Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I experienced bullying at a young age and never thought i would ever experience it during sixth form.
    I moved from a different city and managed to meet a few people, my friends at my new sixth form wouldn't even account to the number of my fingers on my one hand.They is a very very few people i can trust and i have learnt to be independent.


    Recently i was placed into a class with individuals that i had never had never met and they thought it was funny to make fun of me, my name precisely as it has a strange connotation and is very Victorian. A group of boys laughing,sniggering and making malicious inappropriate jokes and gestures in a pack of 6 can be very intimidating to a girl that is alone in the class and doesn't know many people.I have tried to rise above it and brush it off but today i was too much, i would hear my name every 3 minutes, i find it very strange as i don't even know these people... I nearly cracked and lost my temper as the jokes lately have become cruel and spiteful.I kept in control because i knew shouting would only accelerate and make them laugh even more and i didn't want to give them the satisfaction.As i was walking out of the room they couldn't even look me in the eye; they only do it if they are in a group of friends which is pretty pathetic.


    I thought i could just brush it off and be mature but I have realized that i have to address the issue as they won't let it go.Even though I am scared as I am alone in the class and they is a group of them and many more friends, if i don't defend myself no one else will.
    I want to address them in a way that I want to keep my cool whilst i get my point across.Do i just wait until they do it again and then nip it in the bud there? I am do not want to be spiteful nor repay them by the way they have treated me as that't not me. I just want to shut them up by putting them in their place .what type of thing should i say, i have to see them again and i'm pretty sure they could make more crude jokes and tell their group of friends therefore i just want to get my point across that i can hear everything they see and do not think it's remotely funny.
    My main issue is that they will deny it and make me come of as paranoid. any ideas how to deal with them?
    Online

    21
    ReputationRep:
    I'm not sure how to deal with the whole thing, but perhaps as you say when they are on their own they seem pathetic, look them in the eye and simply look. With a neutral face, as if to say what is there to laugh at? It might give you more confidence in the mean time that you can look them in the eye even if they can't. Sorry but I've not been in the same kind of situation so I'm not sure how to handle it.

    I'd suggest that getting yourself worked up and shouting at them isn't the way to solve it, though.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    Firstly what's your name?

    Secondly, you've brought this on yourself. You've allowed them to make fun of you, and because you've not responded you're a target and they will continue. If you could keep getting free money from an atm machine, why would you stop? lmao...
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anthony.BF)
    Firstly what's your name?

    Secondly, you've brought this on yourself. You've allowed them to make fun of you, and because you've not responded you're a target and they will continue. If you could keep getting free money from an atm machine, why would you stop? lmao...
    You're an idiot.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by HopefulMidwife)
    You're an idiot.

    (Original post by Anthony.BF)
    Firstly what's your name?

    Secondly, you've brought this on yourself. You've allowed them to make fun of you, and because you've not responded you're a target and they will continue. If you could keep getting free money from an atm machine, why would you stop? lmao...
    Why is he an idiot? To an extent I agree with him. Sure, this isn't supposed to happen and the OP doesn't deserve it but by not doing anything, you're signalling for them to continue.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Reform)
    Why is he an idiot? To an extent I agree with him. Sure, this isn't supposed to happen and the OP doesn't deserve it but by not doing anything, you're signalling for them to continue.
    Yes, that message is correct, but that was the wrong way to deliver it.

    I was bullied throughout my whole childhood. Only now, at the age of nearly 20, am I learning to protect myself, be aggressive when needs be and be assertive. It's not nice and it affected my confidence and self esteem a lot. It's all very well and good to be flippant and/or harsh to someone who is being bullied, but when you're the one being bullied, it's 100% different. Less blame on the victim, more blame on the perps.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I experienced bullying at a young age and never thought i would ever experience it during sixth form.
    I moved from a different city and managed to meet a few people, my friends at my new sixth form wouldn't even account to the number of my fingers on my one hand.They is a very very few people i can trust and i have learnt to be independent.


    Recently i was placed into a class with individuals that i had never had never met and they thought it was funny to make fun of me, my name precisely as it has a strange connotation and is very Victorian. A group of boys laughing,sniggering and making malicious inappropriate jokes and gestures in a pack of 6 can be very intimidating to a girl that is alone in the class and doesn't know many people.I have tried to rise above it and brush it off but today i was too much, i would hear my name every 3 minutes, i find it very strange as i don't even know these people... I nearly cracked and lost my temper as the jokes lately have become cruel and spiteful.I kept in control because i knew shouting would only accelerate and make them laugh even more and i didn't want to give them the satisfaction.As i was walking out of the room they couldn't even look me in the eye; they only do it if they are in a group of friends which is pretty pathetic.


    I thought i could just brush it off and be mature but I have realized that i have to address the issue as they won't let it go.Even though I am scared as I am alone in the class and they is a group of them and many more friends, if i don't defend myself no one else will.
    I want to address them in a way that I want to keep my cool whilst i get my point across.Do i just wait until they do it again and then nip it in the bud there? I am do not want to be spiteful nor repay them by the way they have treated me as that't not me. I just want to shut them up by putting them in their place .what type of thing should i say, i have to see them again and i'm pretty sure they could make more crude jokes and tell their group of friends therefore i just want to get my point across that i can hear everything they see and do not think it's remotely funny.
    My main issue is that they will deny it and make me come of as paranoid. any ideas how to deal with them?
    Tell them straight or tell someone of a higher position who is willing to settle things down.
    I've been through aggressive bullying, up to the point where people would spit at me and push me down. I made a mistake by not telling my parents or my counsellor till the last minute. By then it was a bit too late.

    You shouldn't be afraid of people who want you to be afraid. As for what you should say, tell them what common sense is and how they've not been using it. Then tell them how you feel about it and make them feel bad for what they've done.

    I hope you get to those *******s soon :console:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 20, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What's your favourite Christmas sweets?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.