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    I went on a couple of dates with this guy, he seemed really nice, last week we kissed. It wasn't brilliant but I thought that first kisses mostly aren't. Then met up again this Monday and he's getting more and more involved, I on the other hand am getting more and more turned off. I can't imagine sleeping with him (he's already invited me to sleep over this weekend), to be honest I don't think I shall ever want to be with him long-term, I just don't feel that my heart is in it and I don't even want to be physically close to him in any way. Do you think I am being narrow-minded and I should give it more time? But seriously, the very thought of having to kiss him again makes me go ugh... So what do I do/how do I break up with him so as not to hurt him?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I went on a couple of dates with this guy, he seemed really nice, last week we kissed. It wasn't brilliant but I thought that first kisses mostly aren't. Then met up again this Monday and he's getting more and more involved, I on the other hand am getting more and more turned off. I can't imagine sleeping with him (he's already invited me to sleep over this weekend), to be honest I don't think I shall ever want to be with him long-term, I just don't feel that my heart is in it and I don't even want to be physically close to him in any way. Do you think I am being narrow-minded and I should give it more time? But seriously, the very thought of having to kiss him again makes me go ugh... So what do I do/how do I break up with him so as not to hurt him?

    Just tell him.

    A break up is never going to not hurt someone so just hope he mans up..
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    (Original post by LSeeber1)
    Just tell him.

    A break up is never going to not hurt someone so just hope he mans up..
    tell him how though? and is it that you forewarn them in advance (i dont think he suspects anything)? and that day when you meet up, you still greet with a kiss? how do these things work?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    tell him how though? and is it that you forewarn them in advance (i dont think he suspects anything)? and that day when you meet up, you still greet with a kiss? how do these things work?

    If you want, just text him which will save you meeting up with him. It's not as if he's a long term boyfriend so you shouldn't feel the need to 'dump' him face to face.

    If you do meet up with him, get straight to the point, don't greet with a kiss. Just tell him you need to talk and say how you feel.
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    You dont owe this guy anything. You have been on a few dates, in no way does that mean you cant change your mind.

    The whole point of dating is in a way to 'try before you buy'.

    If I was you I would give him a call or facebook or text (depending how long youve know him) and explain you dont feel its working as there isnt a spark for you but you would like to stay friends.

    I actually use kissing as a bit of a guide...I always find theres some guys I just really click with...mine and my boyfriends first kiss was great
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    (Original post by LSeeber1)
    If you want, just text him which will save you meeting up with him. It's not as if he's a long term boyfriend so you shouldn't feel the need to 'dump' him face to face.

    If you do meet up with him, get straight to the point, don't greet with a kiss. Just tell him you need to talk and say how you feel.
    (Original post by pinkangelgirl)
    You dont owe this guy anything. You have been on a few dates, in no way does that mean you cant change your mind.

    The whole point of dating is in a way to 'try before you buy'.

    If I was you I would give him a call or facebook or text (depending how long youve know him) and explain you dont feel its working as there isnt a spark for you but you would like to stay friends.

    I actually use kissing as a bit of a guide...I always find theres some guys I just really click with...mine and my boyfriends first kiss was great
    I've known him less than a month. is it appropriate to do this not face to face then? we only kissed last week, but things were going well before that, we both seem to want the same (ie long term relationship), we were in contact every day, but kissing him doesn't feel right and I have gone off him. I am sure he suspects nothing and has high hopes for us, so don't know what's appropriate or how to break it to him.
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    (Original post by pinkangelgirl)
    You dont owe this guy anything. You have been on a few dates, in no way does that mean you cant change your mind.

    The whole point of dating is in a way to 'try before you buy'.

    If I was you I would give him a call or facebook or text (depending how long youve know him) and explain you dont feel its working as there isnt a spark for you but you would like to stay friends.

