Boyfriend never wants to have sex twice in one day. Dealbreaker?

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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Before anyone jumps down my throat - I would like to hear your thoughts on this!

We have been together 1 1/2 years and naturally at the very beginning of our relationship, sex was much more frequent. But I would say my levels of desire haven't really levelled off, whereas his definitely have. Now he can never go twice in one night - sometimes we'll have a go the next morning and on a very rare occasion it's great, but more often than not, he'll just get soft.

He is a wonderful guy who treats me so well, and it can be great, but it doesn't feel often enough and leaves me feeling unfulfilled. I once asked him if he might have a low libido, and he just snapped. Am I right in thinking it is not normal for a guy to not want to go twice in one night at least sometimes?

I spoke to once before about this about a year ago - and lo and behold, he was able to go twice! But then it went back to normal...
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Anonymous #1
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I don't need it twice every night/week by any means but it's the fact it's never on the menu that bothers me. He says that its just his refractory period, but how can things have changed so drastically in one year?
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ninth2
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#3
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He doesn't want to continuously have sex with you, get over yourself and let him have some space jeez.
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Anonymous #2
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I'd kill to go twice!! ....try once a month! :/ I'm not sure whether or not it's bad he doesn't wanna go twice... sex can really wear out the guy especially.

Could perhaps talk to him about needing a little more sex if you're feeling unsatisfied, as in a relationship you should be able to meet in the middle. But easier said than done sometimes. Perhaps he has difficulty 'getting it up' so to speak for a second time and snaps because he is embarrassed??
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'd kill to go twice!! ....try once a month! :/ I'm not sure whether or not it's bad he doesn't wanna go twice... sex can really wear out the guy especially.

Could perhaps talk to him about needing a little more sex if you're feeling unsatisfied, as in a relationship you should be able to meet in the middle. But easier said than done sometimes. Perhaps he has difficulty 'getting it up' so to speak for a second time and snaps because he is embarrassed??


I think it could be that. But, I also don't think he would ever have the sexual drive to even want to go twice. The only time I ever seem to see a significant increase in his desire for his sex is when we're on holiday - which is a bit of a cliche!

I don't know...I don't think it would bother me so much if it had always been this way, but it hasn't. So it makes me feel his desire for me has changed (which he says it hasn't).
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Mankytoes
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I was reading an article that said in surveys the average, long term relationship, people have sex three times a week. So you are being pretty demanding.
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Anonymous #3
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You're actually considering this a "dealbreaker"?

Sex can be tiring for anyone. If you're in a stable relationship then why make an issue out of nothing?

At the end of the day he's not the problem by the sounds of it, and if he's still having sex with you regularly then it's definitely not his sex drive. Maybe yours is overactive, or maybe you need to lay off and give him some space.

Pressured sex is not good sex.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Mankytoes)
I was reading an article that said in surveys the average, long term relationship, people have sex three times a week. So you are being pretty demanding.
Interesting. Maybe I do have a high sex drive...
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Namige
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I want to be him.......
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chelseafan
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You have a high sex drive.
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Guy Secretan
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You do realise that a lot of guys need time to recover before they can go again as it is physically impossible for them to just go again. You are making out like he is a failure for something that is entirely natural.
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Yawn11
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#12
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Sex with the same girl for a year and a half?

Be grateful he can even get it up once.
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3309will
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#13
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If you are being so shallow as to say that not enough sex is a dealbreaker then maybe he could do better than you.
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Anazoth
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#14
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People need to be in the mood for it, it shouldn't have to be a chore...

Some people also physically can't do it that often depending on tiredness, stress and many more factors

Get a vibrator
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Habibul Bashar
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Personally, if I ejaculate twice within ~12 hours the second time is really not that good for me, plus there is possible soreness.

For me it needs to be at least 24hrs if I'm going to have a good orgasm. I came 10 hours ago and my balls just feel pretty empty... sure, I wouldn't turn down sex right now, but I'd enjoy it a lot more if I can have another 12hours to replenish my stocks!

Probably once every 2 days is best for me, any more and I start becoming a violent, frustrated testosterone monster. Once I had to go a week without cumming, and wow that was a good orgasm. But, not a good enough orgasm to make up for the tension I endured during that long and difficult week!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Habibul Bashar)
Personally, if I ejaculate twice within ~12 hours the second time is really not that good for me, plus there is possible soreness.

For me it needs to be at least 24hrs if I'm going to have a good orgasm. I came 10 hours ago and my balls just feel pretty empty... sure, I wouldn't turn down sex right now, but I'd enjoy it a lot more if I can have another 12hours to replenish my stocks!

Probably once every 2 days is best for me, any more and I start becoming a violent, frustrated testosterone monster. Once I had to go a week without cumming, and wow that was a good orgasm. But, not a good enough orgasm to make up for the tension I endured during that long and difficult week!
Ha ha :P I empathise with your pain.

Anyway...thanks for the detailed response, I wasn't asking for any insults (replies above!). The point of me posting this thread was to get a feel for how often other guys can have sex to see how normal the situation was.
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Anonymous #1
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Also I generally never had this problem with my ex, so it has occasionally made me wonder whether the sexual chemistry between us is off. Who knows.
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Anonymous #4
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I'm in the same position as you and was quite frustrated that it wasn't an option. I originally put it down to having a higher sex drive than my boyfriend, but decided to talk to him about it. For him at least, it was a combination of being physically drained and it being a bit painful to do it again. And whilst talking about it hasn't(obviously altered the situation, he has made up for it in other ways.
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OMGWTFBBQ
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(Original post by Guy Secretan)
You do realise that a lot of guys need time to recover before they can go again as it is physically impossible for them to just go again. You are making out like he is a failure for something that is entirely natural and considering dumping him over it makes you seem like a real *****.
Hear hear.

Bull**** to all this "women feel pressure to have sex, you should respect their decision and not pressure them" and then disregarding the pressures on men.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by OMGWTFBBQ)
Hear hear.

Bull**** to all this "women feel pressure to have sex, you should respect their decision and not pressure them" and then disregarding the pressures on men.
Well, I didn't say I was pressuring him. I said it had become an issue for me, and so I was trying to find out how other men viewed the situation in order to know how to approach it...
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