Strong liberal beliefs preventing me from fitting in with other Christians

I'm at uni and converted to Christianity a couple of years ago from being agnostic. It was a personal decision - I decided very early on that I was going to be fairly liberally Christian and always interpret the Bible and so on with common sense instead of just following it literally (I was raised by parents who prioritised teaching me how to evaluate stuff properly).

I want to spend more time with other Christians whether through my university Christian Union or at church, but I find it very hard sometimes to fit in because of my liberal beliefs. For example:

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I'm pro-choice. At least in extreme cases of rape and incest, or where the mother is clearly very incapable of looking after and supporting the child,
I think abortion should be an option

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I don't believe that people have to believe in Jesus in order to be "saved". I think it's more important that you're a good person than that you're a Christian. I refuse to try to convert others and don't like mission work as it feels very manipulative. This annoys other Christians a lot as they think I don't care enough about non-Christians' souls etc.

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I don't read the Bible literally, nor do I follow stuff like "do unto others as they would do unto you" or Jesus' example to the letter. I believe in being a decent person, but if you're as nice as Jesus was to everyone nowadays you'll end up with others putting you down continually

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I believe in evolution. In fact, I always prioritise well-supported scientific theories over anything Christianity claims

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I've never slept with anyone before, but I'm quite sexually adventurous in that I've made out with guys in clubs whilst drunk quite a few times - I don't see that it's so big a deal. I'm undecided on sex before marriage but there's a good chance I'll have it. My Christian friends are very judgmental about this

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I would never raise my kids Christian - it seems to me like religious indoctrination. I'd teach them about all religions/belief systems instead and let them make up their own minds. I'm afraid I might never marry a Christian guy because of this

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I'm very ambitious and honest about the fact I want to earn a lot of money. I don't see that this necessarily means being unscrupulous or ruthless, but many other Christians have criticised me quite heavily for this as apparently greed is a sin. I don't see how trying to earn a lot (and potentially giving more to charity) is such a bad thing.

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Whilst I do try to help others as well as myself I'm also quite practical about this. I would rather spend my time helping out at a soup kitchen or volunteering at a charity shop then, say, praying

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I'm very sceptical about prayer generally. I can see the benefits in, say, praying as a source of but spending hours and hours praying together in an effort to bring about change seems pointless to me. Provided you're already in the state of mind to help others, surely that time could be spent better?

Without sounding offensive, I also find a lot of other Christians hugely hypocritical (please note, I don't mean all - these are only a few select examples). For example, they preach being kind to everyone but a lot of people I know who do mission work treat the people they're trying to convert as somehow worth less than us.

For lack of a better comparison, they often treat potential converts like possible notches on a bedpost - the more the better, and never mind what those people actually believe as thinking individuals, just keep pushing at them till they hopefully do exactly what the Christian person wants them to do. If not, it's a minor tragedy and they will keep on praying till all those shameful non-converts "see the error of their ways." If I weren't Christian, I would not want to be friends with a lot of my Christian friends solely because of this. The constant pressure on people to try coming to church or this CU event or that gospel talk is sickening.

As a result of this, I haven't gotten involved in much Christian Union stuff at my uni, and also not joined a church. I'm a very moral person and tend to try to do right by others, but I honestly don't feel prayer groups and mission work and going to constant Christian camps and holidays and mostly socialising with Christian people is the best way of doing so.

I tried going to a new church yesterday - I looked it up online and it seemed nice, but not many students go there so I didn't know anyone beforehand. I was in a couple of minutes before the service was due to start and stood alone in the back row, which was empty apart from a couple of middle-aged women. During the service, they kept continually staring at me and clearing their throats as though I was some kind of freak, although I'd done absolutely nothing wrong apart from come to church on my own (obviously, I sung along to the hymns and everything). It made me feel extremely out of place and as I always feel a bit vulnerable in religious places and have had a hard week I was in tears about halfway through. A lot of people clearly noticed from the way they were glancing over at me but no-one said a word.

I thought I might as well give it a try anyway, so I filled in a form for new members to the church and handed it to one of the staff. Again, I got a cold, patronising look from her and everyone she was talking to as if I was some kind of oddity.

Why are a lot of Christians like this? Why are some of them so hypocritical in that they preach a religion that's meant to be kind but are anything but open-minded and welcoming themselves? And is it pointless for me to try to get along with people like this when I'm so different and liberally-minded? Like I said, I'm fairly religious... but I'm starting to absolutely hate organised religion and the kind of people you often find getting involved in it.

Reply 1

Treeroy

Original post by Anonymous

I was raised by parents who prioritised teaching me how to evaluate stuff properly

Original post by Anonymous

Bible

{Fatal Error: #99999999 Subject speaking nonsense.}

Original post by Anonymous

they preach being kind to everyone

Then they didn't understand the Bible. :angry:

To respond to the issue at hand, though, can you not find other modern Christians anywhere (I must refrain from misusing the word 'liberal', so 'modern' shall suffice)? There are a lot more modern Christians than traditional ones where I live, though obviously that won't be the same everywhere.
When I changed churches to a more youth-focused one, I found that there were a lot more people whose beliefs I could relate to.

It sounds to me, though, that you aren't really a religious person. That's fine - you don't have to be religious in order to believe in a god, soul, afterlife or any other fantasy that you want to.
But if you don't agree with the teachings of the Bible and don't really follow Jesus, why are you calling yourself a Christian? Are you sure it is the god of the Bible that you believe in?

With regard to friendships - if your friends are looking down on you for your views, the simplest solution is to not be friends with them. I know that may be hard to do, but it could ultimately be best, and new friends will arrive soon enough.
Or perhaps try to convince them of why they're wrong? Though unlikely, it is possible that they will be willing to think more rationally in a mature discussion of beliefs than they do normally.

Reply 2

julifak

Sorry to say this, but I think the problem here is that they don't think you're an actual Christian. I'm a Christian and the fact that you say that you don't have to believe in God to be a Christian is a no-no and would be for many others. So maybe that's partly where the other people have issues with too. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to upset you but the whole Christian faith is based on believing in God so if you don't then I don't really understand how you're a Christian…

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(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Treeroy

{Fatal Error: #99999999 Subject speaking nonsense.}

Then they didn't understand the Bible. :angry:

Interesting advice, thanks :smile:

How would you define "religious", out of curiosity? As following Jesus/agreeing with the teachings of the Bible literally? I thought that was mainly non-liberal/fundamentalist Christians...

julifak