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Bf - photo of naked friend + flirting/joking about it watch

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    Few months ago, I was on my boyfriend's laptop. Tried to click on My Computer as was fixing something, accidentally clicked on My Photos. Saw naked photo of someone, an amateur one, taken by someone themselves. Looked like a friend of his. Had suspicions, let go, went to then go check my gmail.

    He was already logged onto his gmail. Not proud of this, but saw conversation with girl I thought the naked photo was of. Quickly saw her talking about "not letting [him] see more photos of her vajayjay". That's all I saw, I shut it down and went into shock. Basically connected the two. Conversation dated in the last month or so.

    Exploded at him, he told me it was a pornographic photo, downloaded it as his internet doesn't allow him to watch videos. I don't care about him watching or looking at porn. I care it was potentially a girl he knew. He used to like her and they used to send each other lots of naked photos. This photo, however, was dated a month before. I googled her, keep googling her, the face looks the same, the body shape looks the same, everything looks the same. He convinced me of the above story, just a photo of a website. I never fully believed him tbh.

    Suspicions are rising again. Had a fight, and now I've brought it up. She looks so similar. So incredibly similar. I know I sound like a psycho looking her up but I could swear on my life it is her.

    What the hell do I do. Relationship of 3 years. Everything feels wrong anyway with him, maybe I should just stop kidding myself he's not lying. He said he's been cheated on before and never would do it to anyone else. Maybe he just meant physical cheating. She lives in America. SHe looks so similar and I'm going mad, what do I do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Few months ago, I was on my boyfriend's laptop. Tried to click on My Computer as was fixing something, accidentally clicked on My Photos. Saw naked photo of someone, an amateur one, taken by someone themselves. Looked like a friend of his. Had suspicions, let go, went to then go check my gmail.

    He was already logged onto his gmail. Not proud of this, but saw conversation with girl I thought the naked photo was of. Quickly saw her talking about "not letting [him] see more photos of her vajayjay". That's all I saw, I shut it down and went into shock. Basically connected the two. Conversation dated in the last month or so.

    Exploded at him, he told me it was a pornographic photo, downloaded it as his internet doesn't allow him to watch videos. I don't care about him watching or looking at porn. I care it was potentially a girl he knew. He used to like her and they used to send each other lots of naked photos. This photo, however, was dated a month before. I googled her, keep googling her, the face looks the same, the body shape looks the same, everything looks the same. He convinced me of the above story, just a photo of a website. I never fully believed him tbh.

    Suspicions are rising again. Had a fight, and now I've brought it up. She looks so similar. So incredibly similar. I know I sound like a psycho looking her up but I could swear on my life it is her.

    What the hell do I do. Relationship of 3 years. Everything feels wrong anyway with him, maybe I should just stop kidding myself he's not lying. He said he's been cheated on before and never would do it to anyone else. Maybe he just meant physical cheating. She lives in America. SHe looks so similar and I'm going mad, what do I do?
    That should tell you something.

    Ask him straight up about it again and give him an ultimatum; the truth or you leave him.
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    She called it a vajayjay?

    Is she really old enough to be sending naked photos?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Few months ago, I was on my boyfriend's laptop. Tried to click on My Computer as was fixing something, accidentally clicked on My Photos. Saw naked photo of someone, an amateur one, taken by someone themselves. Looked like a friend of his. Had suspicions, let go, went to then go check my gmail.

    He was already logged onto his gmail. Not proud of this, but saw conversation with girl I thought the naked photo was of. Quickly saw her talking about "not letting [him] see more photos of her vajayjay". That's all I saw, I shut it down and went into shock. Basically connected the two. Conversation dated in the last month or so.

    Exploded at him, he told me it was a pornographic photo, downloaded it as his internet doesn't allow him to watch videos. I don't care about him watching or looking at porn. I care it was potentially a girl he knew. He used to like her and they used to send each other lots of naked photos. This photo, however, was dated a month before. I googled her, keep googling her, the face looks the same, the body shape looks the same, everything looks the same. He convinced me of the above story, just a photo of a website. I never fully believed him tbh.

    Suspicions are rising again. Had a fight, and now I've brought it up. She looks so similar. So incredibly similar. I know I sound like a psycho looking her up but I could swear on my life it is her.

    What the hell do I do. Relationship of 3 years. Everything feels wrong anyway with him, maybe I should just stop kidding myself he's not lying. He said he's been cheated on before and never would do it to anyone else. Maybe he just meant physical cheating. She lives in America. SHe looks so similar and I'm going mad, what do I do?
    Did you ask about the email conversation? What was the excuse there?
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    (Original post by randymandy)
    Did you ask about the email conversation? What was the excuse there?
    He said they were talking about the photos they sent from the past. but she looks so similar
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    (Original post by mikeyd85)
    She called it a vajayjay?

    Is she really old enough to be sending naked photos?
    She is 24/25. My boyfriend is 25, I am 19 (nearly 20), age gap, ldr, the works. maybe he wanted her. she's probably better than me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She is 24/25. My boyfriend is 25, I am 19 (nearly 20), age gap, ldr, the works. maybe he wanted her. she's probably better than me
    Better?

