Gfs pregnant Watch

Hanzing
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#61
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#61
Wow, Thats a pretty big situation to handle. . Its a tough decision and hard for parents so young. But talk to her about the options she has, Tell her your views.
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twiga
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#62
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#62
(Original post by troubled_guy)
I realise and accept that I'm in deep **** but I took all precautions I could have taken and as for the baby, I agree that I couldn't be a good father to it at my age but, being male and all, I ultimatly have no real say in the matter so all I can do is try and persuade, and if I fail try and be as good a father as I can.
Dude - you have an exam tomorrow - GO TO BED :p:
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zain88
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#63
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#63
^^ yeah i agree!!! Beat it!
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troubled_guy
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#64
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#64
:p:

Indeed, bye
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PlayboyBunny
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#65
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#65
It's only 00:57.
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twiga
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#66
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#66
(Original post by Jason Mraz)
It's only 00:57.
Exam minus 8 hrs :p:
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PlayboyBunny
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#67
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#67
But it's 16:01 here and it's weird seeing you guys stressing.
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twiga
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#68
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#68
(Original post by Jason Mraz)
But it's 16:01 here and it's weird seeing you guys stressing.
Lol stress is part of life at this time of year.

I'm embracing it with my Redbull and chocolate biscuits to help me with my courseowrk
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Tonight Matthew
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#69
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#69
(Original post by Anonymous)
WTF do i do?
Wear a condom next time. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! cheers.
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Sheen
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#70
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#70
(Original post by Tonight Matthew)
Wear a condom next time. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! cheers.
they dont always work
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Jonatan
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#71
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#71
(Original post by troubled_guy)
I realise and accept that I'm in deep **** but I took all precautions I could have taken and as for the baby, I agree that I couldn't be a good father to it at my age but, being male and all, I ultimatly have no real say in the matter so all I can do is try and persuade, and if I fail try and be as good a father as I can.
There are plenty of support and advice you can get. Also, try to get her to go see a doctor for an examination.

Furthermore you may very well be able to go to university. Heck my mom studied medecine while I was a kid ( tho she was much older ).
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Dramatic Star
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#72
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I think both really good advice has already been given already but I'll have my imput.

Yeah you are young but old enough to have a child. It's no good looking back- it's already happened. If your gf wants the baby, there is nothing legally you can do. You say you'll stand by her which would be the mature thing to do. You are lucky in that education is a lot more flexible than it ever has been & you have the option to take a year out even at A Levels.

Having a baby doesn't have to ruin your life unless you let it. Yes, it will change your life. However way you deal with it, you won't have the same amount of freedom & whether or not you want to stay with your gf, you will have to be in contact with her for the rest of your life if you want to see your child.
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Marie05
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#73
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(Original post by Jason Mraz)
Do what Marie05 says - wait 'til you're 17 then do it.
lol what?! please clarify.. :rolleyes:
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pendragon
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#74
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#74
(Original post by Sheen)
awww no!
thats way to young to be having a baby.
to think theres adults who want kids and try for them and cant have any but then theres 16 and 15 year old that do it once and BAM theres a baby! :rolleyes:
Don't you think nature is trying to tell us something?

Obviously we are supposed to be having children between 16 and 20, but a lot of us would rather put it off until our early 30's. Funny we try and build up a social consensus that supports our current values about when people should be having sex and children, and yet nature is out there thwarting our attempts to control it.
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woeful_infatuation
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#75
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(Original post by pendragon)
Don't you think nature is trying to tell us something?

Obviously we are supposed to be having children between 16 and 20, but a lot of us would rather put it off until our early 30's. Funny we try and build up a social consensus that supports our current values about when people should be having sex and children, and yet nature is out there thwarting our attempts to control it.
I agree.. It really annoys me that everybody's so tainted by people's opinions and they don't seen see the most obvious answer.. Nature.. 16 is young but why would nature make us able to have children at that age if we weren't ready. Is it wrong just because other people say it is or because we NEED to finish school first and blahblahblah....

It makes me sad seeing people tell others what to do.. For example.. I just turned 18 a few months ago but i've never smoked or drunken any alcohol in my life, still as soon as I turned 18 everybody said i was now "legal" and asked if it wasn't "cool"..
Just because I would now be legal to drink doesnt mean I would necessarily choose to.
It's a bit similar to being pregnant excpet there's no law as to when you're "allowed" to have babies. So don't feel like you shouldn't have the baby just cuz nobody else has and cuz society sees it as wrong. If I had drunken everytime someone asked me, just to "fit in" I'd be an alcoholic now..

I really wish you all the best on your exams and i'm sure you'll do the right thig.. Just don't let anyone pressure YOU into anything. I mean don't listen to people telling you to have an abortion or to give up the baby or "punch her in the stomach real hard", but instead listen to your heart.. Aren't you maybe just saying you're not ready because that's what society expects? Doesn'tit make sense that you are ready because why else would it have come to this..
Just be optimistic and am sure eveything will work itself out.. Good luck and whatever you decide make sure it's what YOU and your girlfiend want..

All the best..
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pendragon
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#76
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(Original post by woeful_infatuation)
I agree.. It really annoys me that everybody's so tainted by people's opinions and they don't seen see the most obvious answer.. Nature.. 16 is young but why would nature make us able to have children at that age if we weren't ready. Is it wrong just because other people say it is or because we NEED to finish school first and blahblahblah....

