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If Im going to spend the rest of my life alone , im struggling to see a point in exis Watch

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    #1

    Im hideously ugly , i have an athletic physique but thats about the sole thing going for me . Im extremely aesthetically challenged neck upwards , im very very below average , maybe a 2 or 3 . Wide nose with a almost no nose bridge , sticky out eyes that are "too far apart" , "wierdly small ears" (these are all things ive been told , sometimes by random people with no malicious intent) and a head that cant fit larged size caps on .
    I spend money on skincare and have been working out for about 3 weeks now ( im not bragging but i have a somewhat naturally burly body and I dont really need to work out) but there is no other practical and possible solution for curing my ugliness (plastic surgery is out of the question , its taking away your own identity imo , like selling your soul).

    The more I think about it , the more I realise everything I do is somehow inverted towards getting a partner . I started working to get money to put towards working out and getting new clothes , buying a fragrance , jewelry etc.(I also started learning to play an instrument and began taking driving lessons) I think one of my deepest desires is to feel unconditional love , I have close friends but its not the same.

    Im quite a simple guy , I have no "pedestal" I wish to reach in life .( I know some people have goals of having a good profession , having 2 kids of either sex etc) , and I have few ambitions apart from raising a son to be a man and having a family with a wife . Im not materialistic in the least , and I dont like the idea of working my life away on material possesions which I will leave behind when im rotting in the ground . Im the kind of guy that takes life as it comes.. I do understand that these sorts of things will be more important in the future but ultimately(cliche but its true) money can't buy hapiness .


    People are going to tell me to focus on getting a good career , education etc . Im currently studying A levels and hope to go to university and im not sacrificing / endangering my education in any way or form.

    Im not shy , im not quiet . Im a somewhat charasmatic and confident guy , but it is all to no avail . It cant compensate for the train wreck of a face I have . I know some girls are willing to overlook average guys average looks but when your very below the average scale I think your only chance is if some poor woman gets with you out of pity , and I could never live with that. I mix with girls on a regular basis , I attend college which is full of girls , my workplace is full of girls , I always try my best to be playful etc .If I like a girl , I make 100 percent effort and end up asking her out , this isnt short term either , it takes a while for me to generate feelings , since about 14 ive asked out about 5 girls (im talking about asking her to be my girlfriend) and each one rejected me . Its made me tougher skinned and I never let it hold me back , I have no problem approaching girls and since the start of college I have approached many girls , most of which were not in my classes and ended up becoming friends . But no girl has ever shown romantic interest in me for the 17 years I have existed ,it is often said 18 is meant to be the peak of a mans looks , If that is true I dont think I will ever have hope .

    I might aswell just accept that and somehow find another source of drive in my life . Its hard for me though because few things in life actually motivate me , money isnt worth working your life away for if you have no one to spend it with ...
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    I honestly believe there is someone for everyone. Sure, if you are less attractive the dating game is harder, there is no two ways about that, so it is a matter of patience and resilience. The amount of knocks you describe seems pretty normal to me anyway and you are young. I didn't have a proper kiss till I was 23! See if there is any advice you can get on improving your appearance - there are things to be done with clothes, hair, teeth.. Keep playing on the strengths you know about too. And don't underestimate the importance of education and career - this is important for relationships and for life happiness. Things in my experience do work out in the end.
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    You can't be that bad looking! Post a pic?
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    Pic?


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
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    Pic.

    Also, OP, we're gonna make it brah
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    I know a guy who had to have a motorcycle helmet made for him because his head is too big.
    He can't find jeans to wear in normal shops because he can't find them in 36" waist coupled with a 32" leg (yes, he's short and round).
    His ears are pointy and small.
    He's hairy.
    He's socially awkward.
    He has skin trouble.

    But.
    He's intelligent.
    He's funny.
    He's caring.
    He's loyal.
    He's friendly.

    He's my boyfriend of over 3 years.

    People (apart from arrogant people) will never 'rate' their looks. I still look in the mirror and see: awkward, oily skin, flat hair, small boobs, podgy fingers, knees that turn inwards. I've also been working as a fashion and beauty model for the last 4-5 years.

