Gfs pregnant Watch

dan1982
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#21
Report 12 years ago
#21
If i were you id go see her now, maybe its a bit late for you! Or at least make sure she knows your there for her.
0
reply
zain88
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#22
Report 12 years ago
#22
You can be a supportive father without being the mother's partner. It's not the best way imo but you shouldn't feel that you NEED to love her/marry her etc just because she has your baby. If you do it's great! But don't tie yourself to her if you don't love her because it will just make both of you unhappy. I mean in the long run. I know you must have a lot to think about just now, so think things through slowly and carefully. If she has only just found out herself that she is pregnant then give her a little bit of time before you talk things through. Make sure you are thinking rationally when you do. Chances are, right now neither of you are, so give it time before you make some decisions etc.
0
reply
ladygrey
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#23
Report 12 years ago
#23
(Original post by troubled_guy)
Ok well nobody knows except her and me now. God knows how long she's known...

I've talked about it briefly and she says she doesn't know what to do but she doesn't think she could have an abortion or give it away.

I can't really see myself with her for the long haul, but i dunno these things can change. Guess my option's already been chosen
hmm... well not that there's anything you can do about it now...but seems as though she should have thought things out a little better. Had you been having unprotected sex, or was this just a one-off mistake?
0
reply
troubled_guy
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#24
Report 12 years ago
#24
She doesn't seem bothered at all. Not worried one bit. I'm 10x worse than how she is. I guess she's had a lil more time to come to terms with it

I want to go uni and stuff and i have the grades etc. to do it and do well but this is just my life turning upside down
0
reply
Drogue
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#25
Report 12 years ago
#25
Get her to seriously think about adoption or abortion. Don't pressure her, but make sure she talks to a healthcare professional who can advise her and show her all the options available. After that, if she keeps it, you can still go to university and do everything else, and while you would have to contribute maintainance when you're earning, that's when you're earning. The main issue of support is psychological - you're going to be a father, so it's now a serious relationship. That's a lot to deal with, and you and her will go through a lot over the next 6 months, and then 18 years after. Obviously it's your choice what you do, whether you stick together, but remember that when you have a child, you're feelings may change about a lot of things.

Good luck, and from a personal point of view, I'd offer two bits of advice: don't let it stop you from going to university, but be prepared for a lot more responsibility and for you to change a lot emotionally.
0
reply
troubled_guy
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#26
Report 12 years ago
#26
We'd been using condoms untill a month ago when she went on the pill
Seeing each other for 9 months now
0
reply
zain88
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#27
Report 12 years ago
#27
It's not your life turning upside down! I hope you're not going to become depressed or anything!! You still have some options. Maybe she won't want you to feel burdened so she will say she wants to bring this baby up herself. Or maybe she will say she wants you to live with the baby and her 24/7. Or maybe she will say that its ok if you go to uni and see her and the baby every weekend. You don't know yet! Just talk through it with her to see what SHE wants from you, and what YOU are willing to sacrifice.
0
reply
blissy
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#28
Report 12 years ago
#28
Scary stuff. I know this is unhelpful, but I really wouldn't want to go out with someone who fathered a baby at 16 and had all that business to deal with.

Sex has some huge consequences!
0
reply
zain88
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#29
Report 12 years ago
#29
You seem like a really nice guy btw, I mean you're considering not going to uni and being with her and everything. A lot of guys would be like **** it i'm out of here! so good on you for being mature about it. Hope everything goes well for ya!
0
reply
JadedHippy
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#30
Report 12 years ago
#30
Well, first of all there is nothing stopping people with children going to university.

Second.... are you sure she is telling the truth? both that she is pregnant and you are the dad.

Jaded
0
reply
troubled_guy
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#31
Report 12 years ago
#31
I'm gonna try and ask her to end it but i don't think she's up for the idea at all. Does anyone know how far gone it is before abortion is no longer an option?
0
reply
Caribou
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#32
Report 12 years ago
#32
24 weeks i think. thats what i remember from pse in year 11...
0
reply
Troy :0)
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#33
Report 12 years ago
#33
(Original post by troubled_guy)
I can't support her i'm doing my A levels got an exam tomorrow

I'm supposed 2 be going to uni...apparently not

It's not as bad as it feels at first. My gf became pregnant when we were both 16 and we decided to have it. I still managed to get good GCSEs, and went to uni, although it was a bit later.

Don't stress out too much, you can still go to uni, but maybe take a few gap years and earn some money? Once the child goes to school at 4, it's much cheaper and you can start thinking about uni.

It does however mean you'll be in contact with this girl for the rest of your life, and if you don;t really like her, that can be a HUGE problem!
0
reply
mypaperheart
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#34
Report 12 years ago
#34
24 weeks?
0
reply
Sheen
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#35
Report 12 years ago
#35
(Original post by troubled_guy)
I'm gonna try and ask her to end it but i don't think she's up for the idea at all.
if shes set on having the baby i dont see how you can change her mind.
does she really think she will be able to cope?
how do you think both your rents will take it?
0
reply
troubled_guy
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#36
Report 12 years ago
#36
She's agreed to take a test I bought tomorrow but she's been complaining of stomach pains for bout a month now. And stubbornly refusing to go to the doctors of course. But if she is it will be mine. I'm 100% sure of that.
0
reply
bcr8iv
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#37
Report 12 years ago
#37
I would imagine, once both your parents are informed, they would be more than willing to help out with child care (once they get over the shock that their baby is having a baby!). If you both go to university in the same city as both your parents, you can apply for accomodation espeically for couples or live at one of your parents. Then prehaps you could study at uni and your g/f and your parents could look after the kid?

It's hard to offer advice if you don't know the whole picture though. Don't close any doors, and look for ways to keep a door open that you think might have to be closed. You need to talk to her and make decisions.

If it happend to me and my gf, I imagine we would both move into my parents house as theirs loads of room, and we'd both travel into uni and the childcare would be split between the four of us plus her parents. But thats because we're both at manchester uni's and both our parents are from manchester...such a situation will most likely not be the same for you.

Good luck
0
reply
Troy :0)
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#38
Report 12 years ago
#38
(Original post by troubled_guy)
I'm gonna try and ask her to end it but i don't think she's up for the idea at all. Does anyone know how far gone it is before abortion is no longer an option?

That's a serious step and personally I think it's the wrong thing to do. Would you both consider adoption?
0
reply
Sexy Plexi
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#39
Report 12 years ago
#39
I'm impressed by how mature you're being about this, and that you're taking responisbility. However, so many people are advocating adoption/ abortion.... that's a decision she has to make on her own. You're both far to young IMO to be parents- hell, at 19 I'd be too young- but it's ultimately her call..her body bla bla bla. Her being pressured by people into terminating the pregnancy or giving it away when she's in two minds about it could **** her up big time and make her have regrets for the rest of her life. Tell both sets of parents ASAP, the sooner the better even though it'll be a bombshell. Good luck.
0
reply
dan1982
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#40
Report 12 years ago
#40
I dont mean to be harsh, but i think some of you suggesting adoption is rediculous. He not 10, 16 is still young yes, but old enough.

I think he should buck up and think about being a father and how good it will be, buckle down and get money. Start a life, it has been done before.
Im gona step away now and say one thing.

GOOD LUCK, and congrats.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you registered to vote?

Yes! (302)
37.52%
No - but I will (61)
7.58%
No - I don't want to (60)
7.45%
No - I can't vote (<18, not in UK, etc) (382)
47.45%

Watched Threads

View All