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two_headed_monk
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#141
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#141
(Original post by lumpycustard)
its the very end.

his mum texted me this mornin sayin he wants to be friends, but 1. how the hell can i b??? and two, look what he wrote here on guest book yesterday. hes not even bothered or anything.

i cant cope...
****.... im sorry lumpy... it looks like he's making this harder than it has to be. i can relate, belive me. it sucks...
and why did his mum txt you? surely he has retained the use of his thumbs....
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PQ
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#142
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#142
(Original post by lumpycustard)
i cant cope...
Yes you can....it will be hard and it will take time and it will hurt but you will get past this

Hold on in there - do things that make you happy (whether it's shopping or watching soppy films in front of the telly or listening to depressing music at full blast or even just walking around in the wind and the rain and shouting at the top of your voice)...look after yourself
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lumpycustard
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#143
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#143
(Original post by two_headed_monk)
****.... im sorry lumpy... it looks like he's making this harder than it has to be. i can relate, belive me. it sucks...
and why did his mum txt you? surely he has retained the use of his thumbs....
first text said "hope u r ok and u can still be friends" i texted back how im not ok and iv kinda got a broken heart and she texted back sayin "ste wants to stay friends, its going to be stange u not bein here after all that time take care and b happy" so i sent one back saying it wil b amazingly hard to b friends, especially hopw i still love ihm and think of our time together and theres been no etxt bk. i rang his fone but he answered then put the fone down. i left a voice message.

he doesnt care. theres no 1 else who'l want me, or love me like he did.
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lumpycustard
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#144
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#144
(Original post by Pencil Queen)
Yes you can....it will be hard and it will take time and it will hurt but you will get past this

Hold on in there - do things that make you happy (whether it's shopping or watching soppy films in front of the telly or listening to depressing music at full blast or even just walking around in the wind and the rain and shouting at the top of your voice)...look after yourself
no1 will ever want me. hes the only one to have anted me, not caring about my looks and whether ot not id have sex with him or anything.

i cant cope with it. im very emotional person and, iv had the support from my 2 closest mates since wed evening. i cant keep badgering their lifes.
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two_headed_monk
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#145
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#145
(Original post by lumpycustard)
he doesnt care. theres no 1 else who'l want me, or love me like he did.
yes there is. it might seem hopless now, but things can only get better. im gonna quote an old proverb now, so forgive... but the darkest hour is always just before dawn.
and im sure that he cares, but this is just his way of delaing with it. selfish i know, but its the way that he copes.
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suz19
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#146
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#146
(Original post by lumpycustard)
its the very end.

his mum texted me this mornin sayin he wants to be friends, but 1. how the hell can i b??? and two, look what he wrote here on guest book yesterday. hes not even bothered or anything.

i cant cope...
Lou, maybe it's for the best that you're not with him anymore- he's not the person who you thought he was, looking at that message of his. There's no need for him to be so horrible about you. It's amusing that his mum texted you- she's pretty much the cause of you 2 splitting up. She's obviously just trying to make it look as though it had nothing to do with her.
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lumpycustard
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#147
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#147
(Original post by suz19)
Lou, maybe it's for the best that you're not with him anymore- he's not the person who you thought he was, looking at that message of his. There's no need for him to be so horrible about you. It's amusing that his mum texted you- she's pretty much the cause of you 2 splitting up. She's obviously just trying to make it look as though it had nothing to do with her.
but i love him

and he loved me. he said he still does, i doubt it. iv never gone thru this before! (coz lads only want 2 things, sex and goodlookin 'birds')

i remember only a few weeks ago we took the dog out for a long walk and it was amazin! so in love!

i just cant stop cryin
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suz19
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#148
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#148
(Original post by lumpycustard)
but i love him

and he loved me. he said he still does, i doubt it. iv never gone thru this before! (coz lads only want 2 things, sex and goodlookin 'birds')

i remember only a few weeks ago we took the dog out for a long walk and it was amazin! so in love!