Aren't you maybe just saying you're not ready because that's what society expects? Doesn'tit make sense that you are ready because why else would it have come to this..
Exactly, OP throughout most of human history men have become fathers at your age or died in wars at your age. If you want to be responsible of course you can be, we just have a culture which promotes a divide between mature adults and childish teenagers. In America you are a kid till you are 21. Many people in their early 30's are still not ready to have children and some people would be ready at 15. I honestly think that my character as a person has not changed fundamentally since I was 14. Make your own choices in life because its you who will have to deal with the consequences, and excuses that you were young don't really help you much.

Personally I would advise you to try and go to uni and be involved in the child's life, without getting married to the girl unless you really love her and felt you were on that track before the pregnancy. You cannot let one mistake lead to another, and just because you are having a baby together does not mean you have to get married and settle down with her for the rest of your life, that might end in another disaster. In terms of uni, it would also be mature to recognise that education is important and a degree will put you in a better standing to make a posative contribution - financially and in other ways - to the child's life. Good luck with your exams and think carefully before making serious life decisions of this kind.
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Drogue
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#77
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(Original post by pendragon)
Don't you think nature is trying to tell us something?

Obviously we are supposed to be having children between 16 and 20, but a lot of us would rather put it off until our early 30's. Funny we try and build up a social consensus that supports our current values about when people should be having sex and children, and yet nature is out there thwarting our attempts to control it.
True, but nature takes millions of years to change. 500 years ago, raising a child meant providing food, shelter and clothing for it. Today, it means teaching it about the world. A 16 year old may be physically ready for it, but raising a well balanced kid requires life experience. It's not about it fitting in with the adults life, but to fit in with modern living, it's not enough for the child to be supported purely in material concerns. It's not a social consensus, it's that life's moved on. Having children is no longer about you, it's about the child.

Humans are also meant to die at 40. Our bodies were not built for 70+ years of life, which is why we have artificial teeth, glasses, arthritis, strokes and heart attacks. However modern science has altered that. But imagine we still died at 30-40 - what use is education until the age of 21? What use is having children at 25 when you die before they're able to support themselves? Nature isn't that way because it's best, it's that way because for the past half a million years, it's been the only possible way. Now we live longer, education for longer makes sense, as does putting off things until past the previous natural time to do it.
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Caribou
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#78
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#78
(Original post by Drogue)
T

Humans are also meant to die at 40. Our bodies were not built for 70+ years of life, which is why we have artificial teeth, glasses, arthritis, strokes and heart attacks.
Not quite true, the main reason that we are living longer is that we have discovered how to care for our bodies... naturally, we've discovered the bodies needs.

Look at the Native Americans, or the Chinese/Japanese. Over the course of history the average age of natural death was a lot older than 40.

The only reason we died at 30/40 was lack of the knowledge of how to care for our bodies. e.g. i don't think many women use red mud contaminated with arsenic for make-up anymore.
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fakeplasticsmee
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#79
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You seem like a great guy, well done for sticking with her. If you both decide to have the baby, then theres no reason you can't carry on with your education. Think of this as the positive thing it should be, there's too much stigma over teenage pregnancy, if you hadn't taken precautions then I'd have no sympathy for you, but you did.

So try and focus on the amazing feelings you'll have when your baby's born and you and your gf are it's entire world. Even if you don't stay with her as bf/gf, make sure you stay close friends, it'll make everything so much easier.

Good luck teling your parents.
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Drogue
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#80
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#80
(Original post by pendragon)
It is very recently in human history that having a child at 16-18 has been considered unusual. I think university is great for those who are suited to it and it doesn't necessarily stop you raising an infant, but there are plenty of people who leave school at 16 and get jobs - are you saying they shouldnt have children? You can still marry at 16 with parental consent. I think the social retardation of young people so that we prolong a kind of childhood until 20 is ridiculous, and certainly it is a recent development in terms of what age we view as acceptable to have children.
I'm not really saying anything, more than that the argument that because it was normal many years ago it's perfectly fine to do. I think even a well paid 16 year old in a stable job is not as good a parent, on average, as a well paid 26 year old in a stable job. Raising a child is partly about providing for them physically, and partly about raising a child mentally. I don't think 16 year olds have the knowledge to teach a child, the life experience to have a good idea what is best for their child, nor is ready for the strength of emotional connection between parent and child.

My point is that when having children at 16 was normal, there wasn't the same need for life experience. Life is a lot more complicated now - we don't live in a subsistence society, we have many many more choices to make in life, and having an experienced guide is one of the most valuable things we can have. I believe my parents are wonderful not because they fed and clothed me for 21 years, but because they had the life experience to first decide what's best for me, then as I grew older to help me decide life's big decisions - what do I want to do? Who do I want to be? Whether it's teaching me when I was a toddler, which school to go to, what career I wanted to aim for, how to cope when relationships dissolved or when family members died, my parents used the fact that they've been through a lot before to be able to help me. Had my parents been 16 when I was born, they wouldn't have had the same amount of life experience to help me in that way.

Being a good parent isn't about age, but it is about maturity, life experience, finances and emotions. They all come with age, to a large extent.
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