Feeling like giving up on society/life in general

I agree with the sentiment of your post. I still think that people who are born into unplanned and poorer families have a chance in life, but the difficulties that they have to surpass in order to achieve that ideal life are absolutely immense in relationship to the children in the other end of the spectrum.

There is definitely a huge opportunity gap between people in the world and there is no ethical way I can think of that would solve it.

Edit: you do seem to go on a lot about how women choose physically attractive men disproportionately. I'm not sure why you focus on women specifically because I think it applies just as much to men than to women (if not more so to men). I also don't see how that has any effect on success because attractiveness is only a measure of health that I don't think is very relevant anymore. You can have babies with an unattractive partner and they would still be very healthy because they have very good healthcare.

It becomes even more daunting when I'm supposed to create a family and be sociable. How am I supposed to do all of this and why should I?

You don't have to. Just find a path in life that brings you and those around you happiness.

There are many people out there who have a career and have children only to push them into private school or a nanny.

I think you mean boarding school. Regular private schools aren't much different from state schools except for better resources (usually).

There are many people who have these two attributes but do nothing with them. Isn't this incredibly unfair?

So what you're saying is that people are never judged on their kindness, athleticism, charisma, social skills, etc? Think about famous figures like Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela and so forth who accomplished great things without needing to use any large amount of intelligence.

Perhaps the most saddening consequence is that I cannot do anything to negate this until I'm too old to rectify the damage.

Sure you can. Most of your daily actions are based on your decisions. If you want to change, then change your actions,. You can change your actions by deciding differently.

Now this is arguably the most saddening part of my life. I will become one of these people on a conveyor belt of society. I'll be shoved through the sprawling mass of people subconsciously screaming in anger/confusion as I age. I'll live a life that the majority of people live.

What's wrong with not being all that different from everyone else, as long as you're happy/contributing to a better future?

I'm one of these people as I've already told you. I'm a direct result of public schooling peppered with a dysfunctional family. What hope do I have?

Again, change yourself and stop hiding behind excuses.

To actually succeed in society, you have to have a slight dash of aspergers syndrome. You know, repetitive. 'I love doing this again, again again again...' as in the mandatory 9 to 5 job 5 days a week.

Many jobs have varying scenarios everyday. Not every job is mindless droning.

Life is so mundane. I actually feel like cutting my hand off just to go to hospital and break this repetitive cycle.

That's because you've given up before you've even started. Set goals in your life and change your world in order to achieve them.

Every waking moment I feel time pass and my inevitable death approach. Why bother with convention? Why die like 99% of people in a boring way. I want to feel something. I don't want to be constrained to a career that sees me age into a regretful, bitter person.

Then do something different. Volunteer locally/abroad. Go on an adventure. Learn about the wonderful world we inhabit. DO something rather then moaning.

I can't believe I managed to read most of that! Anyway:



So to sum up, change something. Either you're right and nothing will ever change (which is difficult to believe considering how much the world has changed over the last couple of millenia), in which case moaning and trying is pointless, or you're wrong and you're wasting your life on an unproven philosophy. Your choice, OP.

I feel the same way

I accept that I have been given the gift of life but I don't want it because of who I am. I'm no one special. I'm not particularly attractive and every day is a struggle due to the mechanics of society which imposes a numerical value on our strengths and weaknesses. Everything has to be measured like our intelligence through qualifications, our income, and even how we run our daily lifes by time. This is a terrible constraint that I can't deal with. I feel trapped, lonely and doomed to failure.

What is the point of trying to succeed when many before me already have (and many after me will). What makes my success so important compared to another's? This is what I can't get my head around: Why strive for a career when it's going to be stressful. Working 9 to 5 five days a week for my entire life is something I don't think I could do. It becomes even more daunting when I'm supposed to create a family and be sociable. How am I supposed to do all of this and why should I?

There are many people out there who have a career and have children only to push them into private school or a nanny. They spend no time with them so really what is the point? Do they view their children as materialistic things rather than people? This implies that they seek a man who is attractive rather than a 'life partner' as they're too busy with their busy career to even spend time as a family. So in fact, they have no real family. All they have our children that are being groomed like clones by the private education system and a good looking partner, who they have nothing in common with.