i just cant stop cryin

Has he not given you an explanation as to why he finished with you? He can't say it's because you're insecure cos he was on here last week saying how much he loved you. He's the one that's changed, not you.
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two_headed_monk
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#149
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#149
(Original post by lumpycustard)
i just cant stop cryin
crying is healthy, dont worry about it..
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lumpycustard
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#150
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#150
(Original post by suz19)

Has he not given you an explanation as to why he finished with you? He can't say it's because you're insecure cos he was on here last week saying how much he loved you. He's the one that's changed, not you.
recently iv been gettin stressed out with work, and been get down after everyone in our school bein so horrid about us. i used ot feel down all the time and coz hes the one closest to me take it out on him.

this week tho i needed him most, i was put under pressure to TRY and change. and wen i need him most he walks away from me sayin he cant cope with me "treating him like ****" i said i cant get thru this without him. i fancied him for 4 years and he did me too! we got together after 4 years and was in love for 8 / 9 months!!!

i cant cope!
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PQ
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#151
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#151
(Original post by lumpycustard)
no1 will ever want me. hes the only one to have anted me, not caring about my looks and whether ot not id have sex with him or anything.

i cant cope with it. im very emotional person and, iv had the support from my 2 closest mates since wed evening. i cant keep badgering their lifes.
lumpy - at this moment in time you're in one of the most un-natural social environments. I'm sure you realise that what happens in schools/colleges bears almost no resembelence to the real world. There are lots of people who don't find someone to love while they're at school...for that you've been very lucky.

You will never find anyone else who you love in exactly the same way...but that's ok just because you'll love the next man in your life differently wont mean that you'll love him less.

Just because he was your first love does NOT mean he will be your last. It feels all-consuming when you're in the thick of it but everything in your life is changing right now - including you...and there is absolutely no way that any one of use can predict exactly what sort of adult you will become, but I can guarantee you that the future that you're looking forward to at this particular moment in time has been completely distorted by the fact that you're feeling miserable.

You *will* become a beautiful, confident, sexy woman...no matter how ugly, depressed and unattractive you feel now...it will take time...in the meantime look after yourself...do whatever you feel like doing...anything that makes you feel even slightly better. You're single now - that gives you a free reign to be as selfish as you want to be ....and when you feel like you're feeling right now a bit of selfishness is a very good thing.
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suz19
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#152
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#152
(Original post by lumpycustard)
recently iv been gettin stressed out with work, and been get down after everyone in our school bein so horrid about us. i used ot feel down all the time and coz hes the one closest to me take it out on him.

this week tho i needed him most, i was put under pressure to TRY and change. and wen i need him most he walks away from me sayin he cant cope with me "treating him like ****" i said i cant get thru this without him. i fancied him for 4 years and he did me too! we got together after 4 years and was in love for 8 / 9 months!!!

i cant cope!
Hold on, if you're such a bad girlfriend and you had to do this 'week of trying' thing (which is really nasty on his part BTW, to put a time limit on how long he'll give you), how come last week he seemed to be as in love with you as you were with him??
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lumpycustard
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#153
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#153
(Original post by suz19)
Hold on, if you're such a bad girlfriend and you had to do this 'week of trying' thing (which is really nasty on his part BTW, to put a time limit on how long he'll give you), how come last week he seemed to be as in love with you as you were with him??
i no.

on wed mornin (the day we broke up) he gave me a letter saying how muhc he loved me and cudnt wait for our future. ????????????? he even made a little book on tues of piks of us together! with letters in it sayin he loves me!

thing is i no notice that wen he gave me them letters, he wasnt how he used to b. he used to tease me with it and hold me while ir ead it. this time just gave it to me and walked besdie me

and wen he met me for a hug wed afternoon u now realise what i didnt notice then. his heart werent in it.

