virgin masturbating to prepare for ONS

I'm a virgin (female) but I want to start having casual sex. I don't want to wait until I find the 'right' partner or whatever.

I've started masturbating and using objects increasing in size until I can fit in a dildo the size of a penis comfortably.

Will i still bleed/have pain my first time despite stretching myself and getting used to the feeling of penetration first? Also will the ONS tell I'm a virgin?

I've done everything but penetration with lots of guys before.

What does ONS stand for?

One night stand.

Office for National Statistics.

In that case you will be fine. Although its pretty obvious you will be a virgin from the way you act unless you imitate well.


I did mean one night stand lol. How different will it feel though? Will it be really uncomfortable and awkward? I haven't bled or anything yet.

No, you will be fine. Lots of women don't have a hymen by the time they have sex for the first time, it can break very easily during sports/using tampons/etc, and if you've been using vibrators then you probably won't bleed at all.
Although I should also note that hymens can actually maintain their shape even after full sex because some are very elastic. You still probably won't bleed though.

Um, this may sound strange, but if I were sleeping with someone who was a virgin, even on a ONS, I would want to know so...IDK, I'd say so I could be a bit more careful, but it doesn't sound like someone would need to be careful with you. I'd still want to know though.

Also. My experience as an ONS veteran is that it is soooo disappointing when people you met and thought were nice turn out to be arses. Either get to know them first or spend a night with them and then never, ever speak to them again, so they can remain as a beautiful idealised fantasy.
Well that's my experience anyway.

Oh god really....let me give you some advice....you have an ONS (why you couldn't just type one night stand is beyond me) you'll do your thing....you'll feel used....you'll do it again...you'll feel used....the cycle will continue. I'm not saying wait for mr right and I certainly don't care if you can fit a penis or a root vegetable up your bits but don't let impatience get to you. Do what you will but respect your body.

I Agree. Preparing yourself to have one night stands? Really? WTF is that all about?There is no shame in being a virgin, why do you feel it's something you HAVE to do. There are many more experiences to be had in life and sex is just one of them. Again I'm not suggesting you wait for Mr Right either,but have some respect for yourself and at least wait for Mr Right Now. No wonder that guy was put off he probably has a bit of respect for your virginity. Do you?


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Oh, shut up. All this crap about respecting yourself/your body/your virginity.

Not everyone feels "used" after casual sex. Some people genuinely enjoy it. It sounds like the OP has had casual encounters before that involved sex acts other than penetrative sex, so presumably she knows how she responds to casual sexual encounters and is simply worried about the mechanics of the penis --> vagina thing. Which is a valid worry.

Having the sex you want with the people you want under the circumstances you want is the very opposite of disrespecting your body or yourself, even if what you want is outside the social norm.

There's no shame in being a virgin. There is also no shame in wanting to have sex, so stop pretending that there is.

And as for "respecting your virginity", WTF, why should not having had penetrative sex (but having done other sexual things) be a state that requires respect and maintenance? Someone's "virginity" (which, BTW, is a pretty fuzzily defined social concept that I really wouldn't pay too much attention to) is theirs, and they can lose it whenever and however they want.

Kill the slut-shaming!

I'm 22 and its got to a point where I haven't found anyone. I've been in love, had my heart broken, had casual relationships - so gone through everything but penetrative sex. now i just want to have fun.
I think the last guy didn't have respect for my virginity at all. In my opinion, he probably thought i'd be too much hassle and so left as soon as he had the chance. He ended up with another girl not too long after.

Disagree - I wouldn't have been able to tell that the one guy I've slept with who was a virgin at the time was a virgin. (I know that's a pretty small sample size, but it's not like I actively seek out inexperienced partners.)

I've also slept with a few experienced people who were absolutely fecking terrible and if I hadn't know, I might have assumed they were virgins. (Your teeth do not go there.)

My only other worry is positions. Ok this might sound really strange but I'm just worried if he wants to try something and I won't have done anything in that position before if you know what I mean.
I'm not even sure how it works on a ONS. I mean usually do they even care if I say no I just want to do it this way..??