    What a load of ****. I won't hear that from anyone. Nobody is innately better than anyone else. People are different, they show their strengths and hide their weakness. When you compare against another, you compare your weaknesses to the stenghts they show in public. This is a twisted view on things and is wrong.

    Sometimes in life **** just happens. You're young, if you've got any doubts about this, just end it. There's no point hanging on to something that doesn't, make you happy. If he's happier with her, then let it be. Fighting a war in a far off land over something you're not sure about just seems a little pointless.

    If I'm reading you wrong here, just say. But your heart doesn't seem in it.

    If your worried about being single, please, don't be. Having someone for the sake of it is just pointless. Be happy in yourself and shared your life with only those you care about. It's an easy way to be very happy.
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    (Original post by mikeyd85)
    Better?

    What a load of ****. I won't hear that from anyone. Nobody is innately better than anyone else. People are different, they show their strengths and hide their weakness. When you compare against another, you compare your weaknesses to the stenghts they show in public. This is a twisted view on things and is wrong.

    Sometimes in life **** just happens. You're young, if you've got any doubts about this, just end it. There's no point hanging on to something that doesn't, make you happy. If he's happier with her, then let it be. Fighting a war in a far off land over something you're not sure about just seems a little pointless.

    If I'm reading you wrong here, just say. But your heart doesn't seem in it.

    If your worried about being single, please, don't be. Having someone for the sake of it is just pointless. Be happy in yourself and shared your life with only those you care about. It's an easy way to be very happy.
    :cry2: You're right. Even before this, for a whole year, he flirted with other girls and compared me to his ex. I have no confidence now, now self-esteem, everything is based on what he'll like. I'm so lost. I can't believe it.

    Thank you :jumphug:
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    I think you have to leave him , you seem unhappy with him in general
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :cry2: You're right. Even before this, for a whole year, he flirted with other girls and compared me to his ex. I have no confidence now, now self-esteem, everything is based on what he'll like. I'm so lost. I can't believe it.

    Thank you :jumphug:
    Honestly love, it sounds like he's driven you to this point by systematically breaking your confidence. How intentional that is I can't say, only you can judge that. Before you make that judgement though, give yourself time to think.

    If you do break up with him, give yourself time to find yourself. Allow yourself the space to indulge in experimentation with the arts, hobbies, the world. Find what makes you happy again.

    Only when one can truly love oneself can one truly love. There's some truth in that.
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    Been with him since 16, now 19. 3 whole years of my life. It's just not right anymore, I have no more confidence, everyday I feel wretched and have done for the 3 years. I think he might have cheated on me too.

    Sounds stupid but I'm scared to break up and be single. Can someone give me some reassurance on how to do it? This is my first relationship.
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    You'll feel a lot better if you are genuinely unhappy. If you have no confidence, surely he should be helping you with that?

    You might feel like it's a weight off your shoulders (count yourself lucky this is one of my few non troll responses)
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    I am in the same position

    But I am not scared to be single....I am scared of what he will do to me if I properly break up with him. He has made threats like he will kill me or my family in the past and has said he will take his revenge in whatever way he can. As he has serious anger issues I am sure he will too

    I don't love him and I want to escape but I am scared of what may happen
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    You know what you've got to do.
    :console:
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    (Original post by Huskaris)
    You'll feel a lot better if you are genuinely unhappy. If you have no confidence, surely he should be helping you with that?

    You might feel like it's a weight off your shoulders (count yourself lucky this is one of my few non troll responses)
    I have no confidence because of things he's done Everything feels bad, we have nothing in common anyway, everything is wrong. I'm just scared to be alone

    Thank your for your reply :hugs:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She lives in America.
    You need to chill, at best he was just building on some **** bank material
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have no confidence because of things he's done Everything feels bad, we have nothing in common anyway, everything is wrong. I'm just scared to be alone

    Thank your for your reply :hugs:
    Precisely, because of things he's done... Doesn't make you a bad person. Being alone isn't that bad, you would be shocked at how many other decent people are out there :P
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    My first boyfriend lasted two years - age 15 to 17, so I understand how it feels. The spark wasn't there anymore and he'd been messaging other girls online, exchanging photos, so I kind of knew that it was over in the long-run.

    The best thing you can do is make sure you surround yourself with friends. It sounds weird but, you'll want the support. And things to take your mind off it. It's difficult going from being with someone so long to being 'alone' again, and at the time I did think 'oh what a waste of 2 years that was' ... But don't see it as a waste. It was good while it lasted, right?

    As for the actual breaking up... Sit down in person and voice your concerns. Do it somewhere where you can talk alone and without being disturbed, the worst thing you could do is do it in a public place or over the phone or something. You want a calm environment where you'll feel comfortable then and after.

    Just see it as one step closer to finding 'the one'. Chin up!
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    You need to chill, at best he was just building on some **** bank material
    But flirting and joking about it? While coming up to a 3 year relationship with me? I don't mind him using porn, I don't care, but they've had a past, and they were joking about it again, and I could swear it was her.
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    (Original post by Huskaris)
    You'll feel a lot better if you are genuinely unhappy. If you have no confidence, surely he should be helping you with that?

    You might feel like it's a weight off your shoulders (count yourself lucky this is one of my few non troll responses)
    It's true, OP. You should feel very lucky. :yes:
 
 
 
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