Mental Health Support Society Mk X

I had a bit of an odd occurrence today. I skipped school out of stress - I took diazepam but it didn't kick in until I'd already left the building, lol - and headed for the coffee shop. I remember sitting and waiting to order, and then, the next thing I knew, I was sitting with the empty cup of coffee in front of me, being asked if I wanted another.

Out of the inertia of being thrown back into myself, I answered, yes, and had another. But I completely blacked out between sitting down and finishing my coffee. The only other times this has ever happened to me was when I was self-harming or binge eating, and, then, the memories faded over a period of five minutes or so. I've never had anything this immediate before, except once when I was sedated with some very high dose of lorazepam for tube-feeding. It's weird. I don't mind it; it doesn't bother me; it'd actually be handy if I could trigger it on purpose to get through stressful events; but it's weird.

1x mentor form, 1x prescription thing, 1x volunteering application, communication with SF and uni about fees and shizz, something else which I've forgotten.
Most of it is just me being faced with lots of paper so not doing any of it

Deal!

*crawls back looking pathetic*

Starting to feel like it's time to start setting up camp in here again

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I've been through the mill a bit this summer. I had a relapse during August and nearly ended up back in hospital (thankfully they only transferred me to the home treatment team).

Ended up going back to work way too early and had two weeks of hellish anxiety that I couldn't deal with.

Then on Monday when I was so close to just resigning (I literally had the letter written) I agreed to stay on and was prescribed Pregabilin which so far has taken away all of my anxiety while at work. It's only been one day but I know that if I didn't have it I would have freaked out today. Hopefully this will be enough to get me through this work contract and I'll be able to finish something positively for once without having to give it up before it gets to the end.

Hey. Saw your pregabilin thread (had nothing useful to post though ), I'm really glad it's worked so quickly for you. Does it come with any bad side-effects (can't say I've ever heard of it before...)?

The worst side effects so far are feeling drunk and spacing out. I was meant to be doing some work on the computer today for my boss and realised after half an hour that I had just been staring at the screen for all that time doing nothing. Doh!

Wow. I hope one of these days I'll be in the same position.

The best I've been able to manage is being in a full time apprenticeship. I'd love to go back to University but I think I'd need a bit more time yet before I could deal with that.

i'm not too bad with food - I get panicky if the food I was planning to eat isn't around at home. I do panic if say my bus doesn't come, or they have a temporary route change. But as a whole I plan what I can do if something isn't the way I planned it. usually I panic if I can't get all my revision done or something. That really gets me down.

Well my marmite jar lid would have other ideas over strength Seriously, I just want some marmite toast, why you not open?!

1x mentor form, 1x prescription thing, 1x volunteering application, communication with SF and uni about fees and shizz, something else which I've forgotten.
Most of it is just me being faced with lots of paper so not doing any of it

Deal!

I've developed a 39 hour hour week for revision outside of school. That seems to work for me, one hour less than last year, which puts me on edge a bit - an hour is quite a lot, but I think it will help to have a little less. Good luck for uni, try just to have fun at times and balance the work as well. What course are you studying?

I'm feeling quite a bit better today actually - which I know won't last, but after how horrific yesterday felt, I feel surprisingly calm and quite cheerful.

Feeling incredibly low today . Deserve it because I've been missing doses again . Even though it was a beautiful day I've not gone out and have been stuck in my room all day. Honestly deserve it

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made Dr Who cakes for my boyfriend, they went wrong, but i made them which is a good thing right?

Baking = always a good thing.

Thanks. Will definitely try again tomorrow. Just hoping I manage, because they'll all start to worry if I'm off too much.
Yeah, we're good at that.
Yeah. They're so lovely to me, and don't seem to mind if I cry on them.
Aw no. Is there anything you can do that will take your mind off things, even if it's only for a wee while?
I'm okay. Had a friend over for a couple of hours (we were originally going into town for coffee but there's no way I would of managed that today). Really had a nice time, and we've made plans to meet up again.
How are you doing?

It seems to work for me at the moment - trying not to panick about the missing hour, but I'm a little panicked cause I have such a busy week next week that I may only get 20 hours done which is playing on my mind a lot. I'm trying to fit in some free time as well.

Ooh that sounds interesting. Hope you really enjoy it

I hope it lasts the last stint of cheerfulness lasted 2-3 weeks which is probably the longest and I honestly thought it would last. Hopefully I get another 2 weeks.


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they were menna have dr who figuers on the top, but they didnt come out of the thingy properly do they fell apart

but there still scrummy, my cakes are pretty bloody amazing if i do say so myself, even without the use of weighing scales or a recipie book

Skipped volunteering again today Why am I such a ****ing loser wimp??? I told my wife that I don't think I'm ready to commit to volunteering atm and although angry she seems to have accepted that so will hopefully ( ) stop pressuring me to go. Really hate myself for wimping out and her pressuring me on top makes me feel so much worse when I inevitably don't go. Gonna tell my psychologist that we need to change tactics.