up quickly after that.

    Regardless of what happens, i'm glad i went for it so it's just a matter of waiting to see what happens. It was a bit nerve racking but not that bad.
    Hey You'll just have to believe her when she says that her phone is playing help else dwelling on whether or not she deleted you will just make you feel more nervous next time you speak to her. These things do happen as technology definitely isn't the most reliable thing in the world!
    I'm glad that you phoned her up, most people would get too scared. I think maybe if you leave it a bit now and text her or call her and few days after she has come back else you may seem too keen
 
 
 
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