girlfriend doesn't like my best friend
hey guys,
I have been going out with gf for a year and a few months. I introduced her to my best friend and they immediately clicked. However me and my gf had a really serious argument later on and i got my friend involved to take the place as the neutral party to bring us back together. However, my gf claims that my best friend sent her abusive text messages whilst she playing the neutral party.
I asked my gf to show me the text messages my friend sent but she claimed she deleted them but the the txt convo's she and my friend had months ago, are still on there. My gf refuses to apologizes or speak to my best friend untill she apologizes. My best friend also claims she did not send anything of that sort and tbh..i find it impossible to see my best friend doing that. Me and my gf live on campus so it's not like ever see my best friend as she lives back in my hometown. I am stuck between the two. I really love my gf and i have known my best friend longer (5 or 6 years). My best friend has helped me so much and i probably would be in a really bas position if not for her.
My gf wants me to end my friendship with my best friend and i have repeatedly told my gf that i will not as she has done so much for me. Every single day me and my gf argue about this. She blows a fuse, whenever she See's me communicating with my best friend on fb etc. I am confused as to what to do. My gf is threatening to end the relationship if i don't cut contact with my best friend. I have tried to arrange a meeting between the two but they both refuse to meet, unless one or the other apologies first. I am confused as to what to do. Anyone??
I have been going out with gf for a year and a few months. I introduced her to my best friend and they immediately clicked. However me and my gf had a really serious argument later on and i got my friend involved to take the place as the neutral party to bring us back together. However, my gf claims that my best friend sent her abusive text messages whilst she playing the neutral party.
I asked my gf to show me the text messages my friend sent but she claimed she deleted them but the the txt convo's she and my friend had months ago, are still on there. My gf refuses to apologizes or speak to my best friend untill she apologizes. My best friend also claims she did not send anything of that sort and tbh..i find it impossible to see my best friend doing that. Me and my gf live on campus so it's not like ever see my best friend as she lives back in my hometown. I am stuck between the two. I really love my gf and i have known my best friend longer (5 or 6 years). My best friend has helped me so much and i probably would be in a really bas position if not for her.
My gf wants me to end my friendship with my best friend and i have repeatedly told my gf that i will not as she has done so much for me. Every single day me and my gf argue about this. She blows a fuse, whenever she See's me communicating with my best friend on fb etc. I am confused as to what to do. My gf is threatening to end the relationship if i don't cut contact with my best friend. I have tried to arrange a meeting between the two but they both refuse to meet, unless one or the other apologies first. I am confused as to what to do. Anyone??
Scroll to see replies
You my friend are in a sticky situation...having a boyfriend with a best friend who is a girl is difficult enough but now they aren't getting on you're not going to have a fun time. I think maybe you need to talk to your best friend first and ask for her side of the situation and also maybe to see these txt messages too if your girlfriend has "deleted" them. Girls won't always get on but try talking to the girl who's been in your life the longest about what really happened..i'd be more inclined to believer her tbh..
if she dislikes this girl so much surely she can just not talk to her and leave you to be friends without her getting involved. I really don't like one of my boyfriends best friends so I just don't talk to him, why does her not wanting to make up with her mean she should expect you to stop talking to her.
It baffles me that people think its okay to tell their partner who they can and can't be friends with. It baffles me even more that they could have reason for this absurd demand and then delete it.
...
(edited 10 years ago)
Bros (or in this case sis) before hoes
Original post by Arrow_x
You my friend are in a sticky situation...having a boyfriend with a best friend who is a girl is difficult enough but now they aren't getting on you're not going to have a fun time. I think maybe you need to talk to your best friend first and ask for her side of the situation and also maybe to see these txt messages too if your girlfriend has "deleted" them. Girls won't always get on but try talking to the girl who's been in your life the longest about what really happened..i'd be more inclined to believer her tbh..
Yeah, i believe my best friend of course as my gf hasn't even got proof that she said those things..My gf even knows that i believe my best friend which pisses her off greatly. But what can i do, ey? There's no evidence and i trust my best friend's words more than anything. My best friend claims she did not send anything. Yeah, i have acknoqledged the fact that they will never be friends but i would just like them to be on some sort of neutral level..i mean they both care about my well being , right?
Original post by MelanieDickson
It baffles me that people think its okay to tell their partner who they can and can't be friends with. It baffles me even more that they could have reason for this absurd demand and then delete it.
Thats the thing. I try not to bring my best friends name whenever i am conversating with my girlfriend. I guess, it's almost like i am running away from the problem but i have tried to bring both of them together but nothing has worked. I am not expecting them to be best friends ever and i can't throw my best friend out of my life..shes like my sister.
Original post by Yawn11
Bros over hoes.
And don't you think its a little convenient that she deleted these abusive texts? She sounds crazy man.
And don't you think its a little convenient that she deleted these abusive texts? She sounds crazy man.
Dude, you do not understand how weird that she somehow managed to "delete" these texts yet claims my friend defo sent them
Original post by MelanieDickson
It baffles me that people think its okay to tell their partner who they can and can't be friends with. It baffles me even more that they could have reason for this absurd demand and then delete it.
This. If your girlfriend really did get these abusive texts, surely she'd save them and show you?
If she simply discussed all this with you and said she was quite upset with your best friend's behaviour and asked you to talk to her or something... I'd understand that. But demanding you to sever your friendship? That isn't healthy, or fair.
I really dislike my boyfriends best friend but I'd never tell him to stop being friends with him. Thats really ott.
