Am I oversensitive?

Context:

My girlfriend text me this morning saying she had a brilliant dream, the best dream of her life. She said she'd email me about it later on.

Then she called me 5 hours later and explained it was about how she dreamt she had been life-coached by a (gay) celebrity who she's obsessed with and had started a relationship and had sex with him. Part of the dream was how he told her he had feelings for women too. She said this in a manner which suggested I should find this amusing, and was still happily going on about how it was an amazing dream despite me not really saying anything on the other end the whole time she was talking.

Further context: She broke up with me last month, and last week before I left to back to uni she suggested we might get back together. We say "I love you" all the time so it feels like we are together.

I didn't get angry on the phone or anything but when she changed topic, I told her I'd get back to work, and then since she's texted me basically saying 'lighten up'.

My problem isn't that she had the dream, its just that she would decide to tell me about it like its nothing. It seemed insensitive and unnecessary to me.

Would like a second opinion please. This is a recurring problem for us.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

I want to be clear that I wouldn;t have done the same to her. I'd have kept it quiet. To me that is the normal thing to do.

(PS I'm aware this thread makes me look pathetic :/ ...)

Reply 2

ssupernova

yes, you are. how many married women you reckon have dreams like this about Gary Barlow, they'll tell their husband's and they would most likely not give a **** 'cause he's a famous guy and there's no chance in hell it'll ever really happen.
we are not in a world where you can punish someone cos of their dreams, or telling you about them.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I promise not to jump back at any further response lol, but final bit of context just in case it matters:

She has met him before, she has met him in the exact same circumstance in which the dream happened. She will be seeing him again (though probably from afar) next week

Reply 4

Biscuit-Man

You are not over sensitive, I would get the hump if my girlfriend was going on about how she was banging someone in her dream.

p.s the human brain can never make up people in dreams, so the person your girlfriend was dreaming about is someone she has met or has a possibility of meeting, so if I was you id be very careful.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 5

lizlaz350

I think it is a little insensitive of her to tell you all about it and go on about how great it was.
I would keep quiet about it (and have done) and would hope that my boyfriend would keep quiet too (and I expect he has at some point), unless it was a really funny dream with someone really embarrassing.

If it's something that regularly happens with her, just have a talk with her and tell her you don't appreciate it, I'm sure she'll understand if it upsets you.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by lizlaz350

hmm, I told her "I thought it was insensitive but lets move on" she text back "lighten up, maybe its stress, i'll leave you alone".

Reply 7

rhstar

I wouldn't do that. So I see where you're coming from.

Reply 8

Spontogical

No, you are not over-sensitive Monsieur, however she is insensitive.

Reply 9

JollyGreenAtheist

Your girlfriend lacks tact, and I can understand why you're upset. However, it seems like it lacked malice, so I'd be the bigger person and just move on from it. You've already made clear that it upset you.

Reply 10

flemining

If this is a recurring problem seems like she likes to make you jealous.

Reply 11

xStaceyy

I'm surprised at how many people would be hurt by this...
Its just a dream, she can't help what she dreams about! Obviously she didn't need to tell you but she must've thought you'd be alright with it since he's a GAY CELEBRITY who she has no chance with anyway!
I'd say lighten up as well.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by xStaceyy

Not arguing, but just to be clear, it doesn't matter that she has met him before in the same circumstance as the dream happened, and that she'll see him (across a room) next week?

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

(PS I'm aware this thread makes me look pathetic :/ ...)

It's okay to feel the way you do. I believe that was very insensitive of her and I would also feel hurt if my girlfriend told me the same (if I had one! :P).

However, she may not have intended to hurt you. She may have just thought - its a dream about getting close to a super popular celebrity, something many women and men alike imagine. Coupled with the fact he's homosexual, she may have not realised the impact it may have had on you.

Definitely don't attack yourself, you're more than justified to feel hurt!

Reply 14

xStaceyy

Original post by Anonymous

Not arguing, but just to be clear, it doesn't matter that she has met him before in the same circumstance as the dream happened, and that she'll see him (across a room) next week?

No... because he's gay.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Personally, I think that's a bit glib: that he's gay doesn't actually make that much difference... the point isn't that I'm worried about it actually happening, but to flaunt it in my face is unneccessaryl.

Reply 16

Michaelj

Maybe if she was referring to someone you work with and she told you about it, it'd be different. However, she was on about a gay celebrity she has 0% chance of getting with. Yes, you're being oversensitive.