Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I've recently started to notice that my boyfriend of 1 year is starting to show signs of jealousy to some of my male friends. My friends are very important to me and I don't see why I should have to sacrifice my friendship or how much I talk with them just to make him less jealous about it. He knew from the start and I made it perfectly clear I tend to have more male friends than female friends and that I am close with some of them.

    He keeps saying he isn't jealous but if he knows I am talking to some of them he will start replying cold to me and act sad about it, I dont think he will admit it. The problem is he is mentioning it indirectly almost daily now, asking what I am doing apart from chatting to guys etc and it is starting to annoy me. The worst thing is he spoke to one of my male friends and got his number off him for whatsapp/bbm but then made out as if my male friend gave it to him. I can't stand if he's just using that information to stalk who I am talking to and when. For now it hasn't annoyed me that much but do you think this is just going to get worse?

    Any thoughts would be appreciated, thanks.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Ask him what his problem is. I have male friends, my boyfriend has female friends, we're both mature enough to understand that talking to the opposite sex doesnt always mean you want to bang them.

    You need to make it clear that he's your boyfriend for a reason, and if you wanted to be going out with someone else, you would, but you don't, so you're not.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Do you think he may be trying to become possessive over me, jealous of the fact that I talk to other guys? i have had the same issue with my ex's who ended up trying to control everything i did or who i spoke with and how close we were
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Out of curiousity, does he have a fair few females friends and are you comfortable with him being close to one or two of them?

    I'm always at a loss which way this argument should go. On one hand, your boyfriend should be more trusting, understand you can have male friends and realise nothing is going to happen because of that. If you've been together for a year, he should know you well enough by now and not get paranoid over little things like this.

    However, on the other hand, we boys know what other guys are like. Yes, they can be very good friends, but that doesn't mean they will never cross the line. You may not cross that line and stay honest to your bf, but often what worries us is the other person involved, not our gf. With my ex, I was never really worried she would fool around with anyone, but I'll be honest, sometimes it was intimidating when she's with 3 of her close male friends. I didn't become possessive or anything but just worried over what they may try on her. That sounds a bit stupid I know. I sort of wish/thought that the girl can be a bit more understanding - I'm not saying cut them out of your life because thats wrong and friends are important. But maybe simple things like talking about them far less to your bf can help him out.

    Again, as I say, I'm at a loss which way this should work. Should the gf be more understanding or the bf? Dunno!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    He has female friends and I have no issues with that whatsoever. The problem is some of my friends I have been close with for over 5 years and I trust them with everything, whereas i have been with my bf for 1 year, it's not like he can expect me to just change my friendship with people surely? these people have been there for me when times have been rough and they are always there for me, i think he did not really understand at first how close i am with some of my guy friends but perhaps now he is?

    Edit: i never tell my bf or anyone else for that matter things about my friends and their private lives as i find that really sad since they trust me and i trust them
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by superduper9)
    Out of curiousity, does he have a fair few females friends and are you comfortable with him being close to one or two of them?

    I'm always at a loss which way this argument should go. On one hand, your boyfriend should be more trusting, understand you can have male friends and realise nothing is going to happen because of that. If you've been together for a year, he should know you well enough by now and not get paranoid over little things like this.

    However, on the other hand, we boys know what other guys are like. Yes, they can be very good friends, but that doesn't mean they will never cross the line. You may not cross that line and stay honest to your bf, but often what worries us is the other person involved, not our gf. With my ex, I was never really worried she would fool around with anyone, but I'll be honest, sometimes it was intimidating when she's with 3 of her close male friends. I didn't become possessive or anything but just worried over what they may try on her. That sounds a bit stupid I know. I sort of wish/thought that the girl can be a bit more understanding - I'm not saying cut them out of your life because thats wrong and friends are important. But maybe simple things like talking about them far less to your bf can help him out.

    Again, as I say, I'm at a loss which way this should work. Should the gf be more understanding or the bf? Dunno!
    So what? If any bloke tries it on with me while knowing I have a boyfriend he'll get a sarky comment and if he continues, a slap. I've had girls try to flirt with my boyfriend right in front of me, he doesn't reciprocate so I don't care. I don't see why someone else flirting with them would bother you. I mean it's disrespectful and rude but people are dicks you just have to accept that... :dontknow:
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    http://static.someecards.com/someeca...k2NTUyY2Y3.png
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Wow. Overly attached boyfriend, maybe?
    You ought to discuss it with him. If he overreacts then there's something wrong with his paradigm (as long as you're not suspicious to him).
    My boyfriend may be overly attached when it comes to intimate moments, but he doesn't mind me going to my guy friends' houses to play games and stuff. Most of his friends are girls so there's some understanding

    Hopefully your problem will be sorted out!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Being jealous in an established relationship is pointless. If he can't deal with your having opposite sex friends then he's not worth it.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 15, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.