This is nothing more than an illusion of the 'perfect life'. But what is a 'perfect life? This is subjective and varies from person to person but for me, the perfect life was much like the life I just described until recently. Now I see what society is and how we are nothing but numbers and statistics, some of us better statistics than others. We are measured on attributes that we cannot directly control: our attractiveness and out intelligence and because of this, I don't feel as though I belong in this society.

Well you might say, live a lesser life but no. I won't sit back and watch people who have the two attributes surpass me in life. There are many people who have these two attributes but do nothing with them. Isn't this incredibly unfair? Why are we judged on factors that we cannot control. I'm sorry but I don't wish to live in a world where this is the case. And you might say well it's the same in the natural world/evolution (survival and the fittest) etc and that's true but this doesn't mean I have to accept this.

The world is populated by so many people and is incredibly diverse but there underlying constants in society are always: attractiveness and intelligence. Now let's go back to our aforementioned 'perfect family'. The parents of this family: mother and father are likely to be intelligent and there is some link between intelligence and attractiveness. Those with strong facial symmetry tend to have a better chance of reproductive success: They have few genes with free radicals which means they're less likely to have offspring with disabilities. You may look at someone's face and not notice any asymmetric features but subconsciously you do. It's woven into our genetic makeup thanks to millions of years of evolution. Now, the mother of this family has chosen a man with such features. He is tall, athletic and intelligent which implies he's the right candidate to have children with. Does the mother care about his personality? Yes and no. She is only worried about creating healthy and subsequently attractive children but of course, she has to get along with him to some extent. Considering she is more career focused than family focused, she values: attractiveness and intelligence over personality.

This creates a social divide in society. Those with methodical (calculating) parents are likely to be intelligent and attractive thanks to clever family planning thanks to them. They are likely to succeed thanks to a private school education and aesthetic looks.

Those children born from chaos and live a life in chaos such as me are less likely to succeed given environmental (and perhaps genetic factors too as clever family planning wasn't thought of). This is because my parents value personality rather than attractiveness/intelligence and have no notion of family planning in the sense I described above. Imagine a child as a blank canvass. Every child is born like this. A child born into a dysfunctional family is less likely to become a work of art as opposed to a child born as a result of family planning.

Perhaps the most saddening consequence is that I cannot do anything to negate this until I'm too old to rectify the damage. I'm now what I am as a result of chaotic, dysfunctional choices in an environment that restricts intellectual growth. Picture two children A and B. Child A is me. Child B is the child born by the parents who value attractiveness/intelligence (the family planning). 18 years is a long time to assimilate a human being into what they are today. The choices they were exposed to were invariably crucial to their development, more so the younger they are. A child is like a firework. If you fail to ignite the fuse from a young age, it will never take off (as in succeed in life) and consequently fail. I define failure here as becoming another mindless drone - an individual who works at your local supermarket (nobody significant).

Now this is arguably the most saddening part of my life. I will become one of these people on a conveyor belt of society. I'll be shoved through the sprawling mass of people subconsciously screaming in anger/confusion as I age. I'll live a life that the majority of people live. The people who fill in the gaps in society. This image reverberates against the image on the other side of the spectrum that the children from the family planning create. Their lives will be enriched with materialistic goods as a result of their intelligence and aesthetic looks bestowed upon them by their parents.

This begs the question: Well considering the success of their lives, is it therefore better to go down the family planning route? Personally, I would choose this option over the conventional 'I like this guys, he's funny, therefore I will be his boyfriend and have sex. Oh look, I'm pregnant. Well I guess that's great'. So many people have done this and their children are born into chaos and are more likely to replicate their parents lives rather than be headstrong and create a life of their own.

I'm one of these people as I've already told you. I'm a direct result of public schooling peppered with a dysfunctional family. What hope do I have? Any hope I had in life would have quickly dissipated in my children had it not been nurtured. Children don't go to Oxbridge because they're intelligent. They go to Oxford because

(a) 99% of children were born from 'family planning (as described above)
(b) They were planned births: meaning the parents attended to the child and ensured its childhood was a time of academic enrichment.
(c) The result of (b) means any native intelligence the child had was boosted by the parents continual involvement in her child's education.