    People find the worst things in themselves and concentrate on that. This will get you nowhere. Find something you like about yourself, something positive (you say you don't really have to work out...that's great! I wish I was the same!). Focus on the positives and the negatives will melt away. So what if your eyes are too far apart? I'll bet they're a gorgeous colour.

    My best friend is 33 and he's got very low self esteem. No matter what we (his friends) tell him, he always said he was destined to be alone (he has small ears too, funnily enough). He was always saying that he was ugly, that he was a 1 or 2 our of ten. 3 years ago he met the girl of his dreams and they got married this summer.

    You're 18, dude. You have SO much life ahead of you. Worrying about what you look like will only make you sad, and being sad will make you self concious and being self concious will make you worry about what you look like!

    Smile. A smile makes everyone look a million dollars
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    You are mistaken. What holds you back is your insecurities. You need to believe you aren't that bad looking, act like a guy who isn't bad looking and then the way people resond to you will change drastically, believe me.


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    I agree with the above poster: Confidence is worth so much more than actual looks!
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    Continue with that attitude and you will be forever alone, nobody likes a negative nancy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im hideously ugly , i have an athletic physique but thats about the sole thing going for me . Im extremely aesthetically challenged neck upwards , im very very below average , maybe a 2 or 3 . Wide nose with a almost no nose bridge , sticky out eyes that are "too far apart" , "wierdly small ears" (these are all things ive been told , sometimes by random people with no malicious intent) and a head that cant fit larged size caps on .
    I spend money on skincare and have been working out for about 3 weeks now ( im not bragging but i have a somewhat naturally burly body and I dont really need to work out) but there is no other practical and possible solution for curing my ugliness (plastic surgery is out of the question , its taking away your own identity imo , like selling your soul).

    The more I think about it , the more I realise everything I do is somehow inverted towards getting a partner . I started working to get money to put towards working out and getting new clothes , buying a fragrance , jewelry etc.(I also started learning to play an instrument and began taking driving lessons) I think one of my deepest desires is to feel unconditional love , I have close friends but its not the same.

    Im quite a simple guy , I have no "pedestal" I wish to reach in life .( I know some people have goals of having a good profession , having 2 kids of either sex etc) , and I have few ambitions apart from raising a son to be a man and having a family with a wife . Im not materialistic in the least , and I dont like the idea of working my life away on material possesions which I will leave behind when im rotting in the ground . Im the kind of guy that takes life as it comes.. I do understand that these sorts of things will be more important in the future but ultimately(cliche but its true) money can't buy hapiness .


    People are going to tell me to focus on getting a good career , education etc . Im currently studying A levels and hope to go to university and im not sacrificing / endangering my education in any way or form.

    Im not shy , im not quiet . Im a somewhat charasmatic and confident guy , but it is all to no avail . It cant compensate for the train wreck of a face I have . I know some girls are willing to overlook average guys average looks but when your very below the average scale I think your only chance is if some poor woman gets with you out of pity , and I could never live with that. I mix with girls on a regular basis , I attend college which is full of girls , my workplace is full of girls , I always try my best to be playful etc .If I like a girl , I make 100 percent effort and end up asking her out , this isnt short term either , it takes a while for me to generate feelings , since about 14 ive asked out about 5 girls (im talking about asking her to be my girlfriend) and each one rejected me . Its made me tougher skinned and I never let it hold me back , I have no problem approaching girls and since the start of college I have approached many girls , most of which were not in my classes and ended up becoming friends . But no girl has ever shown romantic interest in me for the 17 years I have existed ,it is often said 18 is meant to be the peak of a mans looks , If that is true I dont think I will ever have hope .

