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Night out with ex? How do I handle it Watch

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    So, here is my predicament. Split up with my ex, tried to win her round. Didn't work. Exaggerates to people how I'm trying to win her back. Tell her am moving on, she has a drink and suddenly 'wants' me. That lasts a couple of days, she says to be friends. A lot of issues get in the way and she now feels I used an incident to purposely 'get back at her'. I sent her a text calling her manipulative etc., she's forwarded the text on to mutual friends to turn her against me. Tried to reason with her, she won't have it. Keeps complaining to her friends that I'm still texting her, when I'm not. She's also suspicious of the fact that me and my previous ex are now getting on well as friends.

    So, she absolutely hates me. She's turned my friends against me and wants nothing to do with me. We have a night out this Saturday, which has been planned for months. I can't get out so have to go, as it's in a posh hotel thing.

    I'm wondering how I should be. Completely stay away from her? What if she has a drink, do you think she'll come near me - or has too much happened that she won't? I wouldn't go near her, am thinking about whether she tried anything with me, that could make people realise she's been lying to everyone.

    Advice?
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    Ignore her.
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    Take the high ground. It will drive her nuts. Also, try not to have something to prove to other people about her. Anyone with a brain knows how contrived things get after a break-up, they should be taking what she says with a pinch of salt.
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    (Original post by Yidette)
    Take the high ground. It will drive her nuts. Also, try not to have something to prove to other people about her. Anyone with a brain knows how contrived things get after a break-up, they should be taking what she says with a pinch of salt.
    I plan to get there, even though I know who she's manipulated into not liking me with the text I sent her, I'm gonna be as nice as pie to them all.

    Also, opinion from a girl. She claims to hate me, has turned people against me, says I can't be forgiven etc. etc.

    If she has a few drinks, will she act differently with me or won't alcohol make a difference?
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    sounds like love
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    I agree with the other poster who suggested to ignore her.
    After all the backstabbing she has done to you after you split up from her, I really would not want to talk to her at all...
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    (Original post by jonnykino)
    I plan to get there, even though I know who she's manipulated into not liking me with the text I sent her, I'm gonna be as nice as pie to them all.

    Also, opinion from a girl. She claims to hate me, has turned people against me, says I can't be forgiven etc. etc.

    If she has a few drinks, will she act differently with me or won't alcohol make a difference?
    Well you said she acts differently when she's had a few drinks before, right? Whilst that doesn't guarantee that it'll happen again, one thing's for sure: people drop their front when they're drunk. Guy or girl, drunk people are honest people.

    I can tell you what WILL make her act differently for sure: you not paying attention to her, or even paying attention to other girls. But there's a catch! You can't behave differently just for the purposes of getting her attention; she'll probably see through that and mock you even more. The point is to move on. So move on. It's over. Let her do whatever petty antics she wants.
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    (Original post by Yidette)
    Well you said she acts differently when she's had a few drinks before, right? Whilst that doesn't guarantee that it'll happen again, one thing's for sure: people drop their front when they're drunk. Guy or girl, drunk people are honest people.

    I can tell you what WILL make her act differently for sure: you not paying attention to her, or even paying attention to other girls. But there's a catch! You can't behave differently just for the purposes of getting her attention; she'll probably see through that and mock you even more. The point is to move on. So move on. It's over. Let her do whatever petty antics she wants.
    No no no, don't worry, I have moved on. I'm asking because, if she tried anything with me, it would make the people who she's turned against me realise she's not what she seem's. That's all I meant! I don't want to be with her, I just want people to realise what she's like.
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    Don't speak to her unless she speaks to you. If she does be civil, but don't ask her any questions about her life or keep the conversation going. With everyone else be the life and soul of the party.
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    (Original post by jonnykino)
    So, here is my predicament. Split up with my ex, tried to win her round. Didn't work. Exaggerates to people how I'm trying to win her back. Tell her am moving on, she has a drink and suddenly 'wants' me. That lasts a couple of days, she says to be friends. A lot of issues get in the way and she now feels I used an incident to purposely 'get back at her'. I sent her a text calling her manipulative etc., she's forwarded the text on to mutual friends to turn her against me. Tried to reason with her, she won't have it. Keeps complaining to her friends that I'm still texting her, when I'm not. She's also suspicious of the fact that me and my previous ex are now getting on well as friends.

    So, she absolutely hates me. She's turned my friends against me and wants nothing to do with me. We have a night out this Saturday, which has been planned for months. I can't get out so have to go, as it's in a posh hotel thing.

    I'm wondering how I should be. Completely stay away from her? What if she has a drink, do you think she'll come near me - or has too much happened that she won't? I wouldn't go near her, am thinking about whether she tried anything with me, that could make people realise she's been lying to everyone.

    Advice?

