Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

My friends are changing and it's not for the better watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    It's hard to explain how I feel really. There are two girls I live with and we are in our final year at uni. There is also one other girl that lives with us.

    These two girls are much closer to each other than they are to anyone else and spend a lot of time together. They are just not the down-to-earth girls I used to know. They have become really into themselves, like the way they look, act, the shops they will shop at, the things they tweet and the attention they get. They have suddenly become worried about what other people think. I know that this is no terrible thing, but it is when you are worried that people won't like you for who you are.

    I feel comfortable with who I have become at university. I've gotten to know loads of great people, I'm happy with the way I look and if people don't like me then that's fine. But I just don't know why my friends have suddenly gone in the opposite direction and become really insecure. It's only times like when we are home in the evening with pyjamas on, eating ice cream whilst watching a film or something that the real them will come back.

    Anyone ever felt similar?
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Yes I've felt similar, and people have talked to me about similar situations as well. This happens to so many people it's unreal! I think everyone goes through at least a stage of feeling self-conscious, but those who never do are so lucky! To an extent it's a good thing even if you don't see it that way because people who don't care can become really unhealthily overweight because they really don't care what others think. Let them get on with it. To be honest I'm surprised they didn't go through the phase earlier in life.

    As long as you're not feeling a distance between you and them that wasn't there before then let it happen. If you are then I suggest you put up with it until the end of Uni and then find some new friends. It might be an idea to point them in the right direction sometimes though if they are likely to get themselves into a dangerous situation because of it, such as doing drugs or crime of some sort.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    So they watch too much Made in Chelsea. I'm sure it won't last.

    And if it does, people change, it's a fact of life.
    • #2
    #2

    ahhh glad i found this thread because i was gonna make a thread venting about how my friends have changed. they used to be so down to earth and caring and now they wouldnt even give you the time of day, i could be sitting having a conversation with one of them and theyll literally turn away in the middle of the conversation. im finding it hard to get to the point where i jus dont care and it doesnt annoy me anymore
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Aw I was thinking about this the other day when I came across an old friend's facebook although to be fair, we were younger at the time and these things happen.

    We met at a holiday club when we were 9 or 10 and kept in contact via email and phone calls. We then ended up at the same secondary school although we were in different form groups and didn't share classes. When I fell out with my friendship group in my form and had no friends and was being bullied, she was there for me and came with me to talk to my head of year and she introduced me to her friends who are still my best friends now, 8/9 years later.
    In Year 10, she suddenly changed. She suddenly changed her dress sense and music tastes and stopped talking to my group of friends and me so she could hang out with a 'cooler' group. I invited her to my birthday party and she never turned up without even offering an explanation.
    What I found strange is that when she changed her music taste and dress sense, she actually became more like me and started liking the music I liked that she had previously made fun of yet she still cut me out.
    She wouldn't even accept me on facebook yet she accepted another one of our friends that she had actively fallen out with whereas me and her had never argued, she just stopped talking to me.
    Then she left our school to go somewhere else for A Level and I've not seen her since.

    Someone else I went to school with tagged her in a picture on facebook the other day so she came up on my feed and it made me sad because I hadn't thought about her in a few years and I'd forgotten that for a good 5 years or so, she was my best friend and she is responsible for the amazing best friends I still have now yet now she's a complete stranger, I don't even know if she's at uni or not or anything.

    edit: sorry, that turned into a proper essay!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Well I'm glad (in a way) that there are people who have noticed similar things. I just feel like it's so sad. I'm not the type of girl who's friends with everyone, I guess I choose my friends carefully. Well, not 'carefully', but you know what I mean.

    I hate trying to gauge what kind of mood they're in when they come home. Whether it's 'let's all laugh like we used to' or 'let's ***** all night about course-mates'.

    Sigh.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    This is happening to me too. I'm the only one of my friends that is not at uni and I would say that at least three of them are changing because of uni. Their views on drinking have changed, they all seem to think that you haven't lived if you don't go out and get drunk to the point of violence and/or being carried home.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 16, 2013
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.