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Why have all my boyfriends been awful :( Watch

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    I am seriously scarred by then men I have met. First bf - total psycho. Used to hit me, stalked me for months, threatened to kill me, had sex with tens of other girls whilst pretending to be faithful to me...the list goes on. Second bf - whilst with me was constantly obsessing over his ex, he would text her and call and do nice things for her whilst I would spend hours consoling him and reassuring him and making him feel better, only for him to dump me and go back to her, even though she is a complete ***** to him. I truly loved him and would of done anything for him. Third bf - appeared to be romantic, sweet, caring but started to show a really controlling side - wouldn't let me go out with my friends, wear short skirts, make up, would put me down re my looks, he made me lose a lot of confidence in myself, which I never really had in the first place. When I asked him to stop contacting me he texted all my friends rumours about me and threatened to send revealing pics of me to the whole of his facebook - I don't know if this has happened but I am living in fear.

    Now when I look at couples - I get a real pain inside. When I hear about someone who has been cheated on I feel empty, when someone gives me a compliment I don't believe it, when I hear the word ex I feel anxious and down, when I see other girls I feel ugly in comparison.....when a guy shows interest in me I make every excuse to avoid them......

    Seriously what is the point? I would much rather be single forever
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am seriously scarred by then men I have met. First bf - total psycho. Used to hit me, stalked me for months, threatened to kill me, had sex with tens of other girls whilst pretending to be faithful to me...the list goes on. Second bf - whilst with me was constantly obsessing over his ex, he would text her and call and do nice things for her whilst I would spend hours consoling him and reassuring him and making him feel better, only for him to dump me and go back to her, even though she is a complete ***** to him. I truly loved him and would of done anything for him. Third bf - appeared to be romantic, sweet, caring but started to show a really controlling side - wouldn't let me go out with my friends, wear short skirts, make up, would put me down re my looks, he made me lose a lot of confidence in myself, which I never really had in the first place. When I asked him to stop contacting me he texted all my friends rumours about me and threatened to send revealing pics of me to the whole of his facebook - I don't know if this has happened but I am living in fear.

    Now when I look at couples - I get a real pain inside. When I hear about someone who has been cheated on I feel empty, when someone gives me a compliment I don't believe it, when I hear the word ex I feel anxious and down, when I see other girls I feel ugly in comparison.....when a guy shows interest in me I make every excuse to avoid them......

    Seriously what is the point? I would much rather be single forever
    Do you like cats?

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    (Original post by chappers-94)
    Do you like cats?

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    Lol. Nope I'm not a crazy cat lady. My friend on the other hand is and she has had wonderful boyfriends. Maybe I should buy loads of cats, hmmmmmmmm.
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    Love yourself before you love another.


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    Maybe you pick the crazy ones.
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    You picked **** men.
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    Tbh I just think you've been unlucky. From what you've said, it seems like it's always been them rather than you, you've just been unfortunate, and from your experiences your confidence has been damaged. Honestly, you seem like a lovely person and I think if you just take a step back and regain your confidence, then eventually you'll find the right guy for you.
    Of course, all of this is easier said than done, but I reckon over time you'll be ready to find someone
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lol. Nope I'm not a crazy cat lady. My friend on the other hand is and she has had wonderful boyfriends. Maybe I should buy loads of cats, hmmmmmmmm.
    Lol, what I was going to say really was, firstly get a better life attitude, go out with your mates and enjoy life, and do things that make you feel good, give yourself a positive life attitude in general. If you want to get a better boyfriend build up your confidence, and go and ask a guy out that you like instead of waiting for the guy to come to you, that way you don't have to wait for the right guy to come along and chat you up as you choose the guy you like.

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    Well there is no excuse for being treated badly and physical abuse is particularly abhorrent.

    The fact is that you obviously have confidence/self esteem problems and unfortunately, that makes you more vulnerable than most to men who are going to treat women like ****. The other thing is, that perhaps with the example of your second boyfriend - a lot of women just wouldn't have stayed with someone so obsessed with someone else for so long in the first place.
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    People are a dime a ****ing dozen. It's like bobbing for apples, you just keep going till you pull out a good one.
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    You might attract the wrong crowd tbh. You had 3 bfs and they all sound like total jerks. That's starting to be a huge coincidence.
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    I think you've been unlucky - but don't let it get you down. :-(

    Focus on yourself and on what you want from life - and just watch out about the men you like/attract - there will be good ones and bad ones!