the hurtful thing is, one of them, is my last memory is of me cryin in his arms. but they werent loving arms as the used to be. he was all put on
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suz19
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#154
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#154
BTW, I completely agree with Pencil Queen's sentiments about you trying to move on. I just think it's unfair that he's put all the blame onto you. If he doesn't want to be with you, that's his decision, but being so nasty to someone he supposedly loved is wrong. He's knocked your self-confidence in a big way. It's hard enough to get over a break up without feeling you were the cause of it.
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lumpycustard
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#155
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#155
(Original post by suz19)
BTW, I completely agree with Pencil Queen's sentiments about you trying to move on. I just think it's unfair that he's put all the blame onto you. If he doesn't want to be with you, that's his decision, but being so nasty to someone he supposedly loved is wrong. He's knocked your self-confidence in a big way. It's hard enough to get over a break up without feeling you were the cause of it.
but im scared. before ste, lads i met wud never dream of bein with me coz of me bein slightly bigger than average, or not as good looking.

he loved me so much, wud do things for me, listen to me, care fr me, tlel me im beautful.
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PQ
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#156
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#156
One of the best peices of knowledge that someone passed on to me was this:

When you come to the end of a relationship, especially an unexpected end, remember that you will need to take time to grieve. Not for the loss of your partner but for the loss of all the hopes and dreams and private jokes and the future you had together. In every relationship we imagine our future - from planning going out next Saturday to imagining living together, having children, growing old together. When the relationship ends, suddenly all of these plans and imaginings disappear...and you need to acknowledge their loss and grieve for a future that will no longer happen. This is one of the reasons why break ups are so hard.

Your life isn't over, but you have lost one of your potential future lives. Greive for that loss - it's allowed, in fact it's good for you.
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suz19
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#157
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#157
(Original post by lumpycustard)
but im scared. before ste, lads i met wud never dream of bein with me coz of me bein slightly bigger than average, or not as good looking.

he loved me so much, wud do things for me, listen to me, care fr me, tlel me im beautful.
Look, I've seen the pics of you on your website. You are very pretty. And apart from anything, the average dress size for a UK woman is 14/16 I think so you don't look 'bigger than average'. I know it doesn't feel like it now but there'll be plenty of other guys who'll love you for you.
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snowball
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#158
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#158
(Original post by lumpycustard)
first text said "hope u r ok and u can still be friends" i texted back how im not ok and iv kinda got a broken heart and she texted back sayin "ste wants to stay friends, its going to be stange u not bein here after all that time take care and b happy" so i sent one back saying it wil b amazingly hard to b friends, especially hopw i still love ihm and think of our time together and theres been no etxt bk. i rang his fone but he answered then put the fone down. i left a voice message.

he doesnt care. theres no 1 else who'l want me, or love me like he did.
Please dont think that no-one else will want you. I dont know you personally but ur really bubbly, friendly and pretty in your pic. You dont need a guy to be happy - although you probably think that you need him right now. Real happiness can be achieved when you are happy with yourself.
Hang o in there sweetie and you will be ok.
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lumpycustard
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#159
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#159
(Original post by suz19)
Look, I've seen the pics of you on your website. You are very pretty. And apart from anything, the average dress size for a UK woman is 14/16 I think so you don't look 'bigger than average'. I know it doesn't feel like it now but there'll be plenty of other guys who'll love you for you.
well i dotn no how to take that site down but as far as im concerned it doesnt exist anymore.

yes they MAY b, (most likely not) but most alds want the sex/goin out gettin drunk/pullin as many girls as they can etc ste wasnt like that and it suited me down to the ground.

2 peeps av asked me if its tru today already and they wudnt believe it. seriously thoght it was a joke. we were THAT much in love.

and it is my fault its ended, i found someone decent, and who actually fancied me. i wont find that again.
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suz19
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#160
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#160
(Original post by lumpycustard)
and it is my fault its ended, i found someone decent, and who actually fancied me. i wont find that again.
I understand that you're feeling that way and you'll probably feel like this for a while. But you should make a conscious effort to get out and about and do stuff. You've got exams coming up- you can't let this take over and ruin two years worth of work. Go shopping or something.
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