Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

How to cope with a clingy, controlling girlfriend? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I love her to pieces but it's getting out of hand now.

    She won't let me see my friends. If I do, she won't speak to me for days.

    She sulks if I spend time alone. She expects us to spend every waking minute together.

    She complains that I don't compliment her enough, even though I tell her she's beautiful and that I love her every day.

    She accuses me of looking at other girls, even though I have reassured her I do not want anyone but her.

    She has not dated anyone before me and is quite emotionally immature. We have only been dating for 7 months but I would of thought things would have calmed down by now. If anything, they seem to be getting worse.

    Any advice?
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Looks like you have a bad case of oneitis, dump that bish and move on already
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Move country bro
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    Face it mate they''re never happy.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    talk to her about it - try and be understanding but explain that your relationship will benefit from alone time etc. You'll have more to talk about. But if she doesn't co-operate give her an ultimatum, it's not fair on you if you can't have a life outside of your relationship. If she does change - great, if she doesn't - it's your call.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    if talking to her doesnt work then break up with her. Controlling people are not ever worth changing your entire life over.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    In all seriousness, just talk to her reasonably and explain your point of you. Don't accuse her of being clingy or controlling. This won't go down well. Key is communication - you just need to let her know how you feel. Honestly, don't make her out to be the bad person. Its just not good in the long run. She probably needs you to assure her before she prompts you, i.e. when you've got a nice quiet moment together, say let her know she's the only girl in your life, you love her a lot and wouldn't do anything to hurt her. So she needn't worry about anything. All you need is a bit of space and time to spend with your friends - this doesn't mean you care for her any less etc.

    Another solution - maybe invite her out with your friends one evening so she gets to know them. Once she's familiar with them, she might be less controlling/afraid of "letting" you go! Best of luck mate!
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Mate, get out of there while you still can...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    To be honest she sounds a lot like me when I'm in a relationship

    I think the best thing to do (from my experience) like everyone else suggests, is to talk to her about it. If she can't see that you need space and that you shouldn't have to compliment her more than once every day then try to compromise a bit - like she gives you your own space yet you compliment her maybe twice that day so the needs of both people in the relationship are met.

    But if she still can't take it after you compromise, or you don't think it's working, then turn the situation on its head and put some of the burden on her. Granted this might make things worse, but maybe then she'll see how 'immature' (as you put it) her behaviour is. This is what my ex did to me and actually it worked, we did compromise but I was still being immature and so she flipped it on its head and showed my immaturity in its true light. So I stopped - just about.

    If that fails then it might be that you have to break up with her if you can't take it. Maybe you two just aren't emotionally compatible?

    All the best
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    bunny boiler alert!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    You call that a relationship?? Either make her change or leave this 'relationship'. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I'm saying it for your own sake, and I want you to be happy. (I want everyone in the world to be happy (: )


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I love her to pieces but it's getting out of hand now.

    She won't let me see my friends. If I do, she won't speak to me for days.

    She sulks if I spend time alone. She expects us to spend every waking minute together.

    She complains that I don't compliment her enough, even though I tell her she's beautiful and that I love her every day.

    She accuses me of looking at other girls, even though I have reassured her I do not want anyone but her.

    She has not dated anyone before me and is quite emotionally immature. We have only been dating for 7 months but I would of thought things would have calmed down by now. If anything, they seem to be getting worse.

    Any advice?
    Get rid of her before she wears you down further, she is ruining your life, my ex was exactly like this.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    abort abort, she's obviously a wreck
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I love her to pieces but it's getting out of hand now.

    She won't let me see my friends. If I do, she won't speak to me for days.

    She sulks if I spend time alone. She expects us to spend every waking minute together.

    She complains that I don't compliment her enough, even though I tell her she's beautiful and that I love her every day.

    She accuses me of looking at other girls, even though I have reassured her I do not want anyone but her.

    She has not dated anyone before me and is quite emotionally immature. We have only been dating for 7 months but I would of thought things would have calmed down by now. If anything, they seem to be getting worse.

    Any advice?
    Get rid. Seriously, just get rid.

    It's laudable and very sweet that you love her, but her own actions would indicate that she doesn't have the same love and respect for you. If this is what she's like, I can assure you it won't get better.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Ask yourself this.
    Do you see a future with her?
    Is there a moment when you realised that the relationship was over?
    Is she clinging because she is hiding something?
    If she's not worth the trouble, it's best to break up with her. If you've tried speaking to her about it and she doesn't listen, leave.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Doesn't sound healthy to me, and it probably isn't going to get better. She needs to overcome her insecurities over time.

    You've only ever had two options: Break up, or grin and bear it. I know what I'd do. I couldn't handle it, and it certainly wouldn't be good for me. I doubt it is for you either.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Pride)
    Mate, get out of there while you still can...
    He's going to get trapped when he has sex with her.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I love her to pieces but it's getting out of hand now.

    She won't let me see my friends. If I do, she won't speak to me for days.

    She sulks if I spend time alone. She expects us to spend every waking minute together.

    She complains that I don't compliment her enough, even though I tell her she's beautiful and that I love her every day.

    She accuses me of looking at other girls, even though I have reassured her I do not want anyone but her.

    She has not dated anyone before me and is quite emotionally immature. We have only been dating for 7 months but I would of thought things would have calmed down by now. If anything, they seem to be getting worse.

    Any advice?
    Im going to try and give some proper sensible advice here.

    In my first relationship i was VERY controlling and clingy. Because I was insecure. Looking back it was terrible and I regret it a lot.

    However, firstly, realise she is doing it because she is insecure. Sit down and have a really good talk with her, explain how important she is to you but you need a life outside of your relationship as well.

    Also, it will only get worse. Trust me, these things rarely improve if nothing is done VERY QUICKLY about it. It WILL settle into a pattern and it will be your life.

    You MUST talk to her.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    That could be interpreted as emotional abuse, certainly that would be the instant conclusion if it was the other way round. Tell her you won't put up with it and she has to stop acting like a pathetic teenager. You may need to dump her: do not overvalue her because she is a girl.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 18, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.