So already, the child has a leaping head start on the academic ladder. Now consider a child born from spontaneous sex. This child has none of the family involvement outlined above and is therefore just by the progressive nature of time, is likely to fail.

Why do you think your school emphasizes the importance that 'if you want a top grade then your attendance must be ~100%'

This is the same idea I'm describing here. By extension, 'if you want to succeed in life then you (parents) must make this happen at the child's birth'.

I have seen both sends of the spectrum. Those children who are born as a result of family planning and those who are born as a result of chaotic (often spontaneous) choices. They are nothing but the products of time and chaos/order. Order being a functional family, structured lifestyle and parental involvement in child's academia from birth (direct result of family planning). Chaos being, single parent(s) with no career, childhood indoctrination of underachievement.

At some point, a child born into chaos may have the native intelligence to think 'I want to succeed now. I want to achieve.' Unfortunately, this child is limited in terms of success. The foundations of a stable childhood that nurtured academia where not in place. So this child is very, very behind the child born into order. Can this child catch up? Most of the time, it will not. But it will create some success for itself no doubt.

I'm like this child. I'm struggling to catch up but it's likely that I won't. I cannot undo 17 years of poor parentage. A child's brain is extremely receptive to stimuli. What happens in these early stages of its life are crucial for it;s long term success as I've already said. I know I'm begging the 'What if' questions - what if my upbringing was different'. I accept the fact that I can't go back and change choices but I also accept that I don't have to continue living with the irreparable damage such choices have had on me.

A human being is like a piece of clay. It is easily morphed into what its environment predicates given a sufficient amount of time. How else could everyone be so different. People are not immediately born as you see them. The life they lead is a result of many, many choices - some chaotic, some ordered as I've described. These choices shape them into the person you see them today. This is quite obvious.

Life is so frequent. To actually succeed in society, you have to have a slight dash of aspergers syndrome. You know, repetitive. 'I love doing this again, again again again...' as in the mandatory 9 to 5 job 5 days a week. And if you're naive enough to think it gets better the more qualified you are. It's actually worse. Increased stress from many sources. Some can handle stress. Some even like it. However these kinds of people tend to be unhappy. Why is this?

They have no family. They have wealth but no one to share it with and unfortunately they realize this when it's too late. A women's chances of fertility decrease rapidly in her 30s - the time when she has established a decent career for herself. She has no husband - she simply cannot find the time to tend to family matters whilst coping with the immense stress of her career. What kind of male does she seek to have children with?

Now this goes back to the family planning notion. Should she choose a male with intelligence/attractiveness or simply an average guy who makes her laugh? After all, women state the only quality they look for in a guy's personality is humor. Now she can't win either way. If she chooses the family planning route (provided she also has the attractiveness this requires), she'll be at a personal loss.

She won't share much emotional attachment with this man. She'll grow older and consequently unhappier. She'll retire and spend the rest of her days paired with a 'boring' man. At least she has some comfort knowing her kids are intelligent/attractive though right?

The other possibility is that she doesn't have the looks to facilitate an attractive guy. So what does she do? She accepts her limitations and settles for an 'uglier' guy with whom to have children with (often through dating sites). Her children will be flawed from the outset. They will be shadows of what she aspired to have, although at her time of life, she cannot be too choosy. She has to accept this guy and hope for the best.

Life is incredibly unfair either way. Where is solace? Where is peace? I'm fin ding myself turning to religion as I get older as a comfort blanket after having been an atheist. There is an element of hope in religion. Most of all equality. This masks my imperfections and for a brief moment, everyone is indifferent. This is soothing and I can see why religion is so popular. Science is methodical, calculating - exactly like the family planning discussion. It assumes everything must be measured and by default, society compares these measurements against another: A person against another person. Much like I'm doing here.

This is the crippling fact of life. We live in a place where numbers (money) have precedence over the life itself. If I were to become homeless, no one would care as (a) I'm not unique (b) I don't have money. Money is the sole driving force and is the 3rd attribute that completes the family planning criteria: (1) Money (2) Attractiveness (3) Intelligence. There is a strong correlation between (1) and (3). Therefore many unintelligent people are poor which does not facilitate family planning. (2) is of course independent. Many unintelligent people are wealthy due to their social appeal (see vacant minded celebrities for a comprehensive list).

