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    This might be a long read, but I genuinely need advice. Firstly, i'm in a LDR (she's in NY while i'm in London). We were together for 9 months, and she ended it. Basically, she felt I didn't care about her. She stated that it had been 9 months, yet we'd only seen each other once, and that was when she made the effort to see me (despite the fact that she has College tuition to pay for..so it was very commendable and i'm extremely grateful that she did).

    I was unable to visit her as i'm in my final year of A-levels and as a result, my Mum was not willing to let me go. However, she eventually came around (post break-up) and let me visit (this was with money i'd earned via a part-time job btw). Now, here's the issue...

    A few days after breaking up with me, she hooked up with some guy at her university ;( it killed me...at first I thought it was strictly kissing, but it turns out that there was also oral sex involved. However, I love and care about her alot, and decided to exhibit nothing but compassion and forgiveness towards her. Recently, I went to New York to visit her and it was absolutely amazing. I had a great time, as did she. In addition to this, she's coming to London for a semester in September.

    However, I can't seem to get this image out of my head ;( I mean, I want to let it go, but I just can't for some reason. The thought of her doing those things with another guy kills me..but, she tells me that it wasn't her (and I don't think it was)..they weren't her true colours. I mean, she came all the way to see me despite the fact that she has college tuition fees to pay for (largely by herself as her parents don't have the financial means to support her). Maybe i'm being selfish? I don't know..she's a good person. I do love her, and i'm convinced she loves me. She didn't cheat once during the 9 months we were together. She says that she was just hurt as she felt that I didn't care, and i'm really trying to look at things from her perspective and be understanding. I'm just unsure of how to get this thought out of my head? Should I even be angry about this, considering all she's done for me? How do I let it go? ;(

    thank you so much for reading
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    Dude you can't really do anything about it, other than tell her and talk to her about it.
    I would be angry about it, I get jealous over smaller things then that.
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    But, if she truly loved me, would she have done that? idk..I guess everyone reacts to heartbreak differently?? ;(
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    (Original post by batboy113)
    But, if she truly loved me, would she have done that? idk..I guess everyone reacts to heartbreak differently?? ;(
    You've got a good point. If you know she definitely did it question her about it.
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    Stop loving her and move on or get used to seeing her with other guys whilst you stay as the emotional doormat.

    The first option is for the best, the second will only eat you up and make you feel like ****. She has already shown you how easy it is to forget you and hook up with others. It'll probably happen again in my opinion assuming you are no longer together. You should definitely talk to her about it though, I'm sorry if this sounded harsh.
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    Oh, maybe I didn't make it very clear but we're actually back together...however, it still hurts knowing that she moved on that fast..she says that it was a mistake and that she was just hurt (and felt like I didn't care) at the time
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    I think you're really overreacting. Yes I understand it must feel unpleasant but she didn't do it to hurt you and you weren't together then. She was hurt and upset too and just acting out. Talk to her about it but you really don't have the right to he upset with her as she didn't cheat on you and was in fact a good girlfriend. Try not to make it into a big deal and move past it.
 
 
 
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