    I might aswell just accept that and somehow find another source of drive in my life . Its hard for me though because few things in life actually motivate me , money isnt worth working your life away for if you have no one to spend it with ...
    I understand what you say when you talk about not wanting material possessions, and that's fine. However, part of having a meaningful relationship with someone is based on the fact that you're comfortable with yourself. This doesn't mean that you have to think you're god's gift to women, but it should involve you working towards something that you enjoy. I think if you decide on a profession/a degree/take up a hobby you are passionate about, it will make you feel happier as well as being more attractive to women. Interest and passion about something makes someone interesting and intriguing.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    it is often said 18 is meant to be the peak of a mans looks , If that is true I dont think I will ever have hope .
    I have neither heard it said or seen it to be true. The best looking guys when I was 18 now look like they've been hit around the face with a dustbin. Whereas some of the 'funny looking' ones are quite good looking now. How you can generalise a whole population to say that we all peak at one age is ridiculous. I don't think men begin to develop good looks until they are about 25-30, but that is probably because they have grown up and are more mature to go with it.

    Despite what it seems when you're 17 life isn't about being in a relationship and sometimes it is a lot more fun to be single. Relationships bring lots of responsibility so I'd advise you enjoy doing things you enjoy doing. The saying that does hold true which you haven't mentioned is the one about buses. When you're standing on the pavement longing for one to come along to take you where you (think you) want to go you will be waiting a very long time. However, as soon as you find something new to do that you enjoy there will be 3 buses waiting at the bus stop. It holds true in life. Find things you enjoy and do them, as soon as people start to see that you have a full and rounded life, they want to be a part of it. When they see you as empty and desperate they will shy away, it's human nature.
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    What I've noticed about men is that strange facial features are normally not a hindrance to how handsome the opposite sex perceives them. I can't tell you how often I've had a romantic interest for guys whom are not your typical Brad Pitt. With that said, I also think that your confidence is the most important feature a man (and a woman) can have. It really doesn't matter if you're the most handsome guy at college, because an insecure and shy one will not appeal as much to women.


    Fine, you've been let down by 5 girls so far - but let me make this clear to you - YOU'RE 17 YEARS OLD. Girls at that age are picky and looking for Mr. One Direction-faces. During the teenage years one is also more judgmental (both sexes). Girls decisions and feelings are often ''controlled'' by other peoples perceptions.


    As you get older and you begin to work and go to university with older women, I'm positive that you'll end up seeing a difference. Many guys who were not popular among girls at college and high school, have now got girlfriends.

    All around, you sound like a very attractive guy. You're quite confident, your social, athletic and with good intentions. It would be nice if you posted a pic, but I doubt you'd listen to us and it's probably embarrassing for you to do that in case you get recognised
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have neither heard it said or seen it to be true. The best looking guys when I was 18 now look like they've been hit around the face with a dustbin. Whereas some of the 'funny looking' ones are quite good looking now. How you can generalise a whole population to say that we all peak at one age is ridiculous. I don't think men begin to develop good looks until they are about 25-30, but that is probably because they have grown up and are more mature to go with it.

    Despite what it seems when you're 17 life isn't about being in a relationship and sometimes it is a lot more fun to be single. Relationships bring lots of responsibility so I'd advise you enjoy doing things you enjoy doing. The saying that does hold true which you haven't mentioned is the one about buses. When you're standing on the pavement longing for one to come along to take you where you (think you) want to go you will be waiting a very long time. However, as soon as you find something new to do that you enjoy there will be 3 buses waiting at the bus stop. It holds true in life. Find things you enjoy and do them, as soon as people start to see that you have a full and rounded life, they want to be a part of it. When they see you as empty and desperate they will shy away, it's human nature.
    TL:dr

    Op if you are indeed 17, your facial features are still maturing.

    Secondly, if say you hit your 20s and find that you are absolutely ugly. By that have some features you dislike. You could look into getting cosmetic surgery.

    At the end of the day it's not what others think that matter. You have to live with it.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by chrislok)
    What I've noticed about men is that strange facial features are normally not a hindrance to how handsome the opposite sex perceives them. I can't tell you how often I've had a romantic interest for guys whom are not your typical Brad Pitt. With that said, I also think that your confidence is the most important feature a man (and a woman) can have. It really doesn't matter if you're the most handsome guy at college, because an insecure and shy one will not appeal as much to women.


