my boyfriend loses his erection JUST before sex?!

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
yeah so, he loses his erection just before sex .. he can easily get an erection no problem, it even just happens sometimes when we're only kissing or something harmless .. he can ejaculate fine also because this happens fine during foreplay & oral etc .. we're both 19 and have been friends for about 7 years and have been together for a while also .. so he hasn't got any reason to be nervous, i suppose? is it perhaps performance anxiety?! could it be the condom? could he be allergic to latex? or is the condom maybe too small? once the condom goes on its just all down hill from there .. i know this really gets to him because he goes really quiet after it happens and gets really embarrassed, which is understandable really .. but he knows it doesn't bother me, and i still love him which he knows .. at first i thought it was me but i know he finds me attractive and that he loves me & that he really wants to but it just doesn't happen after that condom goes on and just before we are about to have sex .. thats it, goodbye erection!
so, has anyone ever experienced this personally or has their partner? what did you/they do? should we see the doctor? and is there anything we should try before we go as extreme as visiting the doc?
i'd really appreciate any info/advice ..
thanks guys xx
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bluemax
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#2
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So as long as he doesn't put on the condom all's good? If that's so maybe you can have try contraceptive pill or something if you guys really wanna have sex. The other option is viagra but I'm not sure if that's the best idea :dontknow:
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Yawn11
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#3
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The possibilities:

1) He masturbates too much, and needs to cut down

2) The condom desensitizes him

4) He's needs to relax

5) Gay.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bluemax)
So as long as he doesn't put on the condom all's good? If that's so maybe you can have try contraceptive pill or something if you guys really wanna have sex. The other option is viagra but I'm not sure if that's the best idea :dontknow:
sorry i didn't explain that very well .. regardless to wether or not we would use a condom as soon as we go to start it just disapears? if thats explained a bit better now?
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Zubby77
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(Original post by Yawn11)
The possibilities:

1) He masturbates too much, and needs to cut down

2) The condom desensitizes him


4) He's needs to relax
Telling it like it is:^_^:

He's probably just really nervous about it tbh, try and relax him, don't get too intense
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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he doesn't actually masturbate that much, he tells me if he has the odd time
but the majority of the time its just oral etc .. if the condom is desensitises him what should we do? sorry i don't understand your number 3 point ..
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bluemax
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(Original post by Anonymous)
sorry i didn't explain that very well .. regardless to wether or not we would use a condom as soon as we go to start it just disapears? if thats explained a bit better now?

and he manages to keep it up during oral? Look its maybe performance anxiety or something. He may be even depress about something. Is like really in love with you and afraid of disappointing you?

You can try talking to him about this issue. He won't open up easily as its a very sensitive topic for guys but keep reassuring him you love him and not going anywhere and that may just do the trick
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Pigling
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#8
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Being able to have normal erections + young man + losing erections right before penetrative sex = classic nerves/performance anxiety. It is really common, and it perpetuates itself because now he'll be worrying about it happening every time sex is initiated.

Just try to reassure him (although careful to avoid emasculating!) and don't put pressure on him. Shift the focus away from performance. You can try more low-pressure activities (mutual masturbation, oral, massage etc) - this might reassure both of you he's definitely capable of getting an erection. If condoms are a problem, try putting them on at other times when he has an erection without going for sex, get used to putting them on without losing his erection? If he loses his erection, don't make a fuss - perhaps having an alternate activity which you'll both be happy with (eg: mutual masturbation) as a back up plan will take the pressure off. Or doing sexy stuff whilst you're watching a film, if he loses his erection, just go back to the film etc.
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Anonymous #1
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also posted 1-4 then wen't back a while later & added number 5 .. quite sad really!
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Justinetuser
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I had this same issue for what seemed like eternity I looked everywhere for an answer and it was right in front of my face the whole time but I wrote it off as too good to be true. What I found is it's just performance anxiety there is nothing wrong with his actual penis. So what I do now is right before I stick it in a take a couple of really deep breathes and somehow this makes everything fine. I cannot explain how, I don't know why but it has worked for me for a problem I thought was never going to go away. So just take a deep breath it somehow helps you not panic and have fear. It works! Trust me
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Plantagenet Crown
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#11
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(Original post by Justinetuser)
I had this same issue for what seemed like eternity I looked everywhere for an answer and it was right in front of my face the whole time but I wrote it off as too good to be true. What I found is it's just performance anxiety there is nothing wrong with his actual penis. So what I do now is right before I stick it in a take a couple of really deep breathes and somehow this makes everything fine. I cannot explain how, I don't know why but it has worked for me for a problem I thought was never going to go away. So just take a deep breath it somehow helps you not panic and have fear. It works! Trust me
What the hell did you type into TSR’s search function to find a thread that’s over 5 years old?
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The Uniqueness
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#12
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#12
Erectile dysfunction
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Wolfram Alpha
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
What the hell did you type into TSR’s search function to find a thread that’s over 5 years old?
Yeah Plantagenet, what on Earth brought you here?!?
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daiis
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#14
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Can you tell me more ?
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daiis
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#15
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(Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
What the hell did you type into TSR’s search function to find a thread that’s over 5 years old?
can you tell me more pls ??
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daiis
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#16
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Can you pls tell me more ??
(Original post by Justinetuser)
I had this same issue for what seemed like eternity I looked everywhere for an answer and it was right in front of my face the whole time but I wrote it off as too good to be true. What I found is it's just performance anxiety there is nothing wrong with his actual penis. So what I do now is right before I stick it in a take a couple of really deep breathes and somehow this makes everything fine. I cannot explain how, I don't know why but it has worked for me for a problem I thought was never going to go away. So just take a deep breath it somehow helps you not panic and have fear. It works! Trust me
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DiddyDec
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#17
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(Original post by daiis)
can you tell me more pls ??
You dig up a 7 year old thread to quote a 2 year old post.

Why?
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candydiva
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#18
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Coz the thread deals with male performance issues which is not an issue that is somehow "out of date" coz it's seven years old...not even if it were seven thousand years old this issue is as old as the human race!
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Anonymous #2
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Report 1 month ago
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Maybe he's just not sexually attracted to you after being friends for that long and sees you platonically
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