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    Well, you have two main options.

    1. Get over it and go through with the contract
    or
    2. Back out and find another place to live.

    If you get on with them well then there shouldn't be an issue, gay or not. However, at the end of the day (even if it is due to holding seemingly rather shallow views) you have to be comfortable wherever it is you live. If you don't think you're going to feel comfortable then don't live with them.
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    If you really cant stomach the idea of living with them, it's best that you back out now. Better to feel bad for a few days than go through with it and not be able to cope.
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    You don't have to **** them!

    And gay guys will have their girl friends.. It could be to your advantage!


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    Are they nice guys? You write that you wouldn't mind being friends with them. If you put aside the mannerisms, would you be okay living with them? It sounds like you would.

    So, perhaps it's simply a case of getting used to them? I think it's perfectly natural to feel a bit awkward when you're around people who behave in a very different way than you're used to. I once ended up in a house with party animals, heavily into the club scene, whilst I'm a geeky rock chick. That was weird at first, and could be awkward, but we soon moved past all that. It's all about what kind of people they are and how you get along.

    If you really don't think it will work, though, I agree with other posters that it may be best to find somewhere else.
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    Why is this in relationships? Are you planning to have a relationship with a gay person?
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    Why is it awkward, if you are not gay? Gay people are really nice and maybe you just have to get used to it! I'm a lesbian but I don't act any different.
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    I would say, go with it and seek to broaden your mind and be tolerant. There is a lot of prejudice about homosexuality, I have have felt this way previously. But now I am glad to see longstanding ingrained prejudice and discrimination is being rolled back - it must have been terrible to be gay not so long ago and even now Im sure it has its moments. I am still deep inside a little uncomfortable with gay sex/dating but I have faced up to this and see people as people and don't get hung up about behaviour and sexual choices which differ from mine. Just my view..
    • #1
    #1

    You need to think EXACTLY what they are doing that's making you feel uncomfortable, because I don't think you are normal with it if you can't broaden your problem with it. Unless your gay yourself mate...
    Tolerate it, don't assume they will hit on you because you are kind of bringing it on yourself the worry.
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    (Original post by terri liverpool)
    Why is it awkward, if you are not gay? Gay people are really nice and maybe you just have to get used to it! I'm a lesbian but I don't act any different.
    I dunno it just is.

    I have met Gay people who aren't really gay/camp before.It's not so much the sexual orientation itself which makes feel uncomfortable. I know they don't want to hit on me. It's the fact they act very gay and are very camp in front of me which makes me feel awkward. I put it down as "gay mannerisms", which is probably a rubbish description but it's sort of how I feel. I'm not saying they should hide the fact they're gay, they can be as open or as "gay" as they want, just acting like that really makes me feel uncomfortable.

    You're right I might get used to it. I'm also kind of terrified of my parents or family visiting there or knowing I'm living with "gay people" or a house with majority of gay people.

    If they said they were gay but didn't overtly act in a camp manner as such I probably wouldn't mind them. It's the fact they they do act very camp/gay. To the point where you don't really need to ask them if they're gay or not, it's so obvious.
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    [QUOTE=Razforest;42582959]I dunno it just is.

    I have met Gay people who aren't really gay/camp before.It's not so much the sexual orientation itself which makes feel uncomfortable. I know they don't want to hit on me. It's the fact they act very gay and are very camp in front of me which makes me feel awkward. I put it down as "gay mannerisms", which is probably a rubbish description but it's sort of how I feel. I'm not saying they should hide the fact they're gay, they can be as open or as "gay" as they want, just acting like that really makes me feel uncomfortable.

    You're right I might get used to it. I'm also kind of terrified of my parents or family visiting there or knowing I'm living with "gay people" or a house with majority of gay people.

    If they said they were gay but didn't overtly act in a camp manner as such I probably wouldn't mind them. It's the fact they they do act very camp/gay. To the point where you don't really need to ask them if they're gay or not, it's so obvious.[Aww I see, well I have rules as to how far I go because I'm a lesbian so I don't act it I'm perfectly normal! I see how you feel because you are living with a fair few of tjem ]
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    (Original post by Razforest)
    I dunno it just is.

    I have met Gay people who aren't really gay/camp before.It's not so much the sexual orientation itself which makes feel uncomfortable. I know they don't want to hit on me. It's the fact they act very gay and are very camp in front of me which makes me feel awkward. I put it down as "gay mannerisms", which is probably a rubbish description but it's sort of how I feel. I'm not saying they should hide the fact they're gay, they can be as open or as "gay" as they want, just acting like that really makes me feel uncomfortable.