Maybe she's insecure and your best friend threatens her (in her head). Ask her if that's the problem.
My girlfriend doesn't like my best friend and neither did my boyfriend before that. If they don't like the bezzie they just shouldn't come round or hang out when they're there but respect that they're your friend and you can hang out with them as you please.
If she's trying to take that freedom away from you you should probably ditch her.
Posted from TSR Mobile
My girlfriend doesn't like my best friend and neither did my boyfriend before that. If they don't like the bezzie they just shouldn't come round or hang out when they're there but respect that they're your friend and you can hang out with them as you please.
If she's trying to take that freedom away from you you should probably ditch her.
Posted from TSR Mobile
She's jealous, it's as simple as that. She doesn't want to know that another girl knows you better than her and can have a relationship with you, platonic or not.
It's a tough one because you want to hang onto both. You either need to reassure your girlfriend that nothing has/ever will happen with your friend, or one of them needs to go.
It's too common a problem and I sort of feel for your girlfriend because sometimes you can't help being paranoid and jealous. I'd just try and reassure her as much as you can, and try and make them friends. If they get along and like each other, then your girlfriend won't worry anymore and you can all be friends.
It ruined my best friend's relationship with his girlfriend because she always suspected something and told him not to see me, which he refused to do. It drove a rift through them until it ended because she'd never let him see his friends or go out with us.
However.... that friend is now my boyfriend so maybe she had a point?
Have a long hard think about your relationship with both of these girls.
It's a tough one because you want to hang onto both. You either need to reassure your girlfriend that nothing has/ever will happen with your friend, or one of them needs to go.
It's too common a problem and I sort of feel for your girlfriend because sometimes you can't help being paranoid and jealous. I'd just try and reassure her as much as you can, and try and make them friends. If they get along and like each other, then your girlfriend won't worry anymore and you can all be friends.
It ruined my best friend's relationship with his girlfriend because she always suspected something and told him not to see me, which he refused to do. It drove a rift through them until it ended because she'd never let him see his friends or go out with us.
However.... that friend is now my boyfriend so maybe she had a point?
Have a long hard think about your relationship with both of these girls.
Just putting in my point of view...
You need to hear both sides of the story. Talk to your girlfriend about her feelings, but never just ask her if she's making it up because she feels threatened, as that might cause more problems. Remember that you also have an obligation to do what's right for your girlfriend.
Have you had girlfriends before that have gotten along with your best friend?
Posted from TSR Mobile
You need to hear both sides of the story. Talk to your girlfriend about her feelings, but never just ask her if she's making it up because she feels threatened, as that might cause more problems. Remember that you also have an obligation to do what's right for your girlfriend.
Have you had girlfriends before that have gotten along with your best friend?
Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 10 years ago)
I hate my best mate's girlfriend, I just ignore her when he's not there and she seems to get the message. Easily done.
Original post by Serentonin
I really dislike my boyfriends best friend but I'd never tell him to stop being friends with him. Thats really ott.
A few girls have replied like this, I think the crucial difference is you don't like HIM. Girl on girl grudges are something beyond the comprehension of man.
I think it's hard to say you have self respect if you are willing to ditch your best friend on your girlfriend's orders. Could you really look yourself in the mirror and call yourself a man if you did that? It sounds like you've tried what you can, if your girlfriend can't get past this that's it I'm afraid.
My ex hated my best friend, and he hated her too. Neither of them ever told me to cut the other out though. To me it sounds like she feels threatened by this girl despite you just being friends (some of my exes hated the fact I had friends who were girls).
I would never ditch any of my friends for a relationship, they are the ones that will be there for you in years to come if your relationship fails.
I would never ditch any of my friends for a relationship, they are the ones that will be there for you in years to come if your relationship fails.
Next time you shouldn't get your friends involved. It should be between you and her
Original post by carlaraptor
This. If your girlfriend really did get these abusive texts, surely she'd save them and show you?
If she simply discussed all this with you and said she was quite upset with your best friend's behaviour and asked you to talk to her or something... I'd understand that. But demanding you to sever your friendship? That isn't healthy, or fair.
If she simply discussed all this with you and said she was quite upset with your best friend's behaviour and asked you to talk to her or something... I'd understand that. But demanding you to sever your friendship? That isn't healthy, or fair.
This! That's what i don't understand. I guess, i keep trying to keep it in the back of my head but if i am going to contuine seeing my gf, they are bound to meet up again at some point in the future as i want them both to be in my life. I can't get rid of my best friend neither can i cut my gf as i really love her. I just want them to be neutral and not be in each other's way just for my sake but my gf wants my friend to apologize. They are both very different types of girls. So there was no chance that they would have ended up being best friends but just for my sake, i wish they would just be neutral.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Did he like me?
- Red flag
- random question
- Is helping the opposite gender considered cheating
- A guy I like who has a girl best friend.
- I miss my friend so much
- Right person, wrong time. I [M20] just want to forget about her [F19]
- Found out the guy I like has a girlfriend, could it be he likes me too?
- My friend is telling me to break up with my boyfriend, it's messing with my head
- my girlfriend sends pictures to my best friend
- My girlfriend never gets jealous?
- Why do people insult my looks in my relationship?
- if a girl has a heart emoji in her insta bio is she taken???
- Does my life suck?
- Does he like me?
- Where can I meet girls around the age of 17
- Does my friends boyfriend like me
- 27 (male) and never had a girlfriend
- Should we stay friends?
- I think I’m still in love with my guy best friend, though we do not talk anymore
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
