my bf - dont know what to do, please help :( Watch

Timeslikethese
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#21
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#21
(Original post by generalebriety)
I appreciate he's treating her badly but communication? She's just come on TSR to tell the entire internet how she's feeling and hasn't told him yet. Come on.
Breaking up is hard, it's clear she's unsure. She shoul tell him how she feels but everyone is entitled to advice!
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*Claire*
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#22
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#22
I don't think the OP ever said he didnt come to see her enough. She was saying he wasn't being nice & she didn't want him to come see her, so why are people getting on her case that she didn't go see him more, thats not the issue here I don't think.
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generalebriety
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#23
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#23
Course it's an issue. It's not the issue, there are many issues. But it's an issue.
(Original post by Anonymous)
As we havent even seen eachother for 2 months, I'm starting to think this isnt even a relationship anymore.
Translated: "As he hasn't come to see me for 2 months..."

My thoughts are that if she was that bothered and this relationship was fair and equal she would've gone to see him some time in those two months, or if she couldn't, she would've understood why he couldn't, given the circumstances. She's even doing her exams. Maybe he doesn't want to disturb her revision over the last month or something, it could be as simple as that.
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Timeslikethese
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#24
(Original post by generalebriety)
Course it's an issue. It's not the issue, there are many issues. But it's an issue.

Translated: "As he hasn't come to see me for 2 months..."

My thoughts are that if she was that bothered and this relationship was fair and equal she would've gone to see him some time in those two months, or if she couldn't, she would've understood why he couldn't, given the circumstances. She's even doing her exams. Maybe he doesn't want to disturb her revision over the last month or something, it could be as simple as that.
That wasn't the main issue, it was a bit of an after thought, an on top of their current probelms.
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generalebriety
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#25
I was explaining to Claire, that's all, and it's just my opinion. I might be biased but so might you.
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anjurdsg
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#26
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#26
(Original post by Anonymous)
and I really dont want to be with him anymore.
you answered your own question

dump him

tell him it's not working out anymore ... i know its gonna be really hard since it was a 2-year relationship

but just do it..coz it can turn worse and worse if this carries on

and dont worry about not finding another guy... there's plenty out there.... if you're attractive, all you need to do is go out of the house ... and you have a VARIETY to CHOOSE from...

good luck
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pendragon
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#27
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#27
OP - you have definitely made the right choice. Call him to tell him, stay firm, and if he starts getting really aggressive and rude just put down the phone and send him an email telling him its definitely over. Then tell your friends and family to make it official and to get their support. Do not back down. Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
#28
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#28
(Original post by generalebriety)
Does anyone else think the OP has really not tried here? Your boyfriend 'came down' all the time but when did you ever go up there? Your post seems to tell me you let him pay for the train fares / petrol / whatever to get to you once a month while you were just sitting there waiting for him. Maybe he's going through a hard time at the moment and can't afford to get to you. I seriously hope you at least picked him up from a train station or something on occasions. I think it's you who didn't make the effort - and maybe he is an ******** but that can't have helped. Sorry if you just didn't mention you going up there - but if you didn't, you should be ashamed for blaming this on him.

Read your post again. Maybe he wants you to go up there and check on these 'stalkers'. Maybe that's why he doesn't want you going to uni. Maybe he's sick of being in charge. Two months, 200 miles away? Think of how ridiculous those costs must be. Think of how much he must have to mess his life about, not being able to see his friends around where he lives during holidays and breaks and weekends and so on. Think of who's messed who about.
I havent actually 'messed him about'. I have very strict parents and they never let me go up there as they wont let me stay the night at his house or in a hotel or anything - another reason its not working. I've tried all I can in the past to reason with them, I've even been in tears about it. I always pay half of the petrol money so yeah, I've done the best I can. Hes not messed about at all, he spends 99% of his time with his mates
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Timeslikethese
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#29
(Original post by Anonymous)
I havent actually 'messed him about'. I have very strict parents and they never let me go up there as they wont let me stay the night at his house or in a hotel or anything - another reason its not working. I've tried all I can in the past to reason with them, I've even been in tears about it. I always pay half of the petrol money so yeah, I've done the best I can. Hes not messed about at all, he spends 99% of his time with his mates
I told him so! Men eh... never listen
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Anonymous #1
#30
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#30
(Original post by generalebriety)
She's been treating him badly by letting him make all the moves then sulking when he stops seeing her for two months.Two years of always having to make the first move which costs you thousands of pounds and your girlfriend not thinking "ooh wait maybe I can help for once" can really piss a guy off.
thousands of pounds? I don't think so. Hes only been down about 6 or 7 times in the whole 2 years. I've tried to help all I can, I think youre being a bit OTT for someone who isnt even part of the relationship. Youre not him in disguise are you?
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high priestess fnord
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#31
(Original post by generalebriety)
Course it's an issue. It's not the issue, there are many issues. But it's an issue.

Translated: "As he hasn't come to see me for 2 months..."