    Maybe ask your friends about someone, if you think they might have a 'side' you should know about.
    And if early on in the relationship you get red flags that show you might be getting with a psycho/cheater/controlling guy, walk out before you get in deeper.

    Bottom line - none of this is your fault, and you are right that it is better to be alone than in bad company, but you will find the right guy eventually. Just think that eventually, this will make you stronger.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am seriously scarred by then men I have met. First bf - total psycho. Used to hit me, stalked me for months, threatened to kill me, had sex with tens of other girls whilst pretending to be faithful to me...the list goes on. Second bf - whilst with me was constantly obsessing over his ex, he would text her and call and do nice things for her whilst I would spend hours consoling him and reassuring him and making him feel better, only for him to dump me and go back to her, even though she is a complete ***** to him. I truly loved him and would of done anything for him. Third bf - appeared to be romantic, sweet, caring but started to show a really controlling side - wouldn't let me go out with my friends, wear short skirts, make up, would put me down re my looks, he made me lose a lot of confidence in myself, which I never really had in the first place. When I asked him to stop contacting me he texted all my friends rumours about me and threatened to send revealing pics of me to the whole of his facebook - I don't know if this has happened but I am living in fear.

    Now when I look at couples - I get a real pain inside. When I hear about someone who has been cheated on I feel empty, when someone gives me a compliment I don't believe it, when I hear the word ex I feel anxious and down, when I see other girls I feel ugly in comparison.....when a guy shows interest in me I make every excuse to avoid them......

    Seriously what is the point? I would much rather be single forever
    relationship:
    1-fair enough, sorry
    2-why didnt you dump him? the second i read this i thought you were confusing friendship for a relationship... if he put more effort into her or that it seems obvious that he still wants her then dump him...
    3- fair enough sorry

    so far, it seems like you just had two bad relationships that were significant, this could just be bad luck...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am seriously scarred by then men I have met. First bf - total psycho. Used to hit me, stalked me for months, threatened to kill me, had sex with tens of other girls whilst pretending to be faithful to me...the list goes on. Second bf - whilst with me was constantly obsessing over his ex, he would text her and call and do nice things for her whilst I would spend hours consoling him and reassuring him and making him feel better, only for him to dump me and go back to her, even though she is a complete ***** to him. I truly loved him and would of done anything for him. Third bf - appeared to be romantic, sweet, caring but started to show a really controlling side - wouldn't let me go out with my friends, wear short skirts, make up, would put me down re my looks, he made me lose a lot of confidence in myself, which I never really had in the first place. When I asked him to stop contacting me he texted all my friends rumours about me and threatened to send revealing pics of me to the whole of his facebook - I don't know if this has happened but I am living in fear.

    Now when I look at couples - I get a real pain inside. When I hear about someone who has been cheated on I feel empty, when someone gives me a compliment I don't believe it, when I hear the word ex I feel anxious and down, when I see other girls I feel ugly in comparison.....when a guy shows interest in me I make every excuse to avoid them......

    Seriously what is the point? I would much rather be single forever
    I think you've been rather unlucky to have had three fairly bad experiences. However, don't let that put you down as there are plenty of good guys out there who will treat you right and appreciate you as a girlfriend. Sure, you haven't come across him yet and its been pretty rough, but that doesn't mean you won't meet someone who is worth the wait!

    My experiences haven't been as bad as yours, but still not great. I've had my confidence dented, felt terrible after having been cheated on and have, at times, refused to believe a girl when she said she liked me. However, I really would like to meet someone nice and settle down in the not too distant future. If I let my past get me down, I'm not even going to give myself a chance of meeting a nice girl, let alone forging a long term relationship. So, don't lose hope; cliched as it may be, it will happen for you, sooner or later! Just hang in there.

    Maybe try your best to read the guy before getting into anything serious, talk to his friends if you can to see what sort of a boy he is and find out a little bit about his relationship history to gauge what kind of a boyfriend he may be. Little clues here and there can help identify the psychos! Best of luck mate!
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    It's because you have appallng judgement. It will improve in time.
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    It sounds like you are just awful at separating good boyfriend material from bad boyfriend material.
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    you have to kiss alot of frogs before you can find your prince.

    Unfortunatly you seem to have had a fair share of frogs but dont worry a decent guy will appear when your least expecting it yes it be hard to trust again but it will happen
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    You are the common denominator in all your relationships. Take the time to self-reflect before placing ALL of the blame on your past lovers.
 
 
 
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