    Fine, you've been let down by 5 girls so far - but let me make this clear to you - YOU'RE 17 YEARS OLD. Girls at that age are picky and looking for Mr. One Direction-faces. During the teenage years one is also more judgmental (both sexes). Girls decisions and feelings are often ''controlled'' by other peoples perceptions.


    As you get older and you begin to work and go to university with older women, I'm positive that you'll end up seeing a difference. Many guys who were not popular among girls at college and high school, have now got girlfriends.

    All around, you sound like a very attractive guy. You're quite confident, your social, athletic and with good intentions. It would be nice if you posted a pic, but I doubt you'd listen to us and it's probably embarrassing for you to do that in case you get recognised
    Being an ugly guy. I am going to be 29 soon.

    I found that with women anyway, not much changes as you get older. If anything it gets harder - if you don't have the looks, they start to discriminate you based on what you can provide financially etc etc

    Sure I have some ugly friends who are married. But the reality is, many if them just went with the first girl that showed interest. My truly good looking friends, have choice. And I think this is what bothers most 'ugly' people
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Being an ugly guy. I am going to be 29 soon.

    I found that with women anyway, not much changes as you get older. If anything it gets harder - if you don't have the looks, they start to discriminate you based on what you can provide financially etc etc

    Sure I have some ugly friends who are married. But the reality is, many if them just went with the first girl that showed interest. My truly good looking friends, have choice. And I think this is what bothers most 'ugly' people
    Well, you'll always meet women who will reject you because of your looks/finances, however at the end of the day it all depends on your personality...
    • #4
    #4

    I can completely understand why your working towards having a relationship with unconditional love (I'm sorta the same). But you're 17 years old - you're with a bunch of teenagers or young adults who are still influenced by other people's opinions - they're still developing as people. In a few years they would have developed and then you can the person who is worth your time.

    I also agree about what other posters have said - confidence is key. I've been attracted to guys who I wouldn't have looked at before in that way only because of their confidence. It really does make a difference.

    Also I think you should do things you love and focus on the positive things in life - thinking positively makes the world a better place and it makes living life a constant joy. Good luck!
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    We are always our own worst critic. You need to relax about this, enjoy your life and you WILL meet the perfect person for you, she will be interested in who you are rather than how you look. You are comparing your behind-the-scenes with other peoples highlight reel!
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    I watched this yesterday, I think it'll help.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHGPUzPGI_Y
    • #5
    #5

    You have no idea how close to home this hit. Im the same age as you although my isnt about me being naturally ugly its about things such as acne that are beyond my control. You have no idea how much people have told me that i would be a Ten if i didn't have acne. Ive had guys tell me straight up no homo bro but you're good looking you just need to clear your acne.

    Im working hard on it but it sucks to see people in relationships and all you want is someone to care about you even though you have friends its not the same. I want that feeling of caring about somebody. Thinking about their smile when you're down and working hard to make a good life for her.

    But there is a silver lining. I will find someone i care about, i will marry her and i will have the most beautiful kids ever. Life if bright stop worrying now. Take on a hobby like long boarding like me you will enjoy it. Stop wasting money on clothes and open an ISA with barclays you will regret spending so much latter. I've spent so much buying shoes, jeans and Paco robanne fragrances (£50) to attract girls.

    Live life and life will make you happy.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by chrislok)
    Well, you'll always meet women who will reject you because of your looks/finances, however at the end of the day it all depends on your personality...
    Yeah but it gets disheartening after a while.

    Before you get anywhere with women - you have to literally go through 100s of rejections and made to feel like a piece of turd which impacts your confidence. Whereas you see some guys make a fraction if the effort actually get the girl you are after.

    What I am trying to say; the OP should do whatever he can to shift the odds in his favour.
    If that requires cosmetic surgery to 'improve his appearance' so be it.

    Dating is unfortunately a competitive environment. Just having confidence is not enough, because there are plenty if men out there that are successful;good looking and are confident.
 
 
 
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