GCSE English Language Unit 1 Question 1 Help Plzzzz

This is referring to the January 2013 paper talking about lost tribes. Can someone plz mark this for me without the text if you can?

One thing we can learn is that there is a range of tribes which are missing or lost. We can see that there is only evidence of ’29 uncontacted tribes’ showing that we can learn they have been lost in the Amazon having no contact with the outside world fighting to survive since it is survival of the fittest relying on resources the forest can provide. We can further reinforce this with a sudden change of ‘up to 70.’ This shows that the Brazilian Indian affairs don’t actually know how many tribes have been lost to survive and their opinions are not going to justify how many are living alone. Later on we can see that the tribes don’t rely on the basic resources and instead use domestic product. We can see that these tribes don’t have intimacy with ‘water’ showing they don’t use a natural resource instead they use it for ‘agriculture.’ This shows they rely on their crops to provide food for themselves and without agriculture they wouldn’t be able to survive within the jungle. This is reinforced by the fact that they are ‘remarkably healthier’ shows that they grow the ingredients they need and use their agriculture to keep them healthy since in the forest they are on their own having ‘no contact’ has enabled them to grow their own resources which they need to survive and are unable to have any help from the outside since the most tiniest of insects can cause lots of damage to them. Lastly we can learn that a tribe is unable to communicate to the outside world and are forbidden since it can kill them. We can see that the most ‘common cold’ is fatal to these tribes and can be serious to their health with killing ‘50%’ shows they don’t have the resources to amend their health and only rely on agriculture to provide their basic domestic goods and know they need to be isolated. This is reinforced with the fact they are ‘healthy’ showing their effort to keep them safe will still kill them since their immune system aren’t healthy they will still catch diseases and need to be ‘isolated’ from the outside world since they need to keep their population high and not spread a vital disease which can be deadly.

I would honestly say that you would get full marks if you would just paragraphs and varying the start of the sentences instead of having "we can see" " later we see" If you get what I mean, but that's really good. Well done!!