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Nannies vs Stay at Home Mums Watch

  • View Poll Results: Were You Raised By Your Mum or A Nanny?
    Nanny
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    Stay at home Mum
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    My mother (and Mumsnet/Daily Mail "Femail reader" comment box types) believe that "career women" are bad, irresponsible "mothers" who produce children who feel rejected, unhappy and unloved and grow up psychologically damaged because they "chose work over them". That they should never have children and that they are the unpleasant result of the feminist "lie" back in the 60s and 70s that women don't have to cook, clean and be sub-subservient to their husbands only, that they can get jobs, have careers, make their own money and have wider aspirations.

    I'm of the opinion that their opinion is a load of crap and career women who have children and hire nannies to do most of the domesticated tasks are just as legit to be parents and aren't way more likely to produce and raise (via their nannies) psychologically damaged children than "traditional" stay at home mums.

    So I want to know your experiences of both. Were you raised in a nanny led household, with high flying middle class parents you seldom saw but provided you a lifestyle and platform to be a success yourself and did you grow up "damaged"? Do you resent being raised by a nanny rather than your biological mother?

    Or were you raised by a stay at home mum. With this one, I'm only interested in low income household SAHMs. Stay at home mums married to rich men I'm not interested in because there's no "sacrifice" or compromise there to speak of to give this discussion any meat. Thanks.
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    It depends on whether the family need the extra income and the children can cope with both parents at work when they're home from school.

    I don't think it really matters if the mother decides to go back to work or if she wants to stay home with the children and be a housewife, as long as the home is "stable" (i.e. children are happy) and the important chores are done.

    For the majority of my life my Mum has been a housewife, because my parents could afford for it to happen. But she would have gone to work if the circumstances changed. It was down to her preference for caring for us and if she wanted to continue her career, she would have when I was older.

    I actually think there's more stigma against stay at home mums as family members have called our family set up sheltered which I don't think is fair as we appreciate it and it's not perfect. Housewives do difficult jobs and I don't think it's better or worse to get a job or stay home.
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    Are we just ignoring the role of the father here?
    I was raised by a mixture of nannies, au pairs and my mum, but my dad was always constant in my upbringing.

    Housewives do difficult jobs
    Certainly, but compared a woman who had a job as well as doing all the other household chores, I'd be inclined to say that the woman with a job has a harder job.
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    A stay at home mother who doesn't want to be at home is going to be unhappy...and unhappy parents generally don't make happy children.
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    Additionally I spent time in nursery from an early age and I never felt 'rejected' or 'unloved'. It never occurred to me because my parents always showed that they loved me, why would a young child have any notion that not being with mother all day = she doesn't love me? I think people ascribe their own reasonings and justifications onto children, when children would never themselves think of such things.
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    Comparing it to myself and a friend, my mum was single a parent who didn't hire a nanny but sent me to an afterschool club. That was different because I still saw my mum most of the day, it was only during school and 2 hours afterschool I didn't see her.


    My friend on the other hand had a nanny all the time and I noticed he felt neglected by his mum who just bought him presents rather than actually chose to engage with her child since she had the safety net of a nanny to do so for her.


    So to reply to your question OP, I do think stay at home mums are probably better.
 
 
 
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