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    I only have two best friends and they are the only two people I really ever talk to. Recently I've been drifting away from both of them and ngl feeling pretty lonely.

    One of my friends has recently gotten a boyfriend. She doesn't STOP talking about him; literally. All our texts are about the both of them/any issues they have. Every time I bring up that I have something going on, her reply is literally like, "oh really? Anyway, so me and blah blah," or she blanks what I say. I feel selfish if I don't help her out with her problem, but how can she expect me to continue doing that when she doesn't know what the hell is going on in my life/doesn't care. A part of me is angry because it feels like such a one sided friendship and I've brought it up two or three times; she agrees that it has been one sided, says she feels bad and then goes back to doing the same thing. I don't even know what to do. It sounds so minor but she knows I have stuff going on but has never even asked me how I am; she's meant to be my best friend and that hurts. And when things are good between the both of them, she completely ignores me. It's like I'm a back up.

    My other best friend has also gotten a boyfriend about a year ago. Without telling me she introduced him to her other friend. Obviously this isn't a major issue, but again she's meant to be my best friend and she made it a point that this other friend would be introduced first because she didn't even tell me they were going to meet. Anyway, now my best friend and her other friend have all these private jokes, and it's like they're shoving it in my face. My best friend also told me that her friend had demanded she meet her boyfriend before me, so I can sense some tension between us...So it's clear my best friend is getting closer to this other girl and she barely even talks/sees me anymore.

    So it's like everyone's moving on, yet expects me to be there when things mess up. I do feel like I'm putting them first when they aren't even there, yet I can't bring myself to move on and leave them behind as well. I feel pretty abandoned, and it's more of an issue because they've both moved on at the same time so I kinda haven't got anyone left. What should I even do?! I want things to be good between us, I've been friends with both of them for 4 and 9 years respectively, but I don't know if I should be the one trying to fight for a friendship or if I'm better off moving on too.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I only have two best friends and they are the only two people I really ever talk to. Recently I've been drifting away from both of them and ngl feeling pretty lonely.

    One of my friends has recently gotten a boyfriend. She doesn't STOP talking about him; literally. All our texts are about the both of them/any issues they have. Every time I bring up that I have something going on, her reply is literally like, "oh really? Anyway, so me and blah blah," or she blanks what I say. I feel selfish if I don't help her out with her problem, but how can she expect me to continue doing that when she doesn't know what the hell is going on in my life/doesn't care. A part of me is angry because it feels like such a one sided friendship and I've brought it up two or three times; she agrees that it has been one sided, says she feels bad and then goes back to doing the same thing. I don't even know what to do. It sounds so minor but she knows I have stuff going on but has never even asked me how I am; she's meant to be my best friend and that hurts. And when things are good between the both of them, she completely ignores me. It's like I'm a back up.

    My other best friend has also gotten a boyfriend about a year ago. Without telling me she introduced him to her other friend. Obviously this isn't a major issue, but again she's meant to be my best friend and she made it a point that this other friend would be introduced first because she didn't even tell me they were going to meet. Anyway, now my best friend and her other friend have all these private jokes, and it's like they're shoving it in my face. My best friend also told me that her friend had demanded she meet her boyfriend before me, so I can sense some tension between us...So it's clear my best friend is getting closer to this other girl and she barely even talks/sees me anymore.

    So it's like everyone's moving on, yet expects me to be there when things mess up. I do feel like I'm putting them first when they aren't even there, yet I can't bring myself to move on and leave them behind as well. I feel pretty abandoned, and it's more of an issue because they've both moved on at the same time so I kinda haven't got anyone left. What should I even do?! I want things to be good between us, I've been friends with both of them for 4 and 9 years respectively, but I don't know if I should be the one trying to fight for a friendship or if I'm better off moving on too.
    Just to make this a bit easier to follow, is it okay if I give your friends names? We'll call the first bf you spoke about Emma and the second Holly, yeah?
    It sounds to me like Holly is seriously jealous of you and feels like you're way closer to Emma than she is. So she's trying to strengthen her friendship with Emma while subsequently taking it away from you by doing stuff like the boyfriend intros behind your back. It's petty of Holly, but it's seriously nasty and apparently intentional and you shouldn't have to surround yourself with people that obviously upset you (especially when they're trying to do it on purpose!)

    To me, it doesn't really seem like there's much of a friendship left to salvage, and if there is I personally don't think it would be best for you to try and save it. It sounds like you're the glue of the friendship and the other two rely on you to keep them on track and decent (go you, girl!... or guy! you're anonymous, I'm not sure haha), but it seems like they've just become seriously complacent about having you and just expect that you'll always be there to pick up the pieces. If it were me in your situation (which I kind of am, except my friends found alcohol not boys haha) I think I'd give them a bit of an explanation, tell them how I was feeling then, pretty much regardless of the outcome, I'd just distance myself for a while. If they made an effort or attempted to restart our friendship (I don't mean calling, crying because they need me to sort out their problems, I'm talking a legitimate 'I've been a *****' apology - with chocolate!) then I think I'd try it out again, but if they made no/half-hearted attempts I'd just kind of accept that it was over, yknow? But, obviously, you have the power with this one, girl so it's totally up to you!

    I think distancing yourself for a while would be really beneficial for you. It'll give you a chance to clear your head, make sense of the whole situation and give you a chance to talk to and meet other people! The distance will also give Emma and Holly a chance to see the situation properly, so it might even make them realise that they've been taking you for granted. If you feel upset or anything about it, do you have anyone to speak to? A parent or other friend or even someone on the internet! Seriously, it doesn't even need to be someone you know, sometimes you just have to vent! And it makes you feel a billion times better when you just get it out.

    I hope everything works out for you.
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    The first friend sounds ridiculously self absorbed. If I were you, the first thing I'd do would be to make a joke out of the situation. Next time she texts you about her boyfriend problems text back and say "Gosh, sometimes it feels like I know more about him than you nowadays" and if she STILL persists just say "look, can we talk about something else please? Talking to you is starting to feel like all the drama of being in a relationship without me actually being in a relationship. ha". If she doesn't get the hint after that, just stop replying to her. Maybe you could try and introduce a boyfriend free night, where you ban talking about boyfriends and just do girly things. You could sell it to her by saying "it sounds like all your relationship problems are bringing you down. Lets have a girly/boyfriend free night" or something along those lines.

    The second friend sounds like she's jealous of you and your first friend's friendship. Maybe you should do something on your own with her (sounds like it wouldn't be too hard since Friend 1 is obsessed with her boyfriend) and just try to have some fun with her.
 
 
 
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