    You're right I might get used to it. I'm also kind of terrified of my parents or family visiting there or knowing I'm living with "gay people" or a house with majority of gay people.

    If they said they were gay but didn't overtly act in a camp manner as such I probably wouldn't mind them. It's the fact they they do act very camp/gay. To the point where you don't really need to ask them if they're gay or not, it's so obvious.
    Thing is, though... would it really matter what your parents or family think? University is about new experiences, and about meeting people who you may not have met in other circumstances. That's part of the fun. You're broadening your world.

    It does sound like your upbringing has a lot to do with how you feel. And that can be difficult to overcome. It's far from impossible, though. You're your own person now, shaping your own life and making your own decisions.

    It may be good to give these guys a chance. A few months from now, you may wonder what the big deal was.
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    I'd prob be in your interest to move as you're clearly uncomfortable. Or change your way of thinking.
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    It's sounds like you're a bit homophobic. But I don't mean that in a derogatory way. It sounds like you're quite literally afraid, haha.

    Tis normal when confronted with something that's unusual or we don't understand. But a little bit of immersion therapy never hurt anyone. I think you should go for it, might well do you some good. C'mon, man up and see it as a challenge. You're conquering yourself, your uneasiness, your prejudices, and at the end of the day you'll be a better, more understanding, tolerant person.

    Could it be you're afraid of people thinking you're gay too when you're with them?
    • #2
    #2

    I think people are being really quite insensitive. I can understand where you're coming from, I'm gay myself and I know first hand that a number of gay men can be quite frosty, including myself sometimes. At lot of it is to do with them feeling awkward too; you never know who is harboring homophobic views. Once the ice is broken though I'm sure you'll get on fine or at least be able to tolerate each other. At the end of the day it's not such a bad thing, it might help to broaden your horizons.
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    I think people are being really quite insensitive. I can understand where you're coming from, I'm gay myself and I know first hand that a number of gay men can be quite frosty, including myself sometimes. At lot of it is to do with them feeling awkward too; you never know who is harboring homophobic views. Once the ice is broken though I'm sure you'll get on fine or at least be able to tolerate each other. At the end of the day it's not such a bad thing, it might help to broaden your horizons.
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    Do you think that every girl you meet will hit on you? No, and I expect they don't and it also means that every gay man you meet isn't going to hit on you either,

    If they do then... you just say no, it's no big deal?

    You don't have anything to worry about, it won't be bad.
    Like, I was a bit worried when I moved to uni because I was going to be living with 5 guys and as I went to an all girls school, I wasn't really used to being around guys and thought it'd be awkward, but hey, it turns out it's fine and I got on with them better than I did with the one girl I lived with.
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    Don't play truth or dare
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    You're obviously not consciously homophobic, but you've probably got a bit of ingrained, subconscious prejudice in you from your upbringing. (I was the same! Very Catholic household - gay is bad - when I started realising I'm bi I was initially repulsed by myself even though, logically, I had no problems with bisexuality.) Which is a shame but lots of people have it - it's that kneejerk recoil when encountering something that we're told if disgusting, even if every fibre of our logical being is saying "no it's fine". Like eating insects; you KNOW they're fine, just protein, and you've heard people say they're quite tasty if cooked right, but there's something in you that you don't understand that just isn't into it.

    I think you should go for it. Rationally you know it's fine. If they're nice people that you get along with, then I'm sure that after a month or so you won't even notice their camp-ness. People are really adaptable; you can used to much worse things than a bit of camp. (And it'll save you all the fuss of finding another place to live.)
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    (Original post by Razforest)
    I am straight and I'm a uni student, and it turns out I'll be living with 3 gay people and one straight guy due to some arrangements (people moving in/out, some taking a placement so needing students to fill accomodation). These three people are very openly gay, i.e. clear gay mannerisms.

    I'm a little ashamed of myself but I feel incredibly awkward around them. I know I shouldn't, but the way they act, I can't help it. My parents and background given my religious upbringing perhaps has added to that.

    I'm fine with being friends with them or talking to them, but actually living with them has really thrown me. I'm not worried they'll hit on me or anything, I'm sure they won't it's just I can't get past the whole gay mannerisms (which they are very stereotypical, i.e. very camp).

    Feel like I want to back out of the contract and go and live with other people, but feel really bad about it. I'd like to have thought I wasn't prejudiced, but actually facing the prospect of living with them, I'm really awkward about it. And rejecting them because they're gay, I just kind of feel a little sick with myself.

    Thoughts/advice? Anyone been in a similar position?

    Its kind of a weird reason. If you don't move in I would recommend making up another reason and not telling them or anyone the truth at all. Be honest with yourself though and don't do something that will make you unhappy for a year
 
 
 
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