Can't shake these nightmares of ex :(

I was seeing this guy for around 3 months and realised he didn't want anything from me expect fun. I stopped texting him as I realised I wanted more and I was getting into a situation where I was feeling upset all the time. Since then I've been plagued with nightmares, where the dreams keep getting more vivid. I don't know what to do, I'm trying to move passed this but I can't help the dreams. What do I do?

Reply 1

Meaux

TSRception!
We must go in.
Seriously though, maybe try find some closure. If that isn't possible, find something else to keep you occupied! New hobby/going out more/work or w.e, it'll phase out. :smile:

Reply 2

Yidette

What's wrong with.... fun?

From here it sounds like a situation that you more or less brought upon yourself, perhaps your dreams are a reflection of how you're not being real with yourself about it in some way?

Reply 3

silverbolt

Original post by Anonymous

Dreams are your brains way of trying to sort out issues and nightmares can come from stress - however it doesnt nessecarily mean its about this guy. Is there anything else in your life. If so your brain is putting 2 and 2 together and getting 20.

Are you on any medication or are you eating late at night before going to bed. Both of these can contribute. It can also be a sleep disorder coming to the fore

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Yidette

Theres nothing wrong with fun but when you starting liking the person and he still wants to hook up with other girls, I call that the opposite of fun!

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

From your post; when you say "realised" & "stopped texting" I'll put my money on lack of communication.. something somewhere must have been a miss and the two of you might have seen things differently..

Clearly you wanted more but you have kept those feelings within yourself and now its bothering you with nightmares. (subconsciously??)

So he still wants to hook up with other women; while you start liking him? maybe he is keeping his options open since for almost 3 months you didnt make YOUR intentions clear to him; OR he's just another dick.

As Meaux said, closure should help you; try talking to him and clear everything out and that could ease your nightmares and give you a satisfaction that he ACTUALLY just wanted to have fun and YOU see no point in advancing the relationship!! (ending on your terms should give you the boost and control) communication is vital in any kind of relationship.
Or maybe he might be genuinely interested in you... absence makes the heart grow fonder :P

good luck! its not the end!!

BTW out of curiosity if you don't mind sharing; what exactly happens in your nightmares?

Reply 6

Yidette

Original post by Anonymous

Theres nothing wrong with fun but when you starting liking the person and he still wants to hook up with other girls, I call that the opposite of fun!

And I call that... leaving out vital parts of the story in the original post.

When you think of him, how do you feel? I know that's an obvious question, but WHY does this bother you? What's the core fear underlining your view on this? e.g. are you afraid of not being good enough to keep a guy, are you afraid of being lonely, are you afraid of being humiliated etc.

Also, were you actually in an exclusive relationship?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Yidette

I guess I didn't feel good enough even though a lot of our mutual friends said I was the best looking girl he had ever been out with and I was out of his league. He would say things that would nock at my self esteem, and then tell me how pretty I was. I felt like most of the game play got to much, I fell hard for him and realised if I carried on seeing him I was just going to feel crap all the time and felt I deserved someone who would not just refer to me as a bit of "fun" along with the rest of the girls he trying to pursue.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks for your response, that makes a lot of sense. I basically tell him how I feel and he shoots me down, telling me I knew it was only something casual, then he turns into someone else that I don't recognise. I've had them for 6 nights in a row and each morning I wake up feeling horrible again. I have to talk myself into stop texting him as I know he will just tell me it was never anything serious and that he has been hooking up with other girls. He hasn't been in touch since I stopped texting him last week, so I kind of feel thats it now. Every time I go to text him I remember all those niggly insulting lines he has said and I just get mad again :frown: