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Why are people "happy" being "unhappy" relationships? watch

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    Just something, to think about.

    Quite a lot of my friends are in long term relationships with people whom they always seem to be arguing with or complaining to other people about. Literally, a couple of my friends will spend a good hour *****ing and moaning about their other half to me but look horrified when I suggest they end it, it's usually met with responses such as "I can't do that".

    So why do people stay in relationships that clearly aren't working? Is it just out of fear of being single, or because being with that person has become so routine that they'd rather put up with them than change their lifestyle? I mean, at around my own age at eighteen it's highly unlikely that you've got joint assets such as a home that would make it difficult to split.

    Oh, and I'm not talking about abusive relationships where it's obvious that one half is frightened/scared to leave.
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    I think alot of people place a big emphasis on being in a relationship.

    Either its 'cool' to be in one, or they're scared of being single/rejected and seem to think that if they dont have a relationship at the mere age of 18 their life is officially over.

    I know so many people who are in relationships for the sake of having one and it aggravates me so much when they waffle on about love and respect like theyre so versed in the ways of the world and then break up a week later. Oh nice it would be to be so wise at 18 compared to 80 year olds who have the same relationship for 60 years.

    And then they post memes and quotes all over their facebook that say stuff like 'im single because you dont deserve me' and 'if you dont like then **** off, i dont live to please you' accompanied by this face :/
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    (Original post by Lexi99)
    I think alot of people place a big emphasis on being in a relationship.

    Either its 'cool' to be in one, or they're scared of being single/rejected and seem to think that if they dont have a relationship at the mere age of 18 their life is officially over.

    I know so many people who are in relationships for the sake of having one and it aggravates me so much when they waffle on about love and respect like theyre so versed in the ways of the world and then break up a week later. Oh nice it would be to be so wise at 18 compared to 80 year olds who have the same relationship for 60 years.

    And then they post memes and quotes all over their facebook that say stuff like 'im single because you dont deserve me' and 'if you dont like then **** off, i dont live to please you' accompanied by this face :/
    I agree. It does seem like you have to be in a relationship.

    I was having a conversation a while back at work before I got in a relationship and a friend remarked "oh no wonder you can hold down a man, she has good taste in films and knows how to cook a steak" and when I told him I was single, I just got this look of horror and asked why? I might as well have told him I was from a completely different planet.

    Don't get me started on the relationship wisdom types, there's nothing worse than writing statuses or tweets all about being single.
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    (Original post by H0ls)
    Just something, to think about.

    Quite a lot of my friends are in long term relationships with people whom they always seem to be arguing with or complaining to other people about. Literally, a couple of my friends will spend a good hour *****ing and moaning about their other half to me but look horrified when I suggest they end it, it's usually met with responses such as "I can't do that".

    So why do people stay in relationships that clearly aren't working? Is it just out of fear of being single, or because being with that person has become so routine that they'd rather put up with them than change their lifestyle? I mean, at around my own age at eighteen it's highly unlikely that you've got joint assets such as a home that would make it difficult to split.

    Oh, and I'm not talking about abusive relationships where it's obvious that one half is frightened/scared to leave.
    Scared of being single (no idea why because I get to use ALL of the space in my bed, and I appreciate that for its full value), sometimes deep down they still love them even if there are lots of niggly things about them that drive them nuts. Heck, every couple has those. If you don't, you're odd. The worst are the on-again, off-again relationships. Just choose.
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    Some people also just enjoy *****ing about their partner - but actually present a completely unfair picture of them and their interaction. They just like to make their friends look on them as the victim and give them love/sympathy/care/attention...
    At the cost of making their partner, who they are supposed to respect and cherish, seem like an awful person. Nice one.

    I believe that is what it is half the time: they're in an alright relationship with a alright well-meaning ordinary person and just go milk any slight annoyance/misunderstanding/mismatch without actually hating their partner - just making it seem as though they do/should. Make them look bad just so you can get confirmation that you're great.


    Don't ask me why the heck you would want to do that! I've seen it happen though.
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    I think more than anything else people don't wanna be single or end up alone that's why they stick it out in a relationship. I used to be like that but now I realise it is far better being alone than being in a relationship that would just make me miserable and unhappy.
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    I'm not a psychologist or anything, but personally I think it's because people enjoy it.

    I believe there is a part in all of us that, to some extent, likes playing the victim. That sounds a little strong, but it's just an opinion! Chuck Palahniuk's "Haunted" was what made me realise this. Although the book is more extreme in how it portrays this, on the whole I think it's an accurate (though slightly depressing) perception.

    Basically, some people like to argue, be put down, or even be hurt by their partner in a relationship - it makes them feel like they have somebody to blame other than themselves for their unhappiness. This is usually a side effect of low esteem, lack of self confidence, or some lack of satisfaction at themselves. Although I guess these are all very similar!

    And I guess other people don't want to be single, or cling to the hope that something will change in the relationship.

    Hope this helps.
 
 
 
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