    1. Don't text, email, facebook message, twitter, call, or engage in any form of communication with her. Simply cut all contact.
    2. The fact that you were trying to win her back not too long ago shows that you're obviously not over her. Going to a function with her there will only cause more anxiety for you both, but if you HAVE to
    3. Ignore her, UNLESS she speaks to you. It that happens, be civil and short. Other than that, stay as far away from her as possible.
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    (Original post by jonnykino)
    No no no, don't worry, I have moved on. I'm asking because, if she tried anything with me, it would make the people who she's turned against me realise she's not what she seem's. That's all I meant! I don't want to be with her, I just want people to realise what she's like.
    people will see what they want to see, you cant make them see it from your point of view. They may or may not come round to the true picture eventually.

    As for her, be civil so that you dont appear rude, but other than that ignore her. Strike up conversation with someone else, or walk away to get a drink/go to the toilet/seek out a friend. Stick with a couple of friends throughout if possible and she will be less likely to try anything (:
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    Don't go. Just ditch her. Make a video at home and show it everyone later to prove you were really at home, in case she starts spreading out crap about how your date night went.
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    (Original post by jonnykino)
    No no no, don't worry, I have moved on. I'm asking because, if she tried anything with me, it would make the people who she's turned against me realise she's not what she seem's. That's all I meant! I don't want to be with her, I just want people to realise what she's like.
    Ok, well you're probably not going to get that satisfaction, because yours is not the Drama of the Century, it's not televised, it's not the talk of the town; in short, people don't care enough to look at her giving you attention (if she does) and go 'whooooooooa this changes everrrryyyythiiiiiing...!!!!!!'

    I know that YOU think this is huge, because YOU'RE in the situation; but trust me, other people don't care nearly as much as you think they do. Which is why you need to stop fretting over what they think. They probably don't think much; it's probably just 'oh, so-and-so broke up and now she says he's being a **** and he denies it and this'll all be forgotten about in a few weeks. What's for dinner?'
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    Well, I had the night out. It was OK, people were fine with me, apart from my ex, who was flaunting the fact she was chasing after some lad, then text me when I got home saying she's been talking to him on Facebook and he's liked her photos etc. Told her I didn't give a toss, and blocked her. Beforehand though, she came up to me and said "I'm drunk, but let's me civil, I'm not trying to get off with you".

    So did I do the right thing? And why the frig did she say she's not trying to get off with me?? I never wanted her to!
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    (Original post by jonnykino)
    So did I do the right thing? And why the frig did she say she's not trying to get off with me?? I never wanted her to!
    She said it because, like the vast majority of females her age she is simutaneously gassed (She is young and female and had her ex trying to win her back so she thinks she is invincible) and insecure about her place in society (So she decides to trash you, in public and in private to make herself feel better without thinking things through). And because nobody will call her out on her behaviour.

    Of course the former is partly your fault, and presents us with a reason why, if she cannot be crushed totally she should be shut out of your life absolutely, but that's another argument totally............
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    (Original post by jonnykino)
    Well, I had the night out. It was OK, people were fine with me, apart from my ex, who was flaunting the fact she was chasing after some lad, then text me when I got home saying she's been talking to him on Facebook and he's liked her photos etc. Told her I didn't give a toss, and blocked her. Beforehand though, she came up to me and said "I'm drunk, but let's me civil, I'm not trying to get off with you".

    So did I do the right thing? And why the frig did she say she's not trying to get off with me?? I never wanted her to!
    Aha.

    Your ex is truly gassed.

    You did the right thing and continue to ignore her. Don't text her back either. In fact, delete her number.
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    (Original post by llegend)
    Have sex with her.
    Definitely this. One for the road etc.

    After that, I'd ignore her. She is turning every little thing against you. Don't give her ammunition.
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    Played it superbly mate, well done.
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    Still ignoring, but one of her friends messaged me before. Her friend told me she's told my ex to stop texting me... but I'm still getting blocked texts. She also told me my ex is seeing someone -- then sent me a picture of the guy she's seeing. This guy, she got with a WEEK after we split up, apparently. Her mate then proceeded to tell me how he's 'rather large and ginger', and my ex can't cope being single. I don't know why she needed to tell me that, but she did. She then told me my ex is scared of leaving the house due to anxiety and she's been trying to tell me. Which really annoyed me because a few years back I was a recluse... due to anxiety, which my ex knows about.

    I haven't responded to my ex still. The hell is going on?

    Stupid boot.
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    (Original post by jonnykino)
    Still ignoring, but one of her friends messaged me before. Her friend told me she's told my ex to stop texting me... but I'm still getting blocked texts. She also told me my ex is seeing someone -- then sent me a picture of the guy she's seeing. This guy, she got with a WEEK after we split up, apparently. Her mate then proceeded to tell me how he's 'rather large and ginger', and my ex can't cope being single. I don't know why she needed to tell me that, but she did. She then told me my ex is scared of leaving the house due to anxiety and she's been trying to tell me. Which really annoyed me because a few years back I was a recluse... due to anxiety, which my ex knows about.

    I haven't responded to my ex still. The hell is going on?

    Stupid boot.
    Pretty simple, she is trying to make you jealous.
 
 
 
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