I have also observed that how we choose a partner is again, based on numbers (maths) - symmetry and proportion. Women eagerly reject men who do not lie within the vast normal zone. There are simply so many men to choose from that the other unfortunate men don't stand a chance. Therefore what is the purpose of their existence if they cannot pass on their genes. The women would say 'They should die as their genes are inferior to the media's notion of what we should have. Our men should all look generic and go cycling. We want a plastic husband really. Someone we can keep on a tight leash command'.

Where I live, these kinds of men are all over the place. The traditional henpecked husband who spends most of his time in the garden than in the house. This is what women seek. It screams stability and order - the life the media portrays through many American sitcoms. Although this is one possible option, most women think it's the only option (due to their vacant mindedness/inability to think for themselves).

So now we have this huge swath of generic people frequenting £250,000 - £500,000 houses who do just this. I don't want to live a life like this. I don't want to be another one of those generic people who die forgotten but given my upbringing, I'm afraid I don't have a choice.

Life is so mundane. I actually feel like cutting my hand off just to go to hospital and break this repetitive cycle. I feel like dying and perhaps I'll be born another person. You know, someone who enjoys being manipulated by the media. At least I won't have to put up with this continual struggle. 'Help I'm trapped under a glass ceiling analogy..'

Every waking moment I feel time pass and my inevitable death approach. Why bother with convention? Why die like 99% of people in a boring way. I want to feel something. I don't want to be constrained to a career that sees me age into a regretful, bitter person.

Women who have children and watch those children grow are experiencing the most breathtaking opportunity this life has to offer. To command life, to create it, to shape it is the ultimate priveldge this life has to offer. It strips back modernity (meida/society) and exposes the sheer potential of nature/evolution. This makes me feel happy. To have children with many women and compare the differences in their appearances. I'm doing what society does to us all.

1) I don't have the money to go travelling or do most of the things you suggested. If only it were that simple! To get money, I'd need a better job which is difficult given my age/student.

2) I won't change myself to be compatible with this 'society'. Society is indeed changing but in the wrong direction. People are becoming less like people and more like media driven clones.

They do? Heck you coulda fooled me.

Most "vacant-minded" people I think just seem to coast through life without any real meaning or purpose, sometimes from one minor crisis to another (though in most cases they seem to think it is major).

1) I don't have the money to go travelling or do most of the things you suggested. If only it were that simple! To get money, I'd need a better job which is difficult given my age/student.

2) I won't change myself to be compatible with this 'society'. Society is indeed changing but in the wrong direction. People are becoming less like people and more like media driven clones.

I see what my life is now. I see what it could be and this doesn't motivate me at all. In fact, it does the opposite. I'd be another one of those people who go on holiday twice a year - cultural sightseeing hotspots. Venice anyone? I'd have children who'd likely turn out gay given the shift in sexuality people are having in recent years. Apparently to have sex with both sexes is practically encouraged by today's youth. Oh and could you imagine the sheltered lifestyle my children would have (possibly yours too) - inside a bubble really. How incredibly boring and repetitive that would be. You know what, maybe I don't know what I want until I actually experience it firsthand. I could sit here and and type drivel for the rest of my life yet how would I know this is what I'm destined for? Does my designer intend alternative things for me? I'd like to think so given the unfulfilled nature of my life at the moment.

Human beings are so needy. I want, me me me. I need. This is another flaw that will ensure our destruction. I hope in a way, we do. For the sake of the Earth and the other life on it. Although, this Earth won't exist in 5 billion years. The clock is ticking so I should be thankful to be born at the precise moment at least. I watched a program on space and Brian Cox (You know the Justin Bieber professor), draw an incredibly small number in the sand on a beach. I wondered at first, why didn't he write it in standard index form but then it become apparent that he was making a point that life in this universe can only exist for a tiniest fraction of the total lifespan of the universe itself. So there is some hope here don't you think?

I agree with the sentiment of your OP, just watching The Syndicate makes me despair for humankind, but this....? why would your children turn out gay and why would it matter if they did?