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    Hello all, thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I want to preface by saying that if you are answering my post and would like me to answer yours as well, please leave the link to yours in your answer and I will be more than happy to return the help.

    I really like this guy who is going into his third year of medical school (we're in the US), so he will be in the hospital doing rotations all the time and I basically won't see him again for at least a whole year. I've known him for almost a year now and have been sending him signals for 9 months (he definitely knows I like him because I told him). I was afraid to get close to him because I know he is super busy and won't have time to dedicate to any type of relationship with me.

    I might have done the right thing for my incredibly delicate heart by not getting too involved with him but I still feel like **** because I truly cared for him. I would have done anything for him. I really want to be with him but circumstances won't allow us.

    I just need someone to tell me it will be alright and why/how, please. I'm in such pain right now. I don't want to move on from him and forget about him forever because he was such a beautiful person inside and out, and I really feel like I lost a rare opportunity with this guy. Thank you so much.

    Please read my list of pros and cons about him:

    Pros:
    • we have a lot in common (we're from NYC, went to the same magnet high schools, we have the same friends)
    • he's beautiful, the most gorgeous creature I have ever laid my eyes on
    • he's sweet, gentle, and compassionate
    • is brilliant as hell, goes to Harvard (just like me, I'm an undergraduate)
    • is exactly the guy I'm incredibly sexually and intellectually attracted to
    • he's shy just like me so we've been very understanding with each other of this limitation
    • he was still willing to talk to me even after I told him I was into him (usually if a guy knows you like him and is not into you he'd avoid you right?)
    • seems to have tact, so is knowledgeable about how social situations should go but is unsure of how to act in them, which I don't mind
    • if we're together, our friends and families are conveniently in the same city so we can travel together, spend holidays together, etc
    • Cons:
    • he is perhaps the biggest pussy I have ever dealt with (unable to approach me, is maybe shyer than I am)
    • doesn't seem to have any balls
    • he seems more insecure than the normal medical student at this particular med school
    • sucks at communicating online, but is not tech savvy to begin with to be fair
    • I had to chase after him like a beast, could not meet me halfway at all, I had to do all the work, although I know my crush on him is my issue entirely and not his responsibility.
    • doesn't seem to see the value in having someone as pretty, smart, understanding, and sweet like me chase so aggressively after him
    • is inexperienced and awkward when it comes to women and social situations in general, making it hard for me and him to connect during our limited amount of time together
    • might be battling with his sexual orientation, may be a closet gay or bisexual (more likely bisexual)
    • is in third year of med school so will disappear and not have time for anything but himself
    • is beautiful so he may attract people he's attracted to very soon, destroying my chances
    • #1
    #1

    Well it's kinda hard to tell from your post what the situation with you and him is, but am I right in thinking he hasn't actually indicated he likes you?

    It all seems a bit contradictory to me; he's a great guy and perfect for you intellectually and sexually, but he's a massive 'pussy' with no balls, insecure, made very little effort to actually get to know you, and doesn't value you. Oh yeh and he might be gay. Doesn't sound so great to me. :confused:

    I'm not trying to be mean, its just we tend to build things up in our minds and put people on pedestals. I know how you feel because I'm really struggling getting over my female best friend (I might post a thread on here). I'm trying to move on but my mind just doesn't want to, it just goes over and over how perfect she is, and how I missed my chance with her. But the thing is that kind of thinking isn't rational, because no ones perfect. I'm more in love with the idea of her.

    So maybe its the same kind of thing with you, after all if you two were meant to be together, then surely you would be? However shy he is, if you made it clear that you had feelings for him (for 9 months!) then he would at least put in some effort. If he really wanted to be with you then he'd jump at the chance. Maybe I'm mistaken, and he does like you but from what you've said he just doesn't sound that into you. In which case, yes you should let go of him. It'll take time, a lot of time. But someone else will come along, and then you'll realise that actually they're so much better for you than this other guy.
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    Thanks for the warm words and advice. You're right, he hasn't expressed interest in me, I just liked the idea of him. It's just really tough letting him go because I saw so much potential. What a waste of a gorgeous face, eh? What a waste. I would've done his gorgeous ass some justice. Sigh

    Good luck to you too with getting over yours. I hope you're healing well. Thanks again.
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    If he hasn't reciprocated, I'd say he is trying to let you down gently.