My thoughts are that if she was that bothered and this relationship was fair and equal she would've gone to see him some time in those two months, or if she couldn't, she would've understood why he couldn't, given the circumstances. She's even doing her exams. Maybe he doesn't want to disturb her revision over the last month or something, it could be as simple as that.
thats not fair. i allways go and see my bf for the simple reason that its easier for me to go to him. this guy is being a prick imo the op should dump him and get on with her life.
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big dog
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#32
lol evry ne needs to chill lol anonymus advice here is always unprofessional so if u dont like it u can i gnore it we r just tryin help !:rolleyes:
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pendragon
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#33
(Original post by Timeslikethese)
Men eh... never listen
I agree with what you were saying, but there's no need to be cheeky young lady! *spank*
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1013
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#34
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#34
Either way, it doesn't sound like he treats her very well. I think she might as well get out now and, like she said, get a fresh start at uni.

Yeah, he might be upset but that's too bad for him. Maybe it'll teach him to have more respect for the girls he dates.
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Rock Fan
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#35
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Well he ain't been very nice saying he's single to people, i'd say phone him and have it out with him and sort it all out, tell him either he starts showing you more respect or dump him.
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Timeslikethese
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Hey, I'm so sorry for what that idiot said to you, don't listen. It's people like him that let TSR down!

I think he's been removed from the thread, see.. the mods don't like him too
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allymcb2
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#37
:hahaha:
(Original post by JadedHippy)

"Hi it's me, your dumped bye" hang up,
Jaded
Yeah, you could be a bit more sensitive than that. Dont take any crap though.
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generalebriety
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#38
(Original post by Timeslikethese)
Hey, I'm so sorry for what that idiot said to you, don't listen. It's people like him that let TSR down!

I think he's been removed from the thread, see.. the mods don't like him too
Why the hell am I an 'idiot' for pointing out my opinion? If she doesn't like it she's free not to listen. Having a different opinion to you doesn't make me an idiot. Also why were my posts removed? I would at least appreciate an explanation to that.

Timeslikethese, all you've really done is **** me off since that EMA thread, apart from one post you made in a thread I started, which was basically repeating everyone else I'd already said was wrong anyway. I don't really think you have a right to say I let TSR down - you were the one with the minority opinion in there which was quite offensive to me when you told me I killed people by claiming EMA and that my parents had been slackers all their lives and I was spoilt and a 'sponger'. I didn't start negative rep-ing you and crying to the mods though. I respected that you had an opinion and I disagreed with it.

I've said all I need to say to this thread. I'm not going to argue my case if my posts are going to get deleted without explanation or warning because I have a different opinion to some others. (Note 'some' - there have been people that have agreed with me. I even got positive rep for my first post - not because it was necessarily right, but because it was a different way of looking at things that might have explained it. Whether it did or not, I made the effort not to be a sheep and I spoke my mind. Come on, someone take that rep off me. ) If anyone is courteous enough to tell me why I'm not being treated like I deserve an opinion here it would be appreciated.
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hangover_cure
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#39
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#39
if you need to talk to someone about your problems im always here :cool:
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Timeslikethese
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(Original post by generalebriety)
Why the hell am I an 'idiot' for pointing out my opinion? If she doesn't like it she's free not to listen. Having a different opinion to you doesn't make me an idiot. Also why were my posts removed? I would at least appreciate an explanation to that.

Timeslikethese, all you've really done is **** me off since that EMA thread, apart from one post you made in a thread I started, which was basically repeating everyone else I'd already said was wrong anyway. I don't really think you have a right to say I let TSR down - you were the one with the minority opinion in there which was quite offensive to me when you told me I killed people by claiming EMA and that my parents had been slackers all their lives and I was spoilt and a 'sponger'. I didn't start negative rep-ing you and crying to the mods though. I respected that you had an opinion and I disagreed with it.

I've said all I need to say to this thread. I'm not going to argue my case if my posts are going to get deleted without explanation or warning because I have a different opinion to some others. (Note 'some' - there have been people that have agreed with me. I even got positive rep for my first post - not because it was necessarily right, but because it was a different way of looking at things that might have explained it. Whether it did or not, I made the effort not to be a sheep and I spoke my mind. Come on, someone take that rep off me. ) If anyone is courteous enough to tell me why I'm not being treated like I deserve an opinion here it would be appreciated.
Your posts were removed because of your menacing and aggessive tone. Which is the same reason I said you were an idiot, I disagreed with your opinion in the EMA thread and the equally agressive way you presented your arguement to me, at least you didn't swear at me. You are repugnant.

She presented her case and you found the smallest flaw, she told you that you were wrong in an exceptionally polite way considering how cruel your 'advice' was. Then you launched the profanities, she said nothing wrong! You need to calm down and think about your attitude.

Your opinion is much appreciated no doubt but swearing and insinuating the girl is selfish and that her problems are her fault?

You sound like a very angry young man, you need to stop being so bitter about whatever it is you feel is wrong with the world. I suggest you take your ego, your insults (not to mention how disrespectful you are of the parents who work so hard for you... yes i've read your comments you ungrateful lowlife) and your littleman big attitude agression and go away. You aren't welcome.
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