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Find my course friend intimidating sometimes watch

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    Basically there is this person on my course, who i get along with quite well, however there are times where he can become really indimidating to me and makes me doubt myself, almost always it's in terms of computer programming (right now i'm kinda stuck on most things and kinda need someone to kinda spoon feed the solutions to me untill i understand it)

    Thing is this guy does sometimes really bug me, but i don't want to bring it up cos i fear if i do i'll loose the friendship and when i have another year of uni and he is on my course that's gonna create some ****ing awkward tension

    What can i do, i'm normally quite a shy person, i've had moments when i've wanted to snap at him but refrained from it
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    Talk to him about it. If he realises that he's intimidating you, he'll stop(or not). Alternatively, meet some other people in the same course as you, I'm sure they won't bite


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    (Original post by pessimist)
    Talk to him about it. If he realises that he's intimidating you, he'll stop(or not). Alternatively, meet some other people in the same course as you, I'm sure they won't bite


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    there are 7 people on my course :P know em all
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    (Original post by Tcrumpen)
    Basically there is this person on my course, who i get along with quite well, however there are times where he can become really indimidating to me and makes me doubt myself, almost always it's in terms of computer programming (right now i'm kinda stuck on most things and kinda need someone to kinda spoon feed the solutions to me untill i understand it)

    Thing is this guy does sometimes really bug me, but i don't want to bring it up cos i fear if i do i'll loose the friendship and when i have another year of uni and he is on my course that's gonna create some ****ing awkward tension

    What can i do, i'm normally quite a shy person, i've had moments when i've wanted to snap at him but refrained from it
    What does he do to actually appear intimidating? To resolve it, the worst thing to do is to let it continue, you have to approach him but it would be best to perhaps do so in a jokey way first that points out just how much you dislike it. If that fails then you should just tell him that you find him intimidating for whatever reason but do so diplomatically- if that fails then you've tried everything you can reasonably do, depending on the person you could be a bit more forceful, but generally good friendships don't have an issue of intimidation.
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    (Original post by Tcrumpen)
    there are 7 people on my course :P know em all
    Right, sorry I misinterpreted your post. Just speak to him about it, he should be fine, if not he'll have to deal with it. Surely it won't be too awkward if you know all of the other people?


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    (Original post by Alkain1607)
    What does he do to actually appear intimidating? To resolve it, the worst thing to do is to let it continue, you have to approach him but it would be best to perhaps do so in a jokey way first that points out just how much you dislike it. If that fails then you should just tell him that you find him intimidating for whatever reason but do so diplomatically- if that fails then you've tried everything you can reasonably do, depending on the person you could be a bit more forceful, but generally good friendships don't have an issue of intimidation.
    Well he is one of the best programmers on my uni course, and when i ask him for help he'll sometimes do the whole "how can you not know / understand that" thing, i think he means to do it jokdily (spelling?) but that is not how it is comming off to me
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    (Original post by Tcrumpen)
    Well he is one of the best programmers on my uni course, and when i ask him for help he'll sometimes do the whole "how can you not know / understand that" thing, i think he means to do it jokdily (spelling?) but that is not how it is comming off to me
    Well you'll have to tell him that then, if he does mean it jokingly then he probably has no idea that you're getting upset about it. It's always better to tackle the issue head on, so it doesn't escalate into anything like a fight etc. You may feel uncomfortable with the conversation, but once it's over it's over
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    Sounds like a smug dude. Just deal with it.. or create that awkward tension. It won't last long. Remember what is was like at school.. nothings changed.

    Plus you're not in the wrong.

    Or actually take him aside and talk to him honestly. But let's be honest.. who does that anymore!
 
 
 
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