    There are many other men out there, more available and less "pussy-like" as you describe him. =\
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    Go straight in for the kiss with him one day. If he kisses you back, he will ease off and be more relaxed and things will progress. Make the move before he leaves even if you are a girl it doesn't mean anything!
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    I was in a similar position this time last year (so weird thinking that was a year ago!). Long story short, I had a massive crush on someone and supposedly (mutual friend who I'm quite close to and happens to be one of his best mates) he liked me back, talked to him about it but he didn't want to do anything because we were both going to uni but my uni's 10 hours away from our hometown and in hindsight it would have been utterly impossible, trains are so expensive (plus he's a lazy bugger, so am I actually :lol:). So then he stopped talking to me and I was still obsessing over him for ages. I'd say that unless he has definitely reciprocated, try to let it go because it really won't happen. Even if you think something could have, there is nothing you can do about it and it's going to hurt so much more if you obsess over it. Hope you get over it I did, it took me about 6 months but then I started fancying other people and I felt the same way about them that I did about the other guy. That said, I sincerely hope I never run into this guy again because I honestly don't know how I'd play it. Pretty much the entire year knew I fancied him. :lol: At the time I thought we would've made a great couple, and perhaps we would have been, but I've never been in a relationship so I think I'd idealised the entire thing in my head. Our imaginations can be b******s at times.
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    Everytime I come to his school and sit down he would come over to me and say hi. I am wondering if this is because he is shy? I don't think a medical school student studying for the USMLE Step 1 exam would put in the effort to do that if he didn't like me, unless he desperately craved the attention...?

    I asked him out in January and he said he couldn't because he was so busy. I was so crushed that I avoided him for two months. After I felt I was ready to cross paths with him again, I ran into him. He was staring at me more, speaking loudly with his friends with his voice directed toward me as if trying to get me to look at him, and trying to talk to my friends more. He also continued coming over to say hi to me when he saw me around. His friend knows that I like him: a few weeks ago I passed him by while he had his back to me. He was talking to his friend and his friend said "She's behind you." He turned around expectantly and waved hello to me. Do you think he's that insecure to crave this attention from me? I know he is super busy and stressed because of the medical licensing exam, so you could take this into account?

    Thanks again everyone.
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    (Original post by Minor6th)
    Hello all, thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I want to preface by saying that if you are answering my post and would like me to answer yours as well, please leave the link to yours in your answer and I will be more than happy to return the help.

    I really like this guy who is going into his third year of medical school (we're in the US), so he will be in the hospital doing rotations all the time and I basically won't see him again for at least a whole year. I've known him for almost a year now and have been sending him signals for 9 months (he definitely knows I like him because I told him). I was afraid to get close to him because I know he is super busy and won't have time to dedicate to any type of relationship with me.

    I might have done the right thing for my incredibly delicate heart by not getting too involved with him but I still feel like **** because I truly cared for him. I would have done anything for him. I really want to be with him but circumstances won't allow us.

    I just need someone to tell me it will be alright and why/how, please. I'm in such pain right now. I don't want to move on from him and forget about him forever because he was such a beautiful person inside and out, and I really feel like I lost a rare opportunity with this guy. Thank you so much.

    Please read my list of pros and cons about him:

    Pros:
    • we have a lot in common (we're from NYC, went to the same magnet high schools, we have the same friends)
    • he's beautiful, the most gorgeous creature I have ever laid my eyes on
    • he's sweet, gentle, and compassionate
    • is brilliant as hell, goes to Harvard (just like me, I'm an undergraduate)
    • is exactly the guy I'm incredibly sexually and intellectually attracted to
    • he's shy just like me so we've been very understanding with each other of this limitation
    • he was still willing to talk to me even after I told him I was into him (usually if a guy knows you like him and is not into you he'd avoid you right?)
    • seems to have tact, so is knowledgeable about how social situations should go but is unsure of how to act in them, which I don't mind
    • if we're together, our friends and families are conveniently in the same city so we can travel together, spend holidays together, etc
    • Cons:
    • he is perhaps the biggest pussy I have ever dealt with (unable to approach me, is maybe shyer than I am)
    • doesn't seem to have any balls
    • he seems more insecure than the normal medical student at this particular med school
    • sucks at communicating online, but is not tech savvy to begin with to be fair
    • I had to chase after him like a beast, could not meet me halfway at all, I had to do all the work, although I know my crush on him is my issue entirely and not his responsibility.
    • doesn't seem to see the value in having someone as pretty, smart, understanding, and sweet like me chase so aggressively after him
    • is inexperienced and awkward when it comes to women and social situations in general, making it hard for me and him to connect during our limited amount of time together
    • might be battling with his sexual orientation, may be a closet gay or bisexual (more likely bisexual)
    • is in third year of med school so will disappear and not have time for anything but himself
    • is beautiful so he may attract people he's attracted to very soon, destroying my chances
    Im not too sure if he's interested to be honest (if he's not been making much effort and stuff).

