No Job, No Money, No Benefits No Friends, No Life, No Hope

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
#1
The obvious answer for me would be to get a job, but I can't try any harder than I am doing, I am just not getting anywhere, and with how I am feeling/my-situation combined with no money for decent clothes or a haircut, I am not going to come across well in a job interview.

As well as having no money I am 23, I have had a social anxiety problem for 4 years and as a result of this I only ever leave the house to go to college which is like 6 hours a week. I have no friends, no social life, no enjoyment in my life and haven't done so for 4 years, I've not even been on holiday for 4 years, not even for a weekend. I sit in most of the time and despite having CBT I've not improved.

Everything is so hopeless and has been for so long, I am lost and not sure what to do anymore
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Fonzee
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#2
Report 8 years ago
#2
Hey, you are by far not the only person who is having trouble finding a job. There are many people in similar situations, I was there a couple of years ago when no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't convince anyone to give me a job. Just keep at it, something will come up eventually. I know a guy who suffers from social anxiety, he doesn't cope too well in some situations and there's a large group of us who try our hardest to support and encourage him. He's improved quite a lot since I first met him last September and although he still gets nervous he is visibly more confident which is great because he's a really nice guy.

Wish I could give you more advice but I've never suffered from social anxiety so I can't imagine what it feels like. But you should know that there are many understanding people around that will support you and help you to overcome your problems.

Have you tried to befriend any of the others on your college course?
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
#3
(Original post by Fonzee)
Hey, you are by far not the only person who is having trouble finding a job. There are many people in similar situations, I was there a couple of years ago when no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't convince anyone to give me a job. Just keep at it, something will come up eventually. I know a guy who suffers from social anxiety, he doesn't cope too well in some situations and there's a large group of us who try our hardest to support and encourage him. He's improved quite a lot since I first met him last September and although he still gets nervous he is visibly more confident which is great because he's a really nice guy.

Wish I could give you more advice but I've never suffered from social anxiety so I can't imagine what it feels like. But you should know that there are many understanding people around that will support you and help you to overcome your problems.

Have you tried to befriend any of the others on your college course?
Thanks.

I know many people are struggling to find a job, but I literally have no money at all, I don't get any form of financial assistance/benefit and I have no savings, things are pretty bad. I guess the social anxiety is made worse by this, I feel like people can instinctively tell there is something wrong, and I wouldn't be surprised if they could, I feel as if I am worthless waste walking around. So I tend to not go anywhere

I haven't tried to befriend anyone, I guess because I am so socially inadequate combined with bad experiences in the past I have programmed myself to avoid socialising, it isn't good at all.
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Kabloomybuzz
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#4
Report 8 years ago
#4
Why don't you get any benefits.

The only person who can help your situation is yourself... CBT will go so far but you have to do more to help yourself, you should force yourself to go out, do more and socialise more. Yest it will feel scary at first but you will learn there isn't really much worth being scared of and in doing things and pushing yourself in spite of your fear you will feel a great sense of achievement and empowerment.

Make yourself do more to help yourself. No one will do it for you. People can help you to help yourself if you are willing to push yourself.
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Tiger Rag
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#5
Report 8 years ago
#5
The only way any of this will work is if you do something about it.
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calm down
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#6
Report 8 years ago
#6
The internet is a great way to gain confidence, people on here are here to help
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darthgirlie
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#7
Report 8 years ago
#7
I am so sorry that you feel the way you do. It must be really tough not really knowing which way to turn and find support. I do agree with the other post, you are not a passive thing that things happen to. I am pretty sure you would be eligible for Jobseekers or income support or something, considering your circumstances- it might be worth having a chat with someone at your local jobcentre or looking on directgov website. I cant believe that you entitled to nothing. I assume you're still living with your parents? I was in a similar situation and its hard work trying to find a job and soul destroying when you hit a dead end. Maybe try some volunteering to help get your confidence up. CBT is something that you don't just do and then you're done it meant to provide to skills to help with the way you're feeling and give you the tools to enable to think about your life more postively. I know its difficult anon but sometimes you a have just try keep chipping away at it and focus on the positives.
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The Mad Dog
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#8
Report 8 years ago
#8
You must be eligible for some benefits? Surely?
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MsWalmalk
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#9
Report 7 years ago
#9
Oh my god I finally found someone like me. I'm so depressed and burned out with doors closing in my face. I have anxiety also no friends, no money, no family and no life. I am 40 and have lived life a lil longer than you but I'm without everything. Sorry I don't have an answer for you just letting you know your not alone. Honey pray and give it to GOD that'll be our only salvation. Whoever you are I Love You and Take Care.
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DeusMisereatur
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#10
Report 7 years ago
#10
I read these comments people have made but no one is really helping or guiding you to achieve your goals. Sure sympathy is always good but clear precise courses of action work much better in my humble opinion. First I do not socialise with others unless it required ie business related matters, people suck the energy from your soul and take everything they can sure there's the odd few who'll try to give back but they'll let you down in the end. Pessimistic perhaps but life has a cruel way of hurting those that don't fit in. Now onto your financial issues, business is created never given and therefore to achieve financial success you must give your time to it, sitting at home not doing anything about the situation is the reason you're in the same position 4 years Later! People don't know you exist! So they key to making money everyone can do it. If you have a set of business skills draw upon them, if not I'm sure everyone without disability can pulls weeds from gardens or wash windows so I here you ask
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smithy84
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#11
Report 5 years ago
#11
Ill be your friend as I have none either.
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Lilyonfire
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#12
Report 5 years ago
#12
I'm 37 I even do volunteer work 1 day and college. Countless doors slammed my face and considering antidepressants. I feel broken inside. The hope I had from my last job interview is fading. The fact I even have awards for customer service feels like ash in my mouth. At one time a couple of places that I worked almost closed, I helped to keep them open and build an excellent reputation. Total bulls**t is how I feel now. I see people get jobs I know I am good at and don't care and that really hurts. I have no friends but I keep busy. If my mouth was on fire I doubt anyone would care even to piss on them. If I was unkind, selfish, Lazy or narcissistic I would understand. I appreciate all the threads the only piece of advice is keep busy volunteering has stopped me making a rather permanent solution and kept me sane it might help you too.
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whorace
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#13
Report 5 years ago
#13
I do not really know what to say. It would be patronising of me as a 19 year old with very little experience of the world to say keep going in hope, but I don't think pessimism benefits anyone.
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