    I actually use kissing as a bit of a guide...I always find theres some guys I just really click with...mine and my boyfriends first kiss was great
    btw yes, even that first kiss didn't feel right. should i have told him after that? does that not make me expect too much too soon?

    i can just imagine him saying that he really likes me and how can i know after such a short time etc, making me out as though i was really narrow minded. do you think I am? could my feelings change? could he grow on me?
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    If you're not happy with him then don't be with him! You've got to think of yourself and its not like you have commited to anything yet! If you continue this and still feel the same then it'll just be harder to break it off! and if he was to find out how you really felt it would probably hurt him more!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    btw yes, even that first kiss didn't feel right. should i have told him after that? does that not make me expect too much too soon?

    i can just imagine him saying that he really likes me and how can i know after such a short time etc, making me out as though i was really narrow minded. do you think I am? could my feelings change? could he grow on me?
    Honestly, yes he could grow on you. But Ive done that before and in the end the relationship failed.

    If you are not feeling the spark or chemistry right now then chances are it wont come.

    I think its fine to say it over text, at the end of the day you are just 'dating' you arent a couple yet. Just explain there isnt anything there for you more than friendship.

    Obviously, I dont mean judge someone by their kiss, but Im saying for me, I know if im going to click with someone if we click on our kiss.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    btw yes, even that first kiss didn't feel right. should i have told him after that? does that not make me expect too much too soon?

    i can just imagine him saying that he really likes me and how can i know after such a short time etc, making me out as though i was really narrow minded. do you think I am? could my feelings change? could he grow on me?
    You should put an end to it now, it is better than just stringing him along.
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    If you're not happy, you've got to look out for yourself first here. Regardless of how you do it he will be hurt.
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    (Original post by pinkangelgirl)
    Honestly, yes he could grow on you. But Ive done that before and in the end the relationship failed.

    If you are not feeling the spark or chemistry right now then chances are it wont come.

    I think its fine to say it over text, at the end of the day you are just 'dating' you arent a couple yet. Just explain there isnt anything there for you more than friendship.

    Obviously, I dont mean judge someone by their kiss, but Im saying for me, I know if im going to click with someone if we click on our kiss.
    we've already kissed. so this is still dating. when do you become a couple? by sleeping together? if i slept with him this weekend and said no afterwards, I couldn't do that in text?

    I'd just like to know when it is appropriate to do things in text rather than in person and also what's the best way of going about things. one of my friends was in a similar situation, then the guy started pleading with her , saying how he really likes her and how can she know already?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    we've already kissed. so this is still dating. when do you become a couple? by sleeping together? if i slept with him this weekend and said no afterwards, I couldn't do that in text?

    I'd just like to know when it is appropriate to do things in text rather than in person and also what's the best way of going about things. one of my friends was in a similar situation, then the guy started pleading with her , saying how he really likes her and how can she know already?
    you become a couple when you both discuss it and decide to go exclusive.
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    Just say you think it is way too soon to be sleeping over at his, if you think you want to get to know him better - you have to slow things down.

    If you really aren't feeling it, just be brave and honest and tell him - you haven't been dating for long, he'll get over it soon, and the clearer you get the message across, the easier it will be for him to just move on.

    You are more of a ***** if you don't tell him out of fear that you will hurt his feelings - as all you will do is drag out the inevitable, and it will reflect badly on you.
    So just call/text him and say how you feel (or don't feel).
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    You aren't a couple yet, this happened to me recently and i got given a lot of stick for dragging it out in the hope that he would grow on me and i'd start liking him but it never happened and by the time i called it off with him he was about to ask me to make it official, i felt terrible

    So just do it now, don't drag it out, it's only going to make you feel worse. You shouldn't have to force it to make a relationship work with someone, that's what dating is about; to find out if you like someone enough to make them your girlfriend/boyfriend.
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    (Original post by pinkangelgirl)
    you become a couple when you both discuss it and decide to go exclusive.
    seriously?

    so even when I've kissed someone I can still go on other dates with other guys?

    one guy once told me that kissing is the beginning of a relationship and from then on people should be exclusive.

    I have so little experience of what's acceptable or not...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    seriously?

    so even when I've kissed someone I can still go on other dates with other guys?

    one guy once told me that kissing is the beginning of a relationship and from then on people should be exclusive.

    I have so little experience of what's acceptable or not...
    lol its when youve discussed seeing each other exclusively.
 
 
 
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