    I feel you should just tell him how you feel again and ask him to tell the truth if he thinks anything could ever happen, or it'll just play on your mind if you don't.
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    Your cons make it sound like you don't like him very much :lol:
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    Thanks, I will definitely ask him the next chance I get. Can you please look at my second post in this thread?

    -strawberry- I am just frustrated with him lol. I think a lot of my cons are biased, but I think it's kind of difficult to be objective.
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    (Original post by Minor6th)
    Thanks, I will definitely ask him the next chance I get. Can you please look at my second post in this thread?

    -strawberry- I am just frustrated with him lol. I think a lot of my cons are biased, but I think it's kind of difficult to be objective.
    I get the whole cons thing. You can think someone's amazing whilst still being aware of their flaws and getting frustrated, particularly in a case like this where they will not make a move. I know the feeling
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    (Original post by Minor6th)
    Hello all, thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I want to preface by saying that if you are answering my post and would like me to answer yours as well, please leave the link to yours in your answer and I will be more than happy to return the help.

    I really like this guy who is going into his third year of medical school (we're in the US), so he will be in the hospital doing rotations all the time and I basically won't see him again for at least a whole year. I've known him for almost a year now and have been sending him signals for 9 months (he definitely knows I like him because I told him). I was afraid to get close to him because I know he is super busy and won't have time to dedicate to any type of relationship with me.

    I might have done the right thing for my incredibly delicate heart by not getting too involved with him but I still feel like **** because I truly cared for him. I would have done anything for him. I really want to be with him but circumstances won't allow us.

    I just need someone to tell me it will be alright and why/how, please. I'm in such pain right now. I don't want to move on from him and forget about him forever because he was such a beautiful person inside and out, and I really feel like I lost a rare opportunity with this guy. Thank you so much.

    Please read my list of pros and cons about him:

    Pros:
    • we have a lot in common (we're from NYC, went to the same magnet high schools, we have the same friends)
    • he's beautiful, the most gorgeous creature I have ever laid my eyes on
    • he's sweet, gentle, and compassionate
    • is brilliant as hell, goes to Harvard (just like me, I'm an undergraduate)
    • is exactly the guy I'm incredibly sexually and intellectually attracted to
    • he's shy just like me so we've been very understanding with each other of this limitation
    • he was still willing to talk to me even after I told him I was into him (usually if a guy knows you like him and is not into you he'd avoid you right?)
    • seems to have tact, so is knowledgeable about how social situations should go but is unsure of how to act in them, which I don't mind
    • if we're together, our friends and families are conveniently in the same city so we can travel together, spend holidays together, etc
    • Cons:
    • he is perhaps the biggest pussy I have ever dealt with (unable to approach me, is maybe shyer than I am)
    • doesn't seem to have any balls
    • he seems more insecure than the normal medical student at this particular med school
    • sucks at communicating online, but is not tech savvy to begin with to be fair
    • I had to chase after him like a beast, could not meet me halfway at all, I had to do all the work, although I know my crush on him is my issue entirely and not his responsibility.
    • doesn't seem to see the value in having someone as pretty, smart, understanding, and sweet like me chase so aggressively after him
    • is inexperienced and awkward when it comes to women and social situations in general, making it hard for me and him to connect during our limited amount of time together
    • might be battling with his sexual orientation, may be a closet gay or bisexual (more likely bisexual)
    • is in third year of med school so will disappear and not have time for anything but himself
    • is beautiful so he may attract people he's attracted to very soon, destroying my chances
    can't be asked really... it's nearly 3am,, so yeah...
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    Everytime I come to his school and sit down he would come over to me and say hi. I am wondering if this is because he is shy? I don't think a medical school student studying for the USMLE Step 1 exam would put in the effort to do that if he didn't like me, unless he desperately craved the attention...?

    I asked him out in January and he said he couldn't because he was so busy. I was so crushed that I avoided him for two months. After I felt I was ready to cross paths with him again, I ran into him. He was staring at me more, speaking loudly with his friends with his voice directed toward me as if trying to get me to look at him, and trying to talk to my friends more. He also continued coming over to say hi to me when he saw me around. His friend knows that I like him: a few weeks ago I passed him by while he had his back to me. He was talking to his friend and his friend said "She's behind you." He turned around expectantly and waved hello to me. Do you think he's that insecure to crave this attention from me? I know he is super busy and stressed because of the medical licensing exam, so you could take this